hello.
some google searches about odsp led me to this forum so i decided to join.
i have been a part of the forum bluelight.org for a few years, an online harm reduction community. i have 7 years of drug (and relationship) addiction in my past and have been sober (excluding a couple of relapses) for a year now. i think this forum may be a better place for me now, because while bluelight is a great place my current struggles are more about mental illness than about medication and drugs.
i have bad anxiety, insomnia and ocd. and depression as a result of those things. i have had these things for years, but now that i have quit drugs my brain is in overdrive. i am less depressed than i used to be.. i am not numb.. i am alive.. but i am way more anxious now and my anxiety/ocd thoughts have been very bad this past year. so i also sleep very poorly and am exhausted all of the time, and have chronic pain in my shoulders/arms from constant muscle tension.
i have made some progress in this past year (getting a job after my brain was/is re-programming itself has been way harder than i thought) -- but it has been slow and painful. i have a hard time slowing my mind and being able to stop worrying but i try to remind myself to take it one step at a time.
some google searches about odsp led me to this forum so i decided to join.
i have been a part of the forum bluelight.org for a few years, an online harm reduction community. i have 7 years of drug (and relationship) addiction in my past and have been sober (excluding a couple of relapses) for a year now. i think this forum may be a better place for me now, because while bluelight is a great place my current struggles are more about mental illness than about medication and drugs.
i have bad anxiety, insomnia and ocd. and depression as a result of those things. i have had these things for years, but now that i have quit drugs my brain is in overdrive. i am less depressed than i used to be.. i am not numb.. i am alive.. but i am way more anxious now and my anxiety/ocd thoughts have been very bad this past year. so i also sleep very poorly and am exhausted all of the time, and have chronic pain in my shoulders/arms from constant muscle tension.
i have made some progress in this past year (getting a job after my brain was/is re-programming itself has been way harder than i thought) -- but it has been slow and painful. i have a hard time slowing my mind and being able to stop worrying but i try to remind myself to take it one step at a time.
