Hi,
I'm glad I found this forum.
I'm a 46 year old single gay male. Since my father died of mesothelioma (asbestos cancer) a couple of years ago, I've been dealing with depression off and on. Fortunately, my will to live has significantly strengthened, and I haven't seriously considered suicide in quite some time.
But right now I feel the summer blahs. For some reason, summer has always been a time of loneliness and isolation for me. As a child, I was terrified of water and never learned to swim. But just about every other kid that I knew was happy in the water and making good progress with swimming.
That was one my first experiences of feeling different and feeling that there was something wrong with me - something wrong with only me while every one else was normal. In gymn class I was always the last kid picked for any team.
Twice I failed the physical fitness test. I grew up feeling quite disconnected from my physical body. Again, I didn't feel like a normal boy. While the other boys on the street were outdoors playing ball, I was lying on the sofa lost in my daydreams.
I did see a couple of different therapists in the past for a short while.
But right now I'm unemployed and cannot afford it. But I'm happy to say that I have some insights into my personal issues - at least, that's my opinion. Also, I've taken up Ch'i Kung exercises - Chinese exercises similar to Tai Chi. This has helped me feel more connected to my physical body.
I'm glad I found this forum.
I'm a 46 year old single gay male. Since my father died of mesothelioma (asbestos cancer) a couple of years ago, I've been dealing with depression off and on. Fortunately, my will to live has significantly strengthened, and I haven't seriously considered suicide in quite some time.
But right now I feel the summer blahs. For some reason, summer has always been a time of loneliness and isolation for me. As a child, I was terrified of water and never learned to swim. But just about every other kid that I knew was happy in the water and making good progress with swimming.
That was one my first experiences of feeling different and feeling that there was something wrong with me - something wrong with only me while every one else was normal. In gymn class I was always the last kid picked for any team.
Twice I failed the physical fitness test. I grew up feeling quite disconnected from my physical body. Again, I didn't feel like a normal boy. While the other boys on the street were outdoors playing ball, I was lying on the sofa lost in my daydreams.
I did see a couple of different therapists in the past for a short while.
But right now I'm unemployed and cannot afford it. But I'm happy to say that I have some insights into my personal issues - at least, that's my opinion. Also, I've taken up Ch'i Kung exercises - Chinese exercises similar to Tai Chi. This has helped me feel more connected to my physical body.
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