I searched the internet looking for any information on anxiety and trouble speaking and I found this website. I've had this problem for about six or seven years now and I find that it is ruining my life. I'm only 34 years old. I've started a new job recently and my first day was like torture. For some reason when I speak, I clench my jaw, I bite my tongue, and this can happen with anyone, even my own family. I'm terrified now of going to work and of social situations.
Six years ago, I was working at a switchboard job and I was very good at it. I became pregnant and was very excited about it. At four months, I started losing the fluid around the baby. We terminated the pregnancy because I was advised by many doctors that the baby would be born with severe birth defects and/or may not be able to take it's first breath. Well, they messed up the termination and I started passing pieces of my baby (luckily you can't see me right now because I'm crying, always do when I talk about this). Anyway, for some reason, I lost my ability to speak on the phone. I left my job out of embarrasment and started a new job. The speech problem followed me to every job I went. When I'm on the phone it's the worst, but it can happen anywhere at anytime and sometimes last for weeks. Then I'll be okay again for a couple weeks (my confidence will go back up), then it will start happening again and I feel like hiding from the world again. This is like torture! No one understands the emotional pain this is causing me, not even my husband. I try not to talk to him about it because he just tells me to stop thinking about it. I wish I could. I do have two beautiful boys now though, ages 5 and 2. Even now as I'm talking to my son (no one else is even around) I'm biting my tongue (it feels all chewed up).
Thanks for listening.
Six years ago, I was working at a switchboard job and I was very good at it. I became pregnant and was very excited about it. At four months, I started losing the fluid around the baby. We terminated the pregnancy because I was advised by many doctors that the baby would be born with severe birth defects and/or may not be able to take it's first breath. Well, they messed up the termination and I started passing pieces of my baby (luckily you can't see me right now because I'm crying, always do when I talk about this). Anyway, for some reason, I lost my ability to speak on the phone. I left my job out of embarrasment and started a new job. The speech problem followed me to every job I went. When I'm on the phone it's the worst, but it can happen anywhere at anytime and sometimes last for weeks. Then I'll be okay again for a couple weeks (my confidence will go back up), then it will start happening again and I feel like hiding from the world again. This is like torture! No one understands the emotional pain this is causing me, not even my husband. I try not to talk to him about it because he just tells me to stop thinking about it. I wish I could. I do have two beautiful boys now though, ages 5 and 2. Even now as I'm talking to my son (no one else is even around) I'm biting my tongue (it feels all chewed up).
Thanks for listening.
