How to find a therapist to match wits with?

[Darwin]

I will keep this post short in the hopes of getting more than 1 response. My problem is that I think I would like to speak with a professional about my situation but I can't find a therapist that can handle the level of conversation I need if things are to get better. I am fairly intelligent, I have an IQ of 139 and my understanding is that for any type of therapy to work, one has to believe that the therapist CAN help and this is my issue. Without being insulting, there are a lot of "touchy feely" type therapists out there and although that may work for some ... or even most ... it won?t work in my case. I am not saying that this profile of a therapist means they are unintelligent but within the first session if they don?t realise that they need to adapt their therapy to meet their patients needs even after I explain to them the type of therapist I need if I am going to succeed, then that can only mean a couple of things.

So to be as blunt as possible, how do I find a therapist who I can feel comfortable knowing is intelligent enough to help me with my problems?

Thank you and I look forward to answers.

 

[NicNak]

Hi Darwin. Welcome to Psychlinks.

I have an "above average" IQ as well, scoring 135. That being said, it does not mean that there are not others I can learn from.

Life is multi-leveled. I came to the conclusion quite a while ago, that having a high IQ and intellect is great, but it can also be self limiting.

Having a high IQ in my personal situation kept me very articulate, detail oriented and I thrived on facts. Everything to me had to have rhyme or reason. Everything had to have logic. The cause and effect of things was predictable to some extent cause I could think around topics easily and expand them.

This type of thinking is all fine and well for intelligence, but for regular day to day life it does not always apply. I could not see the forest for the trees.

Life in general is not logical, has no rhyme or reason and cannot be figured out analytically. It is like a game where all the rules constantly change.

Therapy has actually taught me ways to see things in a more simplistic manner and opend my eyes to many different possabilities. My doctor is not all mushy mushy. He gives me the cold, hard, truth always.

Some great advice I recieved once about my lack of attention span was "Hey, hey, I am right here. You are listening to me, but you are not hearing me"

They were right.

 

[Budoaiki]

Welcome Darwin.

Well, I am going to assume you were recommended by your G.P. to your previous therapist and that you have already voiced your concerns to him or her about those results or lack there of.

Beyond that obvious step, in my experience it takes at least a couple of sessions to build trust on both sides which I believe is necessary for therapy to actually begin. As you know most therapists try to gain an understanding of your situation before deciding how to meet your needs which naturally takes time.

I have switched therapists myself, after all trust and respect are paramount concerns in these situations.

I would recommend researching different types of therapy, many of which are detailed on this site, to decide which type of therapy you prefer. Then you could do a search for therapists who specialize in that field in your area if you haven't already done so.

 

[Jazzey]

I pretty much would reiterate what Budoaiki's already said Darwin. I've had to change therapists not too long ago because I lost confidence in the first one.

My GP recommended the new psychologist (my GP knows me quite well). And before booking that first appointment, I did a lot of research on her. I made sure that her area of specialization met my needs, made sure she had the requisite accreditation for what I felt I needed. Beyond that, I'll have to see if this can personally be a good match. And if it isn't, I will try again.

Where I live, a person can be a psychologist without having a Ph.D. However, without the Ph.D. the psychologist is limited in what services they can and cannot provide. This was another minimum requirement for me - that the person have the Ph.D.

And welcome to Psychlinks Darwin!

See also: http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/14303-five-major-approaches-to-therapy.html, http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/8872-types-of-mental-health-professionals.html, http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/11459-how-to-find-the-best-therapist-for-you.html, http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...rapy-an-overview-of-the-types-of-therapy.html, http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...-youre-looking-for-counseling-or-therapy.html, http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...rapy-an-overview-of-the-types-of-therapy.html

 

[Halo]

Darwin,

While I understand that you want a therapist that is compatible with you, first let me say that your IQ has no bearing on anything. While you may have a high IQ and therefore feel more intelligent than others, in my experience when it comes to therapy logical, factual intelligence doesn't mean much as it comes down to emotional issues and getting in touch with who you truly are and you can't do that being stuck in your head.

Second, if you choose a Psychologist or Psychiatrist then lets be honest and say that I am sure that they can "keep up" with you and your intelligence as they have been through years and years of studies and I am quite confident that not just any idiot can obtain an M.D. or PhD. It takes intelligence as well as hard work and dedication.

With that being said, if you find that the "touchy feely" stuff doesn't or won't work for you then by all means make that known to your professional however don't automatically disregard them after one session because you don't think it is going to work or you are not a good fit. As others have said, it takes a few sessions at least to gain a better insight into whether there is a good fit, what the issues are, the goals set as well as what approach is going to be used. All of these are factors that need to be considered and can't be done in the first session only.

So, what I am really trying to say here is don't be quick to make a judgment and believe that no one is good enough or smart enough to keep up with you but as long as you see someone with reputable credentials then I think you are at least on the right road.

Good luck

 

[ladylore]

First off - Welcome.

Alot of great things have already been said here. What I want to add is a bit of personal experience. I had worked in the field as a crisis worker for many years. I knew many, many things. When I went back into therapy it showed that I 'knew' many things - but it was with my intellect.

What therapy has done is to bring what I knew in my head to my heart - so I knew it 'with every fibre of my being'. It's one thing to know things intellectually, but a whole other ball game to really know and feel it. Until this happened I never really 'got it'.

