Hello

[Karri]

Hello to everyone and thank you for the introduction.

I just wanted to introduce myself and explain my reasons for joining. Last evening while doing a search for synthetic marijuana I came across this site and was pleasantly surprised by the information and community. I registered and received my welcome today. My primary reason for joining to is to hopefully find some support and gain some knowledge into what my 19 yr old daughter is going through at this time.

Our nightmare started 2 weeks ago this Saturday. She began to offer up bizarre comments after which she calmly explained to myself and my husband that she was able to communicate with her friends in her head. We have been through psychiatric intake, ER visits and eventually were able to get her admitted to an inpatient treatment facility which was a crisis center. She spent 3 days there, saw a nurse practitioner who started her on low dose Risperdal, 0.5mg at night and Vistaril as needed for anxiety. She was on the Risperdal for 2 days and the night of the 2nd dose called me at home in the middle of the night stating that the man who had been after her had her. She stated that he knew where we lived, was threatening to hurt us and kill our dogs. I immediately called the facility and informed them. By 8:30 that morning she was transferred back to the ER and eventually admitted to the psychiatric ICU. She was moved to the main unit yesterday morning. It has come to our knowledge that she had been smoking synthetic marijuana for about 2 months prior to this as well as some experimentation with hallucinogenics.

I have done alot of research into the synthetic marijuana and have discovered that all of her symptoms are indicative of the side effects of this horrible substance. Unfortunately they are also the symptoms of schizophrenia. She is doing better day by day but the "voices" remain present as of lastnight, though we are back to her speaking with her friends.

I want what is best for her and will do anything I need to help make her life more comfortable and fullfilling. This has been the single most horrible experience of my life, watching my daughter suffer and being able to do nothing to help her.

 

[AmZ]

Welcome

 

[forgetmenot]

i u nderstand so well your pain your fears Please keep getting her the support and help she will need to get stable In time the hospital i hope helps her as well with her addictions It is good she has both her parents act as advocates for her I hope the voices diminish once the drugs get out of her system welcome to PL

 

[Karri]

Thank you for you kind words and welcome. It is greatly appreciated.

 

[Retired]

Welcome to Psychlinks, Karri!

Sorry to hear about your daughter's unfortunate experience and I hope you will find the support and information you need here on the Forum.

 

[busybee]

Hello Kari,
This is a difficult situation you find yourself in. For me it sounds like a record player with the same song just different characters. Our family went through the same thing with our eldest son. We reacted the same way you have done by seeking medical attention, and following what we all know, which is to rely on Doctors for their advice. He was 18 and unbeknown to us had been taking marjuana ( both normal and hydroponic) since he was 14. We never knew.

He chose to go back to taking drugs and had 5 further psychotic episodes between 18 and 30. The stress on the family is enormous as your child whom you nurtured choses a path that you cannot fathom. WE sought medical assistance. We used the tough love. Some say too tough. His father disowned him. At times you can only do what you can do.. and some of the times you have to understand that they need to be accountable for their actions...

I believe that you have unconditional love for your children. You may not LIKE what they do. And we certainly set boundaries........ but they always knew that they were loved. It is a deep sadness in me that my ex husband has disowned our son.

Our son is a loving and forgiving person. He had to chose his own path, beat his own drum and learn his own lessons.
We had to learn that he was an adult. Making decisions as an adult. It was not the blame of our parenting, our marriage, our values and morals. Though they are certainly contributing factors.

Through his experiences with drugs, we learnt things we never wanted to know. Our other 3 children were exposed to things, that I believe should not marr any persons childhood.

The best we can do as parents, is walk beside them, tell them we love them, and hope that they live to tell the tale.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. The road to recovery can be had. He is now 30. He works full time, he can hold down a job. It may not get any better than this. But I love him and am proud of him.

All my sincere hopes for the journey ahead are with you.

B

 

[Karri]

Dear B,
Thank you for sharing your story and best wishes for the future. I understand your wishes for your child completely. My own at this time are simply for her to have an existence free from the torments of her own mind. I know that whatever the future holds we will manage it together and my love for her will never change. She is and always will be my baby. I can hope she is able to live an independent and full filling life on her own but if not. I will always support her in all she does.

