Hello

[cabijl]

Hello, I joined this forum to learn how to deal with my adult daughter who has Paranoid Personality Disorder. She is moving out of town which I found out from my other daughter. She suddenly refuses to speak to me and I don't know why I have not done anything to instigate this. I have sent her several messages and she has not answered one of them and has blocked me from Facebook because I asked her what was going on. This is really stressing me out and I don't feel that anyone else understands or cares how it is distressing me. I decided to talk to strangers they usually give better advice because they are not personally involved. Which is why I decided to join this forum. Maybe I can gain some insight into the problem. Thanks

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi cabijl welcome to forum.
I am sorry your daughter is pushing you away. I know how much that hurts.
Is she moving out with someone or on her own maybe your other daughter can find that out for you.

Is she under care of a psychiatrist if so maybe you could leave a message stating how concerned you are about the recent changes in your daughters behavior. I get it i do and i understand how distressing it can get.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

How old is your daughter?

 

[gooblax]

Welcome cabijl. I hope you find the sort of advice /info that you need.

 

[cabijl]

My daughter is 44. She is on AISH. She is not seeing a psychiatrist. She is single and moving about 4 hours away. She is fairly self sufficient and is taking meds for her condition. She was in the psych hospital twice once for a month and once for 3 months. She will be moving closer to her sons which I think is great for her. I just don't get why she is so angry at me out of nowhere. She implied to my other daughter that I wanted to declare her incompetent I have never tried to do that so I think she may be delusional or has quit her meds.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

My daughter is 44. She is on AISH. She is not seeing a psychiatrist. She is single and moving about 4 hours away. She is fairly self sufficient and is taking meds for her condition. She was in the psych hospital twice once for a month and once for 3 months. She will be moving closer to her sons which I think is great for her. I just don't get why she is so angry at me out of nowhere. She implied to my other daughter that I wanted to declare her incompetent I have never tried to do that so I think she may be delusional or has quit her meds.

At some point, unless your adult child wants a continued relationship with you, there is nothing you can do to force one. You said that she has been diagnosed with Paranoid Personality Disorder and her beliefs or feelings about you may be influenced by that. But either way, at age 44, unless she has been legally declared to require a guardian and you have been appointed to be that guardian, I don't think there is much that you can do except try to find a way to accept it.

 

[forgetmenot]

I think continue to reach out to her ok she will see your love for her is still there and when she is ready she will reach back to you. I hope that someone is there that she will listen to and trust to help her if she has indeed stopped her meds so they can steer her back towards taking them.

 

[cabijl]

Thanks for your responses. I understand that I have no legal right to make her talk to me. I was looking for advice on how to communicate with her based on her condition if anyone has any experience with that.Thanks again.

 

[forgetmenot]

In communication let her know you will be there for her and that you did not want to declare her as incompetent You want to help her when and if she needs it. Just keep the doors of communication open are you close with your grandchildren do you get to see them often. That connection may help you connect again with you daughter when she sees how much you care for your grandchildren

 

[cabijl]

Thanks, Forgetmenot, I have said all these things to her and told her that I am still available to her. My grandsons are both grown men who are five hours away so no I only see them occasionally, that is where she is going to. I think she may have turned the oldest one against me as well as he did not answer my last message. I don't think he understands at all about her mental illness and that she is on meds. I am afraid that if I tell him the past my daughter may be even more angry at me. I guess all I can do is wait and see and hope it all turns out. Thanks for the help.

 

[forgetmenot]

Your grandsons are adults so i hope they will be able to recognize any negative changes in their mother if she is getting worse they will then reach out to you for help. Sit back and see how things unfold yes but also let them know if they need help that you are there when they need it. Keep us posted ok keep talking here if you need more support too.