Clear as mud?

Have you tried psychoanalysis? It might work better for you. Only a suggestion.

 

[Darwin]

First off, thank you for all the replies. I appreciate everyone taking the time to answer.

What I would like to make clear is that I am not a pompous ass (excuse the French) who thinks he is smarter than everyone else and therefore can’t get help. I didn’t post what my test IQ was to try and pump myself up and I also understand that everyone can learn from every experience in life. I simply wanted to skip a debate about why I think I may be intelligent.
For me, intelligence is not being amazing at trivial pursuit or knowing pi to the 23 power... but is about the ability to problem solve coupled with the experiences of one’s life.

I am not trying to insult anyone and I apologize if my first post offended as it was not its intent. I truly want to find someone who is

a) real enough to base answers on personal and professional experiences instead of following a typical standard text book procedure

b) not be scared to tell me what they actually think and not what they think they should say as a therapist

As far as giving it more than 1 session, I do give it at least 2 or 3. Part of where I excel is in my ability to read people. Sales positions are easy for me and marketing is a breeze. One of my issues I need help with is staying focussed on the task at hand. I get into a job, start a new business and as soon as it becomes a success, I get bored because the challenge is over. Because I usually always self employed and with new projects I dont have a great deal of time to commit to finding a therapist. I have seen 7 in the last 6 months and am getting frustrated because its not free and with a minimum of 14 sessions at $150 in six months with zero results, its starting to get costly.

Call me crazy, but if I were to find someone who after hearing my story, told me “you are a nutcase, and I have dealt with other nutcases just like you and half of them I helped and the other half where hopeless cases to begin with but you I think I can help” I would be tickled pink with someone like that. I dont know if anyone watches Two and a Half Men, but the therapist on the show is the personality I am looking for.

Text book material I have read. I know about CBT, I know all about behavioral conditioning, I even have become a CHT (clinical hypnotherapist) in the hopes of self hypnotic suggestions working. I don’t need someone to tell me what I can and in some cases already have read and researched on my own. I need someone who can take what they have learned in college or university, and apply it to me in my life with my situation in a way that makes sense to me. Telling me to go home and when I wake up looking myself in the mirror and telling myself I love myself 10 times ... may work for some people, but positive affirmations I already know about is not the kind of therapy I want and don’t want to pay $150 an hour to a therapist to who is going to tell me that I should just try it anyways...

Well I am starting to rant a bit here and again I know not all therapists are the same so please don’t be offended if you are in the field.

I guess to wrap up, I need a therapist who is going to have a more alpha personality then I, that has had more life experience than just college and can understand my personality type enough to recognize that I am not your average patient and I do know quite a bit about what I am talking about.

Anyone out there like this, please PM me.

Thank you all again for your responses and help.

 

[Jazzey]

Hi Darwin,

I love Two and a half men and I love the therapist on that show....I happen to have one now who's just like that. Doesn't mince words with me - and I need that also.

During our first session together, I told her that this was one of my *things* - I needed that. No pussy footing around me - it annoys the crap out of me and I struggle with finding the therapist credible if they aren't direct with me...Well, people in general really.

I hope you find a therapist like that for yourself Darwin.

As for the rest - don't worry too much about it. Given the medium, it's difficult to appreciate where someone's coming from all the time - so thank you for the explanation.

 

[Darwin]

I love Two and a half men and I love the therapist on that show....I happen to have one now who's just like that. Doesn't mince words with me - and I need that also.

Any chance your therapist lives within 100km of Mississauga Ontario?

 

[Jazzey]

No, sorry...Mine is in the Maritimes. However, maybe some of the membership can recommend someone now that we know your location (via PM).

Have you also looked at here: Directories*?*Therapy and Therapists*?*Psychlinks Directory of Health and Mental Health Resources*:: Psychlinks Health and Mental Health Resources Directory

You may find someone in Mississauga...And again, there are quite a few members here from your area, so maybe someone may be able to offer you a suggestion.

 

[NicNak]

CAMH. Centre for Addiction and Mental Health is located in Toronto.

They have many resources available. I have been there a few times and called reception as well for names and numbers of support groups in the area. They were very helpful to me.

You can also ask your Family Doctor for a referal to CAMH for an assessment and then they can suggest appropiate therapy. I went there for my assessment and it did require a referal from my GP.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I would also recommend:

Anne Bourke, M.A.
Toronto-Mississuaga
905-785-6383 or 416-968-0640
Anne Bourke - lightworksforwellbeing.com or Adlerian Centre Attention: Anne Bourke

 

[Yuray]

Hi Darwin

I understand. With my IQ of 467, it was hard to find someone smarter than me. But as fate would have it, I found someone who would not tolerate my nonsense. It cost a few bucks, and searching, but, what doesn't.

I looked for a challenge I suppose, forgetting that no one had to 'prove' themselves to me. My therapist challenged my senses. She never diagnosed me with any particular affliction. What would be the point? So I could tell everyone to please excuse my behaviour because I had a bona fide malady?

My problems were what they were. She didn't take my hand a nurse my feelings along. Knowing 'why' isn't always helpful. Dealing with the consequences of 'why' is.

I wasn't looking for someone smarter than me, but someone capable of seeing me.

Alas, it is quite lonely up here.

Yuray