Gas lighting- Looking for information

[Lily541]

I found some sites on this but most seem to talk abut situations where the spouse has an affair and distorts reality.
If anyone has any sites or information about gaslighting on a much larger scale, I would really appreciate it.

I mean, for example, how a man can convince 3 witness, who know for sure what they saw, that his version is correct and they are all wrong.
If he put an apple on the table, we all see it and know it's an apple; How does he eventually come to convince us it was an orange and we were all mistaken?

How does he convince the psychiatrists even that it really is all of us and we are mistaken?
Why would he do it?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Here's a few you may or may not have seen:

Gaslighting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life

Are you being Gaslighted? | Psychology Today

The Sad Art of Gaslighting ? Laurie Kendrick

What Is Gaslighting? : The Gaslight Effect

Gaslighting - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

What is Gaslighting?: A Form of Emotional Abuse Not Easily Recognized

Gaslighting - An Abuser's Favorite Tactic - NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

Gaslighting

Borderlines Can Make You Feel Insane Via “Gaslighting” | angiEmedia

Sanctuary for the Abused: Gaslighting

Narcissist Victims Syndrome Survivors Discussion: Are you the Victim of Gaslighting? A test - DailyStrength​

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

lol Wow, after reading through a few of those links, it sure explains why I'm almost always second-guessing myself and not very confident about things! I think part of it stems from I oughta/gotta know things and do things right, or else that means I'm dumb - not true, and logically I know that... Just the emotional part of me has to embrace that, too. Gotta be a little less worried about making mistakes, or what it looks like to other people. I should trust my instincts a little more, and do things on my own, and if I'm wrong I will learn from it. And they'll be my own mistakes that I can't blame on anyone else! :tapfingers: I suppose if I ever doubted that I was in a gaslighting relationship with my mom, the proof lies in how insecure I feel about a lot of things and how I feel now (when I don't have my mom in my life as much) as opposed to before (when I was growing up and spent more time with mom as an adult).

 

[David Baxter PhD]

they'll be my own mistakes that I can't blame on anyone else!

There's always a way to blame it on someone else. You just need a little effort and ingenuity.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

lol Oh yeah, I hear you.

I mean I'm not always 100% of the time willing to take the blame even when it is my fault (does everyone else?), but usually internally when I know something is my fault, I occasionally outwardly try to shift the blame... But unlike my mother I am aware that I am really the guilty one. It's easier to shift the blame on someone else when I am always asking for help because I doubt myself. So if I make my own decisions, I would have to take more responsibility for things I make mistakes on, because I can't say that I was told to do it. The onus is on me.

On the other hand, sometimes I am so scared to do something without asking someone else if my choice is the 'correct' one. It's usually specifically at work though that I don't behave in a confident manner. I have a teaching degree, and the majority of my co-workers have some kind of technical background. I just happened to get hired previously at a different call centre with lower standards and had lots of customer service experience, and went through a series of interviews and online testing to get this present job. I feel a bit fake at this better higher-paying job at a call centre in a crown corporation. My intention was to get a job with cell phone support, but they said I had to learn another skillset first that was more in demand and then I could see about getting to cell phone support.

Do I really know what I'm doing? Is everyone else doing better than me? Should I ask for more training? Can I get someone to help by listening to my calls? Am I a pain in the butt when I ask so many questions? Am I a strain on resources (do I call our internal support too often and cause everyone else trying to get through to them to have to wait? if I get extra training am I going to annoy someone and take a trainer away from someone else?).... And stats, man I hate stats. Are my calls too long? Am I using troubleshooting steps out of order? Is my customer going to call back because I didn't tell them everything they needed to know? Did I take my break on time? Did I do my After-Call-Work quickly enough. In comparison do everyone else on the floor, do I suck?

I'm trying to find a job in the same company, as there are plenty there to choose from. Counseling services, curriculum writing... I really need to get off those phones and get something in more my comfort level. I was first trained on landline phone repair support (that was the easiest), and more recently went into internet and TV support, and now I am keeping my internet support and switching from TV support to wireless support. Someone told me that I have so many skillsets they wondered if I would like to train next in janitorial services so then I could have everything. lol When I talk to my manager, he tries to encourage me to look for other positions as well, but I can't tell if it's because he's looking out for me or if I suck so bad at my job that they want me the heck outta there.... This is the 3rd manager whose tried to 'encourage' me to get out of the call centre environment, citing that it's too stressful to be on the floor more than a couple of years (perhaps too many people are on Extended Sick Leave). I dunno, I have like 90% call quality, and not too bad call-backs from customers. Wireless customers aren't as insane as people who can't work their TV sets and are more laid-back, so in theory this job should be less stressful than the one I had previously.

---------- Post added at 08:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:11 PM ----------

Man. I sure whine a lot. I like it better when people tell me their problems, because at least with a Narcissistic parent, I was well-groomed/trained on how to listen, watch facial expression/body language and anticipate people's needs!!

 

[David Baxter PhD]

"Whining" isn't against the rules here... only we call it "venting".