Hello

[lostintheabyss]

Hello - I'm new here. I guess maybe I just needed to start somewhere.

I'm a 27 year old male who has spent almost all of his life in some form of mental health care except for the last few years. After removing myself from the last run in with doctors I have distanced myself from anything even close to a doctor. I guess it just feels good to vent.

I guess what brings me here is I don't know what's wrong.. the doctors would never tell me.. just more pills. Valium, Seroquel - just pile em on and see what happens. Ever since I was younger I could never keep a job. Always get fired or I quit. Anyway after trying to make something of myself by going back to school and getting somewhat of an education, I landed a job and began working except my age old problem returned: I was unable to hold it down. Just like the rest of my life.

Having no where else to turn I began taking my medication again and had to inform my employer of what was going on. Well it didnt take with much gusto. I won.t get into my problems at the moment but lets just say I ended up losing my job over all of it.

I guess I'm here to return to my road of coping with things.

The more I think about, the worse my headache gets so I'll leave it at that for now.

Thanks to anyone you will read this and not say what a crazed person.

 

[Jazzey]

Welcome to PL

 

[Andy]

Welcome Lostintheabyss :beer2:

 

[Retired]

Hi Lost,

Hope you can find support and comfort on Psychlinks. What is the diagnosis for which you were being treated?

 

[lostintheabyss]

i was never given one they told me it wasnt important and not to focus on it. the more i read it seems like aspd, but bipolar also fits but im also extremely paranoid. it not that i dont like people, i just get very nervious, always think people are watching me and talking bad about me. this drives me nuts. all i ever got outta one guy who did some testing was Hypervigilance. all i know is that ive been abused all my life. it started with my father. i have so many problems i dont even know where to start. i guess what got me here is that i have bad vivid dreams. most times i just wake up freaked out pouring sweat. last night my dream was so bad... you know when you ask yourself is this a dream wake up now? well that didnt work and it just got worse and worse to the point where i killed myself in my dream.. and then woke up crying? i dont even know where to start any more

 

[Retired]

What medications are you taking at this time, Lost?

 

[lostintheabyss]

its a long story but none at the time, the last ones i was on were seroquil and some type of vallium. but i guess i will say in the last 2 hours i have been talking with family and im seeking help. i have no plan but i need to get the ball rolling one would say. i guess i realise that over all these years i never was better and kept repressing memories of past events. after talking with my mother she has informed me of many times where i was self defeating myself, its like i was so used to me being screwed over and &^$@ed around that i was doing to myself without knowing it. always pointing out and focusing on the worst possible thing that could happen no matter how outlandish it was. i have no plan but just to stop and breathe at the moment. having a mental breakdown is not fun.

 

[forgetmenot]

Welcome to Psychlinks

 

[Melon Collie]

Lost, I can totally relate to what you are saying. I'm new here too but I think we've found a good place to talk about stuff and work on feeling better.

I wish you some pleasant dreams tonight!

Mel,

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi wondering if you have a new doctor now and if you are trying to get on different medications I have nightmares too but do not remember them just parts my husband tells me i say. Let us know how you are doing okay take care

 

[lostintheabyss]

im finally in a program. its been a rough couple of years. im currently starting my seroquel again. so i hope to learn more about myself. i already have... and my findings are scaring me. goes to show you, some never look within.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

That's good to hear, Lost. Please come back and keep us upated on your progress. :2thumbs:

 

[forgetmenot]

Hey i am glad to here you are in a program now and are getting some help. I am sure starting back on your seriqual will help you alot. Thanks for letting us know and hope to hear you are doing better with each day take care