How does one stay?

[forgetmenot]

I had closed it the past i had moved on became someone but then the past was drugged up again by dam professionals

they should have left it buried all of it should had been kept buried

thanks i will try to show some forgiveness to myself try to let go of it all i will

Hard to live in the present when the emotions keep being triggered from the past

It is like im there again dam but i know im not there

thanks for your help and for all your post they help too.

i just feel like that nothing that no one again and i hate her i hate feeling like her because im not her not anymore

each day i wake up and i fight to get through it but i don't want to be here anymore i just don't

 

[Mari]

I am not sure closing the past is helpful if you have not first dealt with it, as difficult as that is. It makes me think of closing the door on a messy closet and hoping no-one ever opens it - better to clean it up first. This can be a difficult time of the year - I am definitely struggling and looking for any help I can get. Stay grounded, stay focused, and stay here. Even the snow can be pretty.

 

[forgetmenot]

I am not sure closing the past is helpful if you have not first dealt with it, as difficult as that is. It makes me think of closing the door on a messy closet and hoping no-one ever opens it - better to clean it up first. This can be a difficult time of the year - I am definitely struggling and looking for any help I can get. Stay grounded, stay focused, and stay here. Even the snow can be pretty.

I am sorry you are struggling Mari i hate this time year so much last time i saw my bro i hate this time of year anyways messy closet oh god my aunt always said leave the skeletons in the closet leave them there don't talk and i feel guilty for saying what i have said and i won't say anymore i will try to enjoy my surroundings the snow lots of snow there is went for awalk in it today lots of snow inside my boots lol

Hope you can stay grounded Mari hope you have friends and family to help you stay grounded hugs to you

 

[MHealthJo]

Hugs to you Forgetmenot.

 

[forgetmenot]

i was honest with my gp yesterday i will again try to take med she ordered one at bedtime each night Have to get them first storming here i just wish my mind would let me do this without the battle inside such a battle

 

[Ftbwgil]

Hi There Forgetmenot.....

I also have been afraid to go in the past. Its really scary .... and it brings out feelings that we as children buried... They have to come out but gently..... very gently and very slowly.... The exercise growing down the inner child in this forum has really helped me. If you could find someone to meet once a week that is in a similar situation that would be helpfull to do the exercise with them. What my recovery partner and I found makes the whole difference is the manner in which we deal with things that we opened from the past. The meeting needs to be well structured we will be doing it I figure for the next 3 years or more which is what I mean by gently and slowly...... What also helps is a recovery partner someone you trust not very easy for us eh!!!!!!

Hard to live he present when the emotions keep being triggered from the past

The structure we follow is this

1. We answer a question and the we discuss the emotionand feeling of the past.... we talk about how it makes us feel today
2. We acknowledge that this did happen and a feeling is appropriate with the goal to hand over that feeling to the adult self. At the time we where not in control. It was not our fault. We seek understanding/forgiveness for ourselves and try to do the same for the abuser. It helps to visualize the abusers as wounded children
3. Ths is the most important one CLOSURE we take control today and acknowledge that what happenned was in the past. Its over it does not exist. We say out loud that our choices are to end the pain today and live the now with what it is now.

doing 1 question or 10 it all depends on how you feel per session. But every emotion you feel can be processed in the manner above. This is my opinion only and it has worked for me and my recovery partner.

I hope that you take the time to look deep inside of yourself and see how good a person you are. Your words often help me and they make a positive difference in my life andmany others in this forum.

We where hurt in the past but look we are survivors. We are writting about our feelings and expressing ourselves. We never didthat as childdren. the healing is happenning we just have to be patient.

My therapist told meone time its a wonder i did not end up on the streets or on crack, meth etc. Some of the people we see that are in that situation are really hurting inside and where not as fortunate to see the tools that are at their disposal. We have the power now to make a difference. We are no longer powerless wounded children

Take care and have a nice day

 

[forgetmenot]

Thanks for you support all i can say is that you are very strong to do what you are doing and i am glad you have a partner to help you

 

[Ftbwgil]

Thanks forgetmenot and I realize how fortunate i am for having found a friend who was also abused and wishes to help himself out. This recovery partner friend i have is that.... we dont hang out .... we meet and work and share.. of course he is like a brother to me and we do not judge each other. I met this person at a twelve step program then we decided to do a recovery program above and beyond the meeting within a group of 6 . During a year we did this program and then continued to stay in touch to support one and other.

I appreciate your strenght as well as I read thru your threads there is always hope and determination .

 

[forgetmenot]

What is a 12 step program someone ask me once if i did that i don't know what it is

 

[David Baxter PhD]

What is a 12 step program someone ask me once if i did that i don't know what it is

The Twelve Step Program originated as the model for Alcoholics Anonymous:

a set of guiding principles (accepted by members as 'spiritual principles,' based on the approved literature) outlining a course of action for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems

It has since been widely used as the basis for a number of other peer-support programs.

 

[GDPR]

There are twelve-step programs for nearly everything imaginable anymore.

 

[forgetmenot]

The Twelve Step Program originated as the model for Alcoholics Anonymous:



It has since been widely used as the basis for a number of other peer-support programs.

oh ok thanks i knew there was a 12 step for AA but did not know it was applied for other illnesses thanks

 

[Ftbwgil]

As David highlighted there are twelve step programs for all sorts of behaviors. I attended a twelve step program for 5 years and then stopped going. There is a twelve step program workbook that you can get at bookstores. I believe the one we did was Twelve steps a way out ... or close to that. It took six of us 1 year to complete and it really helped clean up a lot of my issues that where hampering my wellbeing.

The biggest benefit to these groups is sharing your situation and listening to people who share and feeling normal that your not alone. These groups can somtimes be rigid and the way they expect members to follow the program and some are pretty care free. I do not like the rigid. You can always go on a website and see what its like. They often have a phone number where you can contact a member and he will help you with the process of attending a first meeting. The people attending these meetings can really relate to a lot as they have also experienced and are experiencing personal challenges.

Some of my significant experiences where to recognize what I can and cant control.... thats a big one.... Its called the serenity prayer.

Another was to disclose to someone I trust all of my secrets all of my shame and my hurt.... that one was huge and you really have to trust the person ....

one step is to be asponsor and help people who have issues... that can be rewarding. Its worth looking at and can be complimentary to other recovery sources such as your therapist , meds, etc.

 

[forgetmenot]

Thanks but i know i will never attend a group just not for me not sure abt things what is going to happen im not sure