Have you ever witnessed a death?

[sunset]

Thatlady.. I really like what you have written and I think you said it perfectly. I often think about people I have lost, and reflect on what they have left behind. I have tons of memories to fall back on and I do fall back on them.. many times. People may be gone, but they are not forgotten, and will always remain in my heart.
It still hurts, but its manageable.

I applaud you for what you do as a hospice director. I imagine it is a very tough job, but thank GOD you do it, because we need people like you.

 

[chell]

l lost my daughter and a part of me died with her, and although l had to accept it and go on for the sake of my other two children, it has been very hard at times.

She died at Christmas and l have never been able to celebrate Holidays since.

Michelle

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I lost a daughter just before Christmas, too, Michelle.

 

[ThatLady]

When the loss of a loved one occurs around a holiday (even if it's a family holiday, such as a birthday, or anniversary), it's often more difficult to get past connecting the holiday with the loss. This is something I often encounter, and it takes longer (for most people) to realize that the two events are not connected in a bad way. The holiday, which should be a joyous occasion, is connected in our minds to a sad event - the event of loss.

For Christian people, a loss near Christmas time is doubly difficult. It's connected with the loss of our loved one and with the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. Christians want to celebrate the birth of their Lord, but it's hard when one connects that birth with the loss of someone very close. It can be done, but it requires effort over time to change one's thinking.

Jesus came to this world, according to Christian belief, to relieve humanity of the burden of sin. For Christians, death takes us to the arms of that all-forgiving Lord. If we really try, over time we can come to realize that our loved one is in those arms, looking down upon us with love, and hope, and encouragement. Two sets of eyes gaze down upon us, and two sets of arms are there to embrace us when our time comes. Let that comfort be yours.

For those who are not Christian, if you will but look around you at the happy faces, the colorful decorations, and the sense of excitement and togetherness that permeates that time, it can be helpful. Watch the child whose eyes light up when he/she sees Santa Claus. Watch the parents seek just the right gift to cause those eyes to light up again when that gift is opened beside the brightly glowing Christmas tree, or at Chanuka time. While your loved one may not be there in body, with all the love, hope and happiness surrounding you, believe me your loved one is with you in spirit. They exist always in your heart and are there with you whenever you need them. Just reach inside and touch them. They're waiting there for you.

You'll never forget. You'll always wish it could have been otherwise. However, if you really try, you can find joy in the fact that this person was a part of your life, even if only for a short time. They had something to share with you - something to give you. What was it? If you search your heart, you'll know.

:hug:

 

[NightOwl]

Yes, after sitting with my Mother in hospital with a coma for several days. I held her hand while she peacefully slipped away. Some years later, I sat for several days with my Father, while he was in a coma. I had just gone home for some much needed sleep and was about to go back to the hospital when I had a phone call telling me he had gone: I found that more traumatic that I'd missed him. Also I had to hold my little dog while she was peacefully helped on due to her bad illness.

I'm glad at least that I was with them at that time, even though it was traumatic.

NightOwl

 

[chell]

l have always felt guilty that my daughter died and l lived. l have never been able to get over that and to this day l cannot be around new borns nor can l watch any TV shows about Deliveries, Maternity shows, etc. l just feel so sick inside and l cannot stop crying. l have always questioned myself "what if" and that is the worst part of it all because that never goes away and l feel like l failed her. lt was my two older children who kept me going through the rough years.
Michelle

 

[Into The Light]

i am sorry to hear of your losses. chelles did your daughter die at birth?

 

[wren1187]

Kids have an amazing ability to just go on with their day for some reason. Now if I saw this when I was a lot older, I dont know how I would have reacted...

I'm not sure about that. I haven't ever witnessed any human dying, though my aunt died last Christmas and that entire holiday season was hell between hospital visits and arguments over custody of my cousin and arguments over keeping her alive on life support. It happened recently, but it wasn't traumatic. It was the story of my family. Whenever they all get together it's hell.

But when I was 6 years old I was an only child on a busy street and my chihuahua and best friend was {killed} by a big dog before my eyes while I watched helplessly after a warning bite scared me off. It took me years to be able to go back to the memory without it hurting and I have been squeamish of blood ever since. I thought i was over it, but just last Easter I overreacted to a situation where I lost control of a situation and that memory came flooding back with all the feelings of guilt and physical details except the blood. For some reason I can remember every detail including {graphic details removed}. It still haunts me even though I thought I was over it. Shrug... waiting for time to finish healing I guess.

 

[miromir]

I was 10 years old and I was beaten in a car incident. I was almost to death. Thank to divine I survived.

 

[deanac24]

I watched my mom die of cancer. I was only 8 so I dont remember much of it. I dont think it has really impacted me at all in my life. I think maybe I was just too young at the time.

 

[Auburn]

through-these-eyes

I too have witnessed a suicide, and I understand what you mean. It has only been two years for me, and I am, as of late, struggling. As is my husband. If you ever want to talk about it, please know I am here, and as sad as it sounds, you would understand me better than most I think.

 

[bbjjre]

My father died at home two weeks ago from leukemia. He wanted to die at home. I never want to see anyone I love die again. It was a traumatizing ordeal.

 

[Into The Light]

i am sorry for your loss bbjjre.