Hello

[saddy]

Hi,
All my life, I've been shy and afraid of rejection. I think that the main reason is that my parents have always been overprotective.

As a child, I really didn't have much friends, and I never invited anybody home. Not to mention that I never had any girlfriend until I graduated college.

Lately, I've been going through a lot. I moved abroad with my wife about 2 years ago. I had a hard time to meet new people, because of my fear of rejection. So I was always counting on her to meet new people or to make the conversation with people visiting. Then she met a guy from work and broke up with me. I felt devasted and started a depression. I then began to see a psychologist and it helped me a lot. I got very confident for months, subscribing to online dating, going to lots of activities and meeting new people. I also met my current girlfriend.

But now I feel scared again. I realize I still don't have much friends. I actually never invited anybody at my place, because I know that I would have to be the entertainer, and that people might get bored and feel like it's lame being with me. I stopped subscribing to activities so I haven't met many people lately. And I'm also scared that my girlfriend might break up with me and that I will end up being alone for the rest of my life. Yes, I still have lots of issues... and I don't know what to do to feel good again.

That's why I hope you can help me...

 

[NicNak]

:hithere: Saddy. :welcome: to Psychlinks! Glad you joined us

 

[Banned]

Hi Saddy,

Welcome to Psychlinks.

A couple things come to mind in reading your post. Are you able to go back to either the same psychologist or a different one? It sounds like you feel sad, as you say, but possibly depressed too. A pscyhologist can help you sort out those feelings and get back on track and feeling good again.

I too am pretty shy and introverted. I don't typically have people over or go out, aside from work for basically the same reasons you stated.

What I found has helped though are Meetup groups. If you go to meetup.com and select your city and interests, you may find a group you might be interested in joining. I like these groups because they are non-commital, very laid back, and when you go, you are meeting people with similar interests so right off the bat you have something to talk about. I even run a dog agility one so I can try to meet other people.

Looking forward to seeing you around.

 

[Andy]

Welcome Saddy:beer2:

 

[Fiver]

Saddy, you've found a board of support and acceptance, and more than just a little bit of wisdom. Welcome. I mean that sincerely.

 

[Jackie]

Welcome

 

[forgetmenot]

Hey glad you reached out for some support. :support:

 

[why]

:wave: Hello and welcome saddy.

 

[saddy]

Thank you all for your support. It really feels good.

Well, I don't know if I'm still depressed. I feel like I am but it looks like I began to feel this way just after stopping taking anti depressant (yes, after the break up, I've taking anti depressant for 6 months) so maybe it's just the way it's supposed to be... I mean, I cannot take pills all my life, right? And it's not always bad, sometimes I feel very happy. It's just that overall, my mood is getting down and down. Actually, right now, I feel like I want to cry... because I feel alone and sad.

After my depression, I went back to see the psychologist, but it looked like I had nothing to tell him. I was just feeling anxious. And actually, the consultation didn't help me.

And this weekend was quite bad. It was halloween and I felt like everybody were going to party, but I just wasn't invited anywhere. And 4 of my friends had planned to see each other on saturday without inviting me... I really felt bad about it, even though they may have had their own reason...

And finally, I decided on saturday to go on weekend with my girlfriend, mostly because I didn't want her to see me as a looser with no friends.

I also because I had tried to organize a beach volley party on sunday, but since 4 of my friends were already somewhere else, I felt that it wouldn't be as fun with the others who said yes. Moreover, I would have to be the organizer and that was making me feel unconfortable. So I finally chose to escape, and I know doing this is not helping... but I just couldn't face it...

 

[unionmary]

your moods may all be quite natural,,,no disorder involved? hope so,,,we are tooo quick to figure we are mood disordered and hope a pill is gonna fix us. Trust me, after many pills, I know that is not the best answer. when you quit a drug, you are gonna feel adverse reactions, of course. Hang in,,,,be yourself, all will work out!