Hello...I am sad

[miscille]

Hi there

I am new here and not really sure what to expect. After leaving a second disastrous relationship, I moved 300 miles to take care of my parents. I met someone and shortly after they both passed away.

At the time, I was living in their home, when it was sold, I couldn't find a place, so I moved in with my bf. He, after suffering 2 heart attacks, was living with his parents, helping to take care of them. his father has since passed away. We get along very well, but he is not very huggy or anything. I want more from him, he says he can't because of the meds he is on. I do alot for him and his kids. Now I have nowhere to go and feel he is not putting the effort in that I am.

My daughter lives in Australia, son in college, I have one brother who believes I am useless. I also lost my job and can't find work.....what can I do, I am stuck here but I can't stand the way things are. We have talked, he says its all in my head. He does go out rarely but I have never met his friends and he is a little dodgy with details.

I think maybe I am being used but lack the strength and money to move on. I also have fibromyaliga....reading all this back, maybe I should just be a soap opera. Help

 

[Daniel E.]

:welcome2: Miscille.

I want more from him, he says he can't because of the meds he is on.

Can you be more specific, e.g. what kind of meds? Are they antidepressants?

 

[NicNak]

:hithere: Miscille :welcome: to Psychlinks!

Lots of great and understanding people here.

Glad you joined us

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Welcome to Psychlinks, miscille.

It seems to me you need to narrow down your focus a bit. Dealing with all of that at once would be overwhelming to anyone.

You say that you get along very well. I certainly get that you're not happoy in that relationship the way things are but that's not at a crisis point, at least not yet, correct? Perhaps focusing on the financial side of things would be a good starting point. I know the employment situation in many places isn't great right now. Are you eligible for unemployment insurance? social assistance? disability?

 

[miscille]

no, for his cholestral, angina, sleeping pills, stomach, some of the side effects are loss of sex drive, among other things

---------- Post added at 11:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:46 PM ----------

my UIC has run out, my brother is withholding my part of my parents estate that I am entitled to, he says I am unworthy, its over 2 years and the lawyer still says he cant close the estate, but wont tell me why....I am not the executor. I should also say that I have been physically abused once, and verbally abused all my life...family, ex husband, exbf, was told I wasnt pretty enough to be seen with in public, more than once. Is it possible that I have created my own problems in this relationship by being too needy? I am a giving person at heart but have no comfidence

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't kniow, miscille. Perhaps you and your boyfriend could see a counsellor together to explore this?

 

[miscille]

Thank you for your time...he has a BA in phychology and talks circles around me whenever we talk, as long as the relationship is not mentioned, we are fine. He has suffered from depression in the past but is very strong now, perhaps that is why he loosing patience with me. I know I will find a way out, its just when and how, and what will the price be this time.

Thank you, it all seems trivial when I read about other peoples problems

 

[David Baxter PhD]

It's not trivial at all. It's what you're struggling with right now.

 

[ladylore]

:welcome2: to Psychlinks.

I wanted to echo what Dr. Baxter has said: what your dealing with isn't trivial. It's what your dealing with.

Glad you found us.

 

[Banned]

Welcome, Miscille.

You'll find quite a supportive community here and we'll help in any way we can. You won't find yourself being judged or your issues thought of as trivial. We all need help in dealing with stuff from time to time, and as Dr. Baxter said, it sounds like you have alot on your plate. Glad you found us.

 

[SoSo]

:welcome2:miscille,
i was in a situation like you are now this past year. i gave up everything to move from ontario back to the east coast. i get there, can't get the proper health care i need, can't sell my art, relationship...well that was a bust.

i decided i had to get back to ontario to take care of my cancer and other health issues, like you have fibromyalgia, etc. so, i give up just about everything again and move back. this time however i am homeless for the first time in my entire life at 62. i went to the salvation army into their shelter. not a pleasant experience and one i hope i never have to repeat but...it is an option for you. once in the shelter i contacted housing and the most wonderful lady in the world answered the phone, got my info, i got into a subsidized rent apt...so there is that option for you. put your name into housing as soon as possible as there can be waiting lists.

i can't advise you on the relationship stuff, only say if it was me in the same situation i would just come right out and ask him where he stands with the relationship and if he can't give you a reasonable reply or isn't willing to commit, go for counceling, i would make sure i had plan B in place, a contact number for the local shelter or an application to housing. also, don't know what area you are in but with having fibro have you applied for disability or assistance.

i wish you all the best, don't lose hope, contact shelters, housing, etc as there are many wonderful people out there who can help. i am so grateful for the help i have received and am hoping in 1-2 years to be back on my feet able to take care of myself once again. hope it will happen for you.
sosoeek:

 

[HBas]

Welcome Miscille,

Welcome to PL

:2thumbs: Good luck with the folling few weeks, I am sure that whatever lead you to ask these questions will drive you to find what's best for you - finding support on PL is a good start towards anything - there are good people here that offer real support!

HB

 

[Jazzey]

Welcome to Psychlinks Miscille

I'm sorry that you're going through all of this. But, as others have already said, I'm happy you found us and I hope that we can be of help to you right now.

 

[why]

Welcome Miscille :hug: