I am Tammy. I just joined here.
I have had various degrees of Mental Illness now for 12 years. :juggle: Been on Luvox, Paxil, Prozac and currently on Effexor XR. Also had a cocktail for a while with the Prozac and Risperidal, then changed to Effexor XR with Risperidal. I am currently not on Risperidal.
For my panic attacks and anxiety I take as needed, Clonasipam. I was so thankful to get relief from the panic attacks with the introduction of Clonasipam.
My doctors have concuded that my symptoms and illness are a result of post tramatic that was not treated. The first situation I was 20, I had no idea that trama could cause mental illness and that I should see my doctor.
Over the course of the past 6 years, my condition has been worsening. Due to other tramatic incidents.
I kinda feel like I am slowing down. I can't seem to function well with "normal" sleeping patterns. I am not sure if this is a good thing, but I am excepting this as a part of me.
I am a good person, kind, caring and do my best. Unfortunetly as of lately, my best isn't quite good enough for my employer. My attendance record is very bad now. Has been for over a year.
They have sent a letter to my Psychiatrist to attempt to accomodate me, which has just resulted in me becoming more afraid at work. 2 of the 3 trama incidents related to my "conditon" happened at work.
The majority of the part-time staff and my senior managers are very supportive of me. But my "equal" employees are quite different with me. I know they stay bad things about me, the people who highly respect me have told me and I have heard there is quite the defence for me by some of them.
It is great to have the part-timers support, but unfortunetly they are not there all the time. So I am mostly left to deal with ignorant people, who have no understanding or respect for me as a person.
I have currently gone on sick leave from work. Been off since September 15, 2008 (Still waiting on EI, but that is another story
)
The last work related trama was on Halloween of last year. Maybe there are subcontious triggers? The doctors seem to think so.
Trying to sleep at night knowing I am going into work the next day, I can't sleep or calm down, even with Clonisipam. Awaking in the morning, I am terrified.
I have never felt the terror like I felt before going off work. It felt like I was trying to climb a 20 foot wall to get somewhere I was afraid to go. I would exhaust myself with fear within the first half hour of waking up. Then top it off with having to call work, studdering and crying to say I wasn't able to come in. Knowing on the other end, after I hung up they would say "Guess who isn't coming in AGAIN"
Since being off, I am going at my own pace. Doing things I never had time for. Between work, sleep, work, sleep. I never found any time for doing things for me. These things are not extras, they are things most people do for themselves, like getting their hair cut, going to the dentist, seeing friends etc.
Luckily those "terrors" have subsided with not going to work. I don't get that spun out feeling like there is no way out but to die.
Thank you for listening to my story. I hope here I can learn more coping skills as well as share some of mine.
I have had various degrees of Mental Illness now for 12 years. :juggle: Been on Luvox, Paxil, Prozac and currently on Effexor XR. Also had a cocktail for a while with the Prozac and Risperidal, then changed to Effexor XR with Risperidal. I am currently not on Risperidal.
For my panic attacks and anxiety I take as needed, Clonasipam. I was so thankful to get relief from the panic attacks with the introduction of Clonasipam.
My doctors have concuded that my symptoms and illness are a result of post tramatic that was not treated. The first situation I was 20, I had no idea that trama could cause mental illness and that I should see my doctor.
Over the course of the past 6 years, my condition has been worsening. Due to other tramatic incidents.
I kinda feel like I am slowing down. I can't seem to function well with "normal" sleeping patterns. I am not sure if this is a good thing, but I am excepting this as a part of me.
I am a good person, kind, caring and do my best. Unfortunetly as of lately, my best isn't quite good enough for my employer. My attendance record is very bad now. Has been for over a year.
They have sent a letter to my Psychiatrist to attempt to accomodate me, which has just resulted in me becoming more afraid at work. 2 of the 3 trama incidents related to my "conditon" happened at work.
The majority of the part-time staff and my senior managers are very supportive of me. But my "equal" employees are quite different with me. I know they stay bad things about me, the people who highly respect me have told me and I have heard there is quite the defence for me by some of them.
It is great to have the part-timers support, but unfortunetly they are not there all the time. So I am mostly left to deal with ignorant people, who have no understanding or respect for me as a person.
I have currently gone on sick leave from work. Been off since September 15, 2008 (Still waiting on EI, but that is another story
)The last work related trama was on Halloween of last year. Maybe there are subcontious triggers? The doctors seem to think so.
Trying to sleep at night knowing I am going into work the next day, I can't sleep or calm down, even with Clonisipam. Awaking in the morning, I am terrified.
I have never felt the terror like I felt before going off work. It felt like I was trying to climb a 20 foot wall to get somewhere I was afraid to go. I would exhaust myself with fear within the first half hour of waking up. Then top it off with having to call work, studdering and crying to say I wasn't able to come in. Knowing on the other end, after I hung up they would say "Guess who isn't coming in AGAIN"
Since being off, I am going at my own pace. Doing things I never had time for. Between work, sleep, work, sleep. I never found any time for doing things for me. These things are not extras, they are things most people do for themselves, like getting their hair cut, going to the dentist, seeing friends etc.
Luckily those "terrors" have subsided with not going to work. I don't get that spun out feeling like there is no way out but to die.
Thank you for listening to my story. I hope here I can learn more coping skills as well as share some of mine.
