quirkycanuck
Member
Hi everyone,
This is my first time in this kind of forum. I have never been diagnosed with any kind of mood disorder, but over the last couple of years it's slowly become obvious to me that I have issues that just can't be fixed by my own methods. I have finally made an appointment next week to talk to my family doctor, which is a first step and I think an important one.
I joined this forum as a way to talk to other people who have mood disorders. The first thing I've realized from reading other people's posts is that there are lots of people out there like me. The second is that there's a language associated with this topic. It's a language I'll need to learn to understand what I'm talking about. People seem to have a lot of knowledge here and a lot of experience.
I guess the first sign that I was having problems was just an avoidance or anxiety at wanting to deal with things. I procrastinate a lot.. and I may tell myself that I always did. It's gotten a lot worse though. It's moved from being a little late with getting things done to being ridiculously late with important tasks that need to get finished. This affects my work, my home life and my relationships with my wife and 3 young children.
Lately, particularly in the last year, I find the stresses of life just really hard. I am always trying to find ways to distract myself to avoid getting things done. I can't stand picking up the phone have a business conversation - especially where money is involved. I have a really hard time coping with the kids sometimes - and that's the thing that hurts me the most. I get very impatient, I have this horrible reflex to want to gain control all the time. Sometimes lately, I can't stand the sound of the baby (she's 2) crying. She gets very cranky sometimes. I'm sure it's because I am and she's just working off me. She's very attached to me. She wants to be with me all the time... but I have lost my energy. I've had days where I just have to hand control over to my wife and then I go spend some time alone. That's not how I want to be at all.. but a couple of times this month I got beyond where I could handle it.
The energy is the worst thing - I find lately I don't have enough energy to get everything done that I need to. I don't have energy to spend time with the kids, to clean house... forget home maintenance. I actually only mowed my yard twice all summer.
I have also become very bad at dealing with conflict. I won't confront anyone about anything. That's a blanket statement but it's so true.. and that means people find it very easy to walk all over me. I can't function as a father and as a true partner to my wife in leading the family because I can't get things done. It disappoints her I know.. it's really easy to see.
I keep trying to find a way to overcome this... I am naturally an optimist about my ability to do better, to be stronger, to pull through any tough situation... but right now I know I need the help. That's why I joined the group and that's why I'm seeking some medical attention.
So that's me in a nutshell.. probably a really long welcome for the welcome forum. I apologize
Cheers all
QuirkyCanuck
This is my first time in this kind of forum. I have never been diagnosed with any kind of mood disorder, but over the last couple of years it's slowly become obvious to me that I have issues that just can't be fixed by my own methods. I have finally made an appointment next week to talk to my family doctor, which is a first step and I think an important one.
I joined this forum as a way to talk to other people who have mood disorders. The first thing I've realized from reading other people's posts is that there are lots of people out there like me. The second is that there's a language associated with this topic. It's a language I'll need to learn to understand what I'm talking about. People seem to have a lot of knowledge here and a lot of experience.
I guess the first sign that I was having problems was just an avoidance or anxiety at wanting to deal with things. I procrastinate a lot.. and I may tell myself that I always did. It's gotten a lot worse though. It's moved from being a little late with getting things done to being ridiculously late with important tasks that need to get finished. This affects my work, my home life and my relationships with my wife and 3 young children.
Lately, particularly in the last year, I find the stresses of life just really hard. I am always trying to find ways to distract myself to avoid getting things done. I can't stand picking up the phone have a business conversation - especially where money is involved. I have a really hard time coping with the kids sometimes - and that's the thing that hurts me the most. I get very impatient, I have this horrible reflex to want to gain control all the time. Sometimes lately, I can't stand the sound of the baby (she's 2) crying. She gets very cranky sometimes. I'm sure it's because I am and she's just working off me. She's very attached to me. She wants to be with me all the time... but I have lost my energy. I've had days where I just have to hand control over to my wife and then I go spend some time alone. That's not how I want to be at all.. but a couple of times this month I got beyond where I could handle it.
The energy is the worst thing - I find lately I don't have enough energy to get everything done that I need to. I don't have energy to spend time with the kids, to clean house... forget home maintenance. I actually only mowed my yard twice all summer.
I have also become very bad at dealing with conflict. I won't confront anyone about anything. That's a blanket statement but it's so true.. and that means people find it very easy to walk all over me. I can't function as a father and as a true partner to my wife in leading the family because I can't get things done. It disappoints her I know.. it's really easy to see.
I keep trying to find a way to overcome this... I am naturally an optimist about my ability to do better, to be stronger, to pull through any tough situation... but right now I know I need the help. That's why I joined the group and that's why I'm seeking some medical attention.
So that's me in a nutshell.. probably a really long welcome for the welcome forum. I apologize
Cheers all
QuirkyCanuck
