More threads by Bo


Hello all;

So, back in November I had the rTMS treatment, and it was a fantastic experience. But now I have a new problem:

How, exactly, am I supposed to deal with my recovery?

As near as I can tell, I became depressed when I was 14. I was diagnosed as in full remission when I was almost 29. So, for all of my adult life, I've never been anything but depressed.

Now I'm learning that I have absolutely NO IDEA how to cope with life. I've never had to deal with the full range of emotions before. I'm a total stranger to myself. I've missed more time at work now then when I was depressed. There are so many days that life seems overwhelming to me, but in a way that's different than when I was depressed.

A good example of this is the weather: I hear that most people get at least a touch of the winter blues this time of the year, but most "normals" just work their way through it. For me, I'm not used to ever being "up", so "down" hits me so much harder. I've spoken to my doctor about this, but he's loathe to diagnose me with SAD at this point. He's very good about telling me that it's going to take time to adjust to the new me. That's great, but how do you explain to an employer that has been incredibly patient with you that you don't have a diagnosable medical problem, you're just going through an extreme identity crisis?

I've met with the company doctor, and he's just so impressed about my recovery that he really failed to see how I might be having problems now. And my therapist has said that I don't really need therapy anymore, because I have the right ideas in my head, and it's just a matter of living that way now.

So... what now? Any advice?


Hi, Bo;
I think it's fantastic that you're way into your recovery. Big kudos to you. I suspect that this stage is quite an adjustment for you to you, to others, to the world, and yes, even the weather. Sometimes adjustments don't come easy, but it doesn't mean that there is a diagnosis for it, but rather, a need to take time to experience events as they come and find the way to cope that is best for you. It's a discovery. It's exciting. Get curious. Ever watched kids when they see or experience something new? They hold still and just let it flow, watching, absorbing, feeling. Give that a try and if possible, take it one day at a time, one experience at a time. As for the "ups" and "downs" happens, to all of us, the trick is not to stay "down" and get back "up". *smiles*
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