She was transferred to a step down facility today. She seems to be adjusting better and more at ease. We met with her counselor today and she really opened up. She remains rather withdrawn and somewhat groggy from the medications but she at least seems free of anxiety and agitation. I don't know anymore what to think, whether this is drug related or perhaps a more serious mental disorder. The voices she refers to hearing and the delusional thoughts she is having all seem to be reality based. The voices are people she actually knows including some of her friends, myself and even one of the therapists she has spoken with. I have to stop trying to think ahead and keep reminding myself to take things as they come.

 

[busybee]

Hi Karri,
My son heard voices during the psychotic episodes (drug related) and confused a lot people that he had met, movies he had watched and conversations he had heard. To him they all seemed real at the time. It is lovely that your daughter has a loving mother to support her during this time and I wish you well on your journey.
B

 

[Karri]

Dear B,
Thank you so much for the encouragement. It came at the perfect time. I had a mini breakdown on the drive home from the treatment center today. I can't keep myself from worrying about her future and whether she will be able to attain an independent life. My husband told me to keep in mind that today was a good day. She engaged more, was smiling and even requested Taco Bell without anyone asking her whether she was hungry. All of which are very positive steps for her. He was right, I keep saying, it is what it is and we will adjust as needed. My greatest fear is that she be diagnosed schizophrenic even though I know that doesn't mean she can't still have an independent life. It just hurts my heart to think of the all the trials she will have to face if it is so. I think right now it's the sedative effects of the medications that are bothering me the most. I know she needs to adjust to the dosages and that dose reductions are not out of the question in the future. I have to just stay positive, if for no one else's sake but for hers.

 

[busybee]

Hi Karri
There is a saying that goes something like this,

Everyone comes into our lives for a reason; a season or a lifetime. The trials that not only your daughter is facing but the ones that will be faced by you, your husband, other siblings have a fallout effect on your lives, your relationships.

Be mindful to nurture both you and your other relationships at this time.

Your daughters road to recovery, is a journey and path, that you can only support from the sidelines. She is going to have to walk the hard yards with your love and guidance as the light. Sometimes the actual diagnosis is not the answer that we need to move forward in our lives. What difference will it be if she is diagnosed with a mental illness, or a drug related psychotic mental illness..

We all want a 'Normal' life but please define 'normal'. The society we live in continues to define a person by their diagnosis as if that defines the person.

I work in aged care, the diagnosis of the person as the " feed' the "shower" the "diabetic" the "bipolar' the "catherter" the "peg feed". This is so dehumanizing. The person within is still the same. My son too was diagnosed as Schizophrenic as a result of drugs, and the doctors believed he would always need to be on 'medication'. He is vulnerable, he is at risk, BUT he is a person, a human being, and he is loved. WE never stop worrying about our children. They will always be our child to nurture. Please dont get hung up on the diagnosis of your daughter. Follow her progress, accept who she is now. Move forward one day at a time. That is all you can do. You are in my thoughts.

B

 

[making_art]

Welcome, Karri!

It's a pleasure to meet you.

 

[Karri]

Dear B,
Your thoughts and insights have given me a whole new outlook. I did alot of rethinking lastnight as well. I keep saying to my husband, it is what it is, but I was really not listening to that myself. You are so right. She is still my same little girl, perhaps with a different set of trials to overcome and deal with. But, she is still my baby and always will be. I know I keep over analyzing and trying to foresee the future which is fruitless. I guess it has a lot to do with what I know and all the new information I keep gathering. I need to stop looking at that and look at what's in front of me. Deal with what comes at us and stop thinking of what might come.

I too work in long term care. I totally related to everything you just stated above. I've seen how we tend to pigeonhole people related to their needs or their problems. I also see the long term effects of the meds and I think that is one of the things that scares me the most. But, in a sense that is a plus on our side as well. I already know the side effects to watch for and can hopefully catch them in time before they become permanent.

Thank you so much for your sharing and passing along your encouragement. I hope all is well with you and yours and know that you are in my thoughts as well.
Karri