I have a problem

[dor]

I have a problem with alcohol. I prefer to drink alone and and can not drink in front of friends because they judge me.

I want to talk to Mary because I feel she has the same need to talk to someone. I feel alone and my family is alienating me. I have to talk to someone!!! I'm not sure how to deal with this.

 

[madinstinct]

Well, it appears that you have yourself a problem. Loosing the booze HAS to be your first move. The family alienation is probably both your withdraw from them and their withdraw from your alcoholic behaviors. Who is this Mary? Is she a friend you think you can trust? Ask yourself, is she really where you are at, or do you just need someone to lighten the stark reality of your situation by sharing in your inner turmoil?
I hate to break it to you, but you've got to quit drinking if you want to maintain or repair any of your relationships, because it is an obvious block for you.
Go seek treatment, please. For your family, friends, and especially your own sanity.

 

[just mary]

Hi dor,

Drinking alone does feel good, it provides an escape. When I drink, I'm usually alone, in fact I prefer to be alone, nothing can interfere with "Mary's World". I imagine so many different situations and I think to myself "tomorrow, everything will be okay, I'll make the changes, I'll take control, just give me these few hours tonight when I can feel good" but I never change, I just get older. I don't know what to say dor, but just reach out to someone, go to an AA meeting, they're a bit cult-like but sometimes the fellowship can be very comforting. And they don't judge, they've all been there, they know what you're feeling like. Just keep trying and send me a private message, I'd be more than happy to hear from you.

Be safe and take care,