How Do I Invite Others to Join Activities?
Master Social Effectiveness bi-weekly e-zine
by Signe A. Dayhoff, Ph.D.
September 28, 2011
Once you’ve initiated a conversation with someone who seems of interest, whether for friendship or business, you need to invite them to join you in some small activity.
It should be a “small” activity so neither of you has too much invested in the invitation itself or in actually getting together.
Before you say anything, be sure to look for social clues that indicate the person may be willing to join you in something.
Social clues include open body stance, eye contact, smiling, asking about you, agreement on different issues, and common interests.
When you pick an activity, make it somewhat neutral until you get to know the person better. For example, asking the person to go for coffee.
Asking to go for lunch is more intimate than for coffee and for dinner is very intimate. For drinks is also more intimate and is generally unwise for fostering business acquaintances.
When you extend the invitation, you need to do it in an open fashion to help further gauge the person’s interest.
“Maybe we could get a cup of coffee sometime.” The “sometime” is important. It doesn’t pin the person down to a specific time.
Instead it puts the ball in their court to respond affirmatively by stating, e.g., “That sounds good.”
With an affirmative reply, you can then suggest setting up a specific date.
But if the person answers neutrally, e.g, “Maybe sometime,” you can respond, “Let me know when you’re available.”
This low-key approach keeps the invitation very casual and puts no one, neither the inviter or invitee, on the defensive or in a position to be embarrassed or feel rejected.
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Dr. Dayhoff is a social psychologist, cognitive-behaviorist, and interpersonal communications expert who shows you how to
- Conquer fear of small talk and public speaking
- Master verbal and nonverbal self-presentation skills
- Project confidence in all you say and do
- Skyrocket your growth and opportunities
- Create desired work and personal relationships.
http://www.MasterSocialEffectiveness.com
Master Social Effectiveness bi-weekly e-zine
by Signe A. Dayhoff, Ph.D.
September 28, 2011
Once you’ve initiated a conversation with someone who seems of interest, whether for friendship or business, you need to invite them to join you in some small activity.
It should be a “small” activity so neither of you has too much invested in the invitation itself or in actually getting together.
Before you say anything, be sure to look for social clues that indicate the person may be willing to join you in something.
Social clues include open body stance, eye contact, smiling, asking about you, agreement on different issues, and common interests.
When you pick an activity, make it somewhat neutral until you get to know the person better. For example, asking the person to go for coffee.
Asking to go for lunch is more intimate than for coffee and for dinner is very intimate. For drinks is also more intimate and is generally unwise for fostering business acquaintances.
When you extend the invitation, you need to do it in an open fashion to help further gauge the person’s interest.
“Maybe we could get a cup of coffee sometime.” The “sometime” is important. It doesn’t pin the person down to a specific time.
Instead it puts the ball in their court to respond affirmatively by stating, e.g., “That sounds good.”
With an affirmative reply, you can then suggest setting up a specific date.
But if the person answers neutrally, e.g, “Maybe sometime,” you can respond, “Let me know when you’re available.”
This low-key approach keeps the invitation very casual and puts no one, neither the inviter or invitee, on the defensive or in a position to be embarrassed or feel rejected.
---
Dr. Dayhoff is a social psychologist, cognitive-behaviorist, and interpersonal communications expert who shows you how to
- Conquer fear of small talk and public speaking
- Master verbal and nonverbal self-presentation skills
- Project confidence in all you say and do
- Skyrocket your growth and opportunities
- Create desired work and personal relationships.
http://www.MasterSocialEffectiveness.com
