Humour - NOS

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

The trick is to click the button that says “Reply with quote” with pretty much anything that isn’t one or two posts back.

Ah-HA! Thank you so much, GaryQ! lol

Hm... Maybe I will stick to using the iPad or the PC: it’s hard to see everything on the cell phone... I have a good-sized screen, but because I’ve increased the text size to a million, sometimes buttons overlap, or cover what I’m typing. My eyes got old, and even with my “computer glasses” it’s still easy for my eyes to get all tired and cross. Well, my right eye gets cross. The left one has better temperament, but of course it doesn’t see as well as the right eye.

 

[GaryQ]

 

[GaryQ]

Artificial intelligence = stupidity at it's finest:

Amazon makes me :rofl: sometimes with their suggestions... well, quite often to be precise...




Would be nice to know where they got the ideas that:
for one I needed 3 phones for a single person in a 1 bedroom apartment (no I don't need on in the bathroom)
and two that I would have a land line in the first place.

Bonus: I bought a cheap plastic microwave baby bottle sterilizer 3 years ago as it seemed like the easiest and cheapest thing to use (at the time) to sterilize my DIY Vaping supplies and glass bottles.... Since that day I keep getting baby stuff suggestions all the time :facepalm:

 

[GaryQ]

 

[Daniel E.]

Since Gary doesn't have a phone yet in his bathroom:

 

[Daniel E.]

For the alternative medicine crowd:

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[GaryQ]

Old tech joke Daniel! Is that what they are teaching you leading up to your Master's degree?

I have a feeling that the obfuscated analogy using Hexadecimal representations of the 1st and 16,777,216th values of the 24-bit-RGB color wheel have the potential of levitating slightly above the cranium of the average 21st century homosapien though.

Sorry, I just couldn't resist the temptation. I did make a failed attempt at trying to avoid it though but it was just simply too strong an itch to resist

 

[Daniel E.]

Old tech joke Daniel!

You mean classic. Like a Ford with the original transmission from 2001.

 

[GaryQ]

You mean classic. Like a Ford with the original transmission from 2001.

I stand corrected

So what does that define my 2000 Ford Focus with original engine and transmission and 126.5k KMs? A collectors item?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You mean classic. Like a Ford with the original transmission from 2001.

You mean Gerald Ford?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I stand corrected

So what does that define my 2000 Ford Focus with original engine and transmission and 126.5k KMs? A collectors item?

A dinosaur?

 

[GaryQ]

A dinosaur?

You know dinosaur bones alone are worth a lot of money and there are plenty of potential buyers for them since they are all in museums.

And mine is still ALIVE!
Think I need to get it appraised now.

 

[Daniel E.]

I have a Ford Ranger a few years older than your Focus, and it is not bad after almost 300k miles. But everyone tries to pass me when I drive it. So it is mostly for getting hay for the chickens.

 

[GaryQ]

I have a Ford Ranger a few years older than your Focus, and it is not bad after almost 300k miles. But everyone tries to pass me when I drive it. So it is mostly for getting hay for the chickens.

I know we’re in a humor thread but wouldn’t getting it and other things delivered be more cost effective than keeping a vehicle plated and insured for minimum use? Although not being dependent on anyone does add a plus value.

 

[Daniel E.]

We need it for other things like occasionally hauling OSB and other lumber, etc. I cannot imagine my husband living without a pickup truck. That would be like me not having Internet access haha.

The insurance is not expensive since it is considered a pleasure vehicle by the insurance company.

Incidentally, Lowes charges $75 to deliver anything to our rural address.

 

[GaryQ]

On the subject of old things:

Manitoba (probably other places too) real estate cow dung translation:

Turn of the century character home in the heart of the city needs a little TLC a rare Great opportunity for you to own this one of a kind home. Better hurry at this price it won’t be available long!

Translates into de-pooped English to:

Old run down house falling apart because we don’t renovate our crack house rentals. Right smack in the center of town where you have plenty of neighbors watching you come and go waiting to break in or vandalize your property for fun where access to any and all illicit drugs is accessible without leaving your front porch. Hurry up and take this one off the owner’s hands before the city inspectors finally do their job and condemn it to be torn down (that’s the before it’s gone part) Real value = assesses land value - tear down costs but we want twice as much as it’s worth because it’s full of people crazy enough to buy it at that reduced for quick sale price.

Funny, but at the same time realistically sad. Installing I’ve been in so many rentals that are health and safety hazards that should be condemned owned by slum lords taking advantage of the poor especially the poor working class.

 

[GaryQ]

I cannot imagine my husband living without a pickup truck. That would be like me not having Internet access haha.

Point well made

 

[GaryQ]

I love Going to Walmart... sometimes I get great deals but more often great laughs with their new guaranteed unbeatable price stickers (They also brag that they check godzillion prices too)

heres one example taken yesterday:


Great, expensive but Dollarama sells Burns flakes of ham (same size) for $1.25

Maybe the unbeatable stands for “nobody sells it for more than we do” :facepalm: