Having a really bad day

[Freckles]

My OCD mainly focuses on my spouse and for the past few days I've really been trying hard to avoid bugging him. Today he and the kids were about to go to his dad's and I asked "Could you try to come home early?" Last time they went they stayed gone until late and because they always play outside I have to worry about giving them all their bath when they come home which leads to me having to stay up late (we also have a newborn that I have to get in bed at a decent hour.)

For some reason he took this as an OCD question and said "You never try!" This made me feel really bad because I am REALLY trying hard this week to stay on track. It really felt like he put down my efforts. I know he can't understand how hard it is to simply not seek reassurance because he does not have OCD - so to know that within myself I'm struggling so hard yet refraining and then he says "You're not trying." It really hurt me.

In addition he swears up and down that anyone can control their own thoughts. He pretty much thinks OCD is a joke. His best friend has it but his obsession is handwashing so he can't understand the reassurance thing. He says he doesn't care what my therapist says - he doesn't believe that this is a mental problem and believes I can control everything. I'm sitting here crying and could really use some encouragement.

 

[Murray]

Freckles, I am so sorry to hear that your husband doesn't understand what you are going through. It is so hard to have to struggle with these OCD issues. A lot of people don't believe that OCD is a real problem and even if they do, they tend to only think about the people who wash their hands a lot or repeat actions over and over. I think that it is harder for others to know what you are battling when it is just thoughts in your head, not an activity. If someone has never had to deal with intrusive thoughts, or obsessions then I would imagine that it would be difficult for them to understand what it is really like. Can you husband talk to your therapist to maybe gain a better understanding of what you are dealing with? I hope you feel better soon. Try to get some rest, which if you have a newborn much be a struggle.

 

[forgetmenot]

It is hard when you partner the one that is suppose to understand does not. It hurts deeply.
Can you get your husband to perhaps talk with your therapist to get councilling on how to be more supportive and helpful to you.
You had a valid point in asking him to have the kids home early especially with a new born to look after
Maybe if you get a professional talking to him he would understand more better and be able to support you more.
Try to rest if you can while they are gone if the little one lets you as rest will help you cope better take care okay
I feel the pain you must be in and i am sorry he doesn't see your efforts,

 

[Cat Dancer]

I have OCD. I am so sorry he has difficulty trying to understand or at least trying to be kind about it. I think the idea of taking him with you to counseling is good. What you are dealing with is very real and it's very hard. What I try to do is not let what other people think affect me so much. I tell myself not understanding is their issue. It would be really nice though if he would not make those kinds of comments though. :hug:

 

[SoSo]

Freckles, sorry it is so hurtful and even if a person didn't have OCD, it would be hurtful. We want and need our loved ones to recognize our struggles and accomplishments, no matter how insignificant it may seem to others, it is a big thing for us. I hope like the others said your husband will talk to a professional about how best to help and support you. One of my children has OCD and I know what a struggle it has been all his life and you know what...I am darn proud of him, no matter what. He works night shift, pays his own rent, looks after himself as best he can, etc etc and I am proud he is my son. I agree with what Cat Dancer said, not understanding is their issue. Hopefully, he will understand someday. Hang in and keep trying, for yourself, cause your worth it like the commercial says and it is true.
:support:SoSo

 

[Freckles]

Thank you everyone for cheering me up. Sorry it took me so long to reply with all the great big thanks deserved. We have a newborn and while I can read hands free I can't always reply as quickly as I'd like.

You all made me feel so supported and I don't feel so alone anymore. You all rock!

BIG THANKS! :O)