Has too much passed to move on?

[hiddenblueeyez]

A lot has happened in the last two - three months and with Christmas right around the corner I can't do it anymore.

A couple of months ago my father in law passed away and everything since then has all gone to hell, or maybe just made me open up my eyes and see what was really going on in my life. My father in law and I were close, I used to bring my son to see him 4 or 5 times and week and it kills so much every time I pass his apartment, but because of all the stress of his death and planning the funeral and trying to figure out how to pay for the funeral I ended up miscarrying a child I was looking forward to, and putting so much hope in. And its like ever since that moment my entire life has come crashing down on me.

My husband and I have been fighting non stop, its ether screaming or silence with no in between. And he for the first time in our relationship hit me last week. I know its probably stress as we've had our fare share, but with the funeral I've missed so much work that paying for the funeral alone has killed us and now with Christmas I can't even afford to buy any presents for my little boy or anything, and I hate that thought but I know its not supposed to be important, its family that matter, right? Well... as it turns out, My mother has invited my entire family to go stay with them for Christmas, including my son.

Shes asked that I not come though as with all I am going though I'll just make it harder on everyone. My husband is going to his brothers for the holidays to which I am not invited. His brother and I used to be best friends and dated a bit before my husband and I got together. We are still best friends but my husband won't let us talk to each other, so any family gathering I'm excluded from, only this year it will be three full days of Christmas.

So with all that's going on, and my husband being unable to talk to me, or even function in any basic manor besides chasing our son or me down to scream at, everything has been left on my shoulders and I have no where left to turn to for support, and I'm so lost and afraid that I don't know if I can over come this time.

I'm so afraid for myself, and afraid of slipping back into old habits that I've tried so hard to kick. I don't know what to do.

But who do you turn to when your all alone?

 

[Retired]

Re: has to much passed to move on from?

Do you have any family or close friend in whom you can confide in order to get some support?

What about your family physician or spiritual advisor?

Would you say that your husband is having difficulty coping with the loss of his father?

How would you characterize your relationship with your husband?

 

[ladylore]

Re: has to much passed to move on from?

Or how about a woman's centre. Many areas have one and some are even drop-in.

 

[Sparrow]

Hello hidden one,

But who do you turn to when your all alone?

Right away given what you posted, I think of womens support groups (you beat me to the punch LL).
I believe there is also a CMHA chapter in T-bay. I agree with TSOW also.
It's really important you don't feel alone, or are alone. Find someone your comfortable with to talk to. A friend, a co-worker? a doctor? a social worker? There's got be somebody up there and there is hidden one.
This forum is here too! :support: to you.

 

[hiddenblueeyez]

To answer your questions TWSO, um I have a lot of friends, non of which I could ever turn to with this. The few that made it though my dark days with me are to fearfull to ever see them again and i never want to put there again, exsept my husbands brother but he's obviously off limits. I don't have a family doctor or anything like that, um and yes I would say that he is having a very hard time coping with his fathers death. He's not coping actugly, at all. And as much as I mention talking to me, or his brother or friends or even a councler, he just keeps saying that he's fine. And with us.. um, I guess they havn't been great for a while now, but he's never gotten this bad before, ever.

and Sparrow, I've never heard of CMHA, but thank you, I'll ckeck it out.