Good lyrics for those trying...

[kelsischanging]

My sister got me this Carrie Underwood CD that I wanted for Christmas and when I turned it on and heard the first song I was like oh my gosh I can't believe how much this applies to my life...see tomorrow I start drug/alcohol rehab....anyway I have been listening to this song and cd all day it's amazing....

Wasted
Standing at the back door
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hard wood
It fell like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it

For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Another glass of whisky but it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.

Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

She kept drivin' along
Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side
He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear
For the first time in a while

(chorus)

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Music can be amazing that way - you hear a song written by someone you've never met who's never even heard of you or your life and it strikes right through all the fog and mystery right to your soul, as if it was written for you and about you.

I've had that happen more than once in my life...

Good luck with your program, kels.

 

[Eunoia]

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

that's so true, it applies to a lot of things... best of luck w/ everything Kels... it's a long road, but you've made it through other things and you'll make it through this. keep us posted...

 

[ThatLady]

You're to be admired for making this effort to turn you life around, kels. The very best of luck to you!

 

[hugsy]

music, books, poems, people...there are many things that touch the soul.
good luck to you kels
keep finding those things that inspire you. they will help you when the road gets tough.

 

[kelsischanging]

thank you all so much for the encourgement...my mom keeps telling me that i'll just get over this and then i'll move on to the next self destructive action...she doesn't believe that I can get my life in order so thank you for encourgement...it made me smile!

 

[ThatLady]

Of course, you can do this, kels! We can do anything we truly set our minds to do. I believe in you, hon. Now, you just keep believing in you.

 

[Eunoia]

kels, that's too bad your mom thinks she's being supportive in saying those things... the point is, you can always "move on" to some other destructive coping mechanism, but that's nothing new... what you can do is learn ways to try and prevent exactly that from happening. you've been through your share of things and you've made it through, so maybe these things were your way of dealing w/ other things... just remember that it's not like you enjoy going from one thing to the next, I don't think anyone ever sits down as says, "now, let's see, what else can I do to be self-destructive and hurt myself & others?"- it's not that clear cut. sure, you may want to be self-destructive but that's a totally different thing. your mom clearly hasn't understood that yet and many people don't.... they think we can just wake up one day and stop... everyone makes mistakes though, everyone tries to deal in one way or another... and as bad as all of those things have been I think it gave you a greater understanding of people's struggles and your own strengths and weaknesses. keep fighting b/c you have a lot more to look forward to- good things. )

 

[kelsischanging]

Hi, I just wanted to give an update...I have finished my first week of groups and couseling...I haven't used or drank since Christmas Eve which means that I am w/drawling from the drugs really badly so things have been really hard from that angle...on the other side I really like two of the three groups that I'm in...the one group is a dual diagnosis group b/c I have problems w/ addiction and have been diagnosed w/ major depressive disorder recurrent...this is probably one of the most important groups for me b/c some of the reasons that I turned to alcohol and drugs was b/c of depression....the other group I really like is the women's group b/c there are things you can talk about w/ just women that you can't talk about w/ guys...sorry guys you just woulnd't understand : ) the other group I'm in is like a very structered education group and I don't really like the set up of the group or the guy who runs it but I will stick w/ it...also I'm going to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings once a week w/ some of the girls from the women's group...even though I feel like I've been hit by a mac truck b/c of detoxing I really feel like I'm going to make it through this and be successful w/ treatment...I also think that this is going to help me w/ other issues like SI and no self esteem and other stuff....for the first time in about a year I finally have a little bit of hope and that's enough for me right now to keep going....

 

[Cat Dancer]

That is great! I wish you all the best. Keep that hope alive in your heart.

 

[Diana]

Everything you're doing right now is experience and progress. All of the pain, the class you don't like, feeling overwhelmed - in the end it will teach you things and help you to know yourself better. And the stuff you do like, great! Use it all to your advantage. You're just at the beginning now. Things will get better. Undoubtedly, you'll make mistakes along your journey. Don't let those thing discourage you. I really admire you for your efforts. The best of luck to you, and keep us posted.

 

[ThatLady]

Kels, I can't tell you how proud I am of you! Your self esteem should be skyrocketing right now, since you're really working hard on yourself! Give yourself a pat on the back, luv. You deserve it!