I think I am developing social anxiety...

[Bubbleteawoman]

I've noticed in the past few years, I'm becoming more and more shy around people and out in public. It's to the point now where I don't even like going out anymore because I feel like people are looking at me, and/or judging me. I think a lot of it has to do with being self conscious about the weight gain I have from the meds I take.. I feel so disgusted with myself that I don't want to be seen. I feel ugly all the time and don't want to attract attention to myself. Recently, I was in the hospital for a few weeks on the epilepsy ward, and the entire time I hardly ever socialized with the other patients on my ward, and just kept to myself. I didn't even like eating in front of them while I was there, so I hardly ate. Whenever I go shopping, I feel so insecure around everyone, especially if they are thin and/or pretty. I'm 29 and still single and worry about being in a relationship. I worry any guy I meet won't think I'm interesting enough, or just not like me, or think I'm a complete geek and loser. I have no confidence in myself and I lack self esteem. I don't think very highly of myself and worry that I'll never get married or have kids or be pretty again.

Anyone know how I can gain that self esteem back? Ten years ago, I was confident, had everything going for me and believed in myself. Now I just feel like a failure who is nobody. I'm getting really depressed about it and just want to be that person I was ten years ago.

Any ideas?

 

[Andy]

Have you ever had any therapy at all Bubbleteawoman?

 

[Bubbleteawoman]

I just recently started going to therapy again but have only had one session so far. Due to money stress, I can only afford to go once every two months. I'm hoping I can get enough sessions to work all this out.

 

[Andy]

Oh I see, Yes it can be quite costly. It's good that your going though, even if it's not regularly. Has she given you any work like home work to work on. Wow that was a lot of "works". Ideally it would be better if you could try to fit more sessions in there but, money doesn't just appear.

Anyway, Have you looked in to any reading material that you can do on your own? There is a link at the top of the page for some book suggestions if your interested in that.

Would that be something you would be willing to try out?

 

[Yuray]

Any ideas?

Yes....keep posting. It takes awhile to 'see where a person is coming from', and to become familiar with the person's situation(s). Quite often, a person's posts will differ in content and urgency. Your three posts so far have addressed a lot of things, and it will take some time, and interaction to see what's up.

Why were you in an epilepsy ward? You haven't mentioned in any of your posts being epileptic.

 

[Retired]

Bubbleteawoman,

I noticed you are in Canada and that your therapy has an out of pocket expense attached, so I presume you are being seen by a psychologist. Have you discussed your cost concerns with your therapist