How different things seem on Seroquel, or is this my long delayed identity crisis?

[charlene]

It's really amazing how much my mind has cleared. I feel like the slate has been cleaned off, and, to use a metaphor, like a clean install of an operating system on a pc. As a result, I feel like I am having an identity crisis, which I never did have as a teenager. The difference being, I have all these "adult" tools to deal with it. So, it should be easier to establish who "I" am. I think.


My Top Seven differences between me on Seroquel.... and not.

1. Seroquel-Sleep 6-8hr. No seroquel-2-3hr
2. Increased Ti, lower Fe/ especially Fi (MBTI stuff).
3. Less obsessiveness/perfectionism. Leads to more peaceful relationships.
4. Less anxiety.
5. No guilt or feelings of worthlessness.
6. Less overreaction.
7. No hypomania/mixed episode. These are hard to deal with and difficult to extricate oneself.

Still trying to trace back when the bipolar 2 kicked in. I suspect around the age of 13, then I was "normal" until I "broke" again at age 17, then again at 20. After this point it was depressed/hypomanic all the time except for very short breaks of less than 2 weeks. When I was a teenager, the medical profession still thought that depression didn't occur in children or teens. They were very wrong.

 

[Banned]

Hi Charlene,

I'm glad to hear you're having success with the Seroquel. Having the right medication is truly a significant part of the equation.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

like a clean install of an operating system on a pc

I like your analogy.

How do you feel you are having an identity crisis? How does this manifest itself in your case?

 

[charlene]

I like your analogy.

How do you feel you are having an identity crisis? How does this manifest itself in your case?

Without all the destructive, intrusive depression, "missions" when I am hypomanic, my mind is, well, empty. This is different. I feel like parts of what I thought was my identity are gone, but in a good sense. I feel like I am rebuilding my identity, and with that, relationships with people, and worklife. It is a new thing to concentrate on just one thing at a time.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I think I understand... sort of learning who you are as yourself, rather than who you were while being tossed about by mood swings and other symptoms.

 

[charlene]

Yes, that is about right.

 

[charlene]

An epiphany @ 0203hr on the night shift. Not an adolescent identity crisis, but a midlife one. Ha!