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We had just finished listening to an old Simon and Garfunkel tune when my young daughter asked, "Well, did he?" "Did he what?" I asked back. "Did Parsley save Rosemary in time?" --Ron Pearce
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A family was celebrating their daughter's fifth birthday at a local restaurant when the little girl's father noticed her looking sadly at a moose head on the wall. Someone had placed a party hat on its head. Her father knelt beside her and explained why some people hunt animals. "I know all that," the child sobbed. "But why did they have to shoot him at his birthday party?" --Jerry Bundick
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My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. "How do you get out of here?" Jim asked. The fellow smiled and said, "No cheese for you." --Christine Probasco
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Although desperate for work, I passed on a job that I'd found on an employment website. It was for a wastewater plant operator. Among the job requirements: "Must be able to swim." --Michael Leamons
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I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds." "Sweetheart," my mother gently chided, "this is not the Internet." --M.M.
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Driving with my two young boys to a funeral, I tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the service. But at the gravesite, I discovered my explanations weren't as thorough as I'd thought. In a loud voice, my four-year-old asked, "Mom?" "Yes," I whispered. "What's in the box?" --Ginny Richards
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"What is that sound?" a woman visiting our nature center asked. "It's the frogs trilling for a mate," Patti, the naturalist, explained. "We have a pair in the science room. But they've been together for so long, they no longer sing to each other." The woman nodded sympathetically. "The trill is gone." --KathyJo Townson
Bwahahaha 😆
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Anytime companies merge, employees worry about layoffs. When the company I work for was bought, I was no exception. My fears seemed justified when a photo of the newly merged staff appeared on the company's website with the following words underneath: "Updated daily." --Dianne Stevens One for the Road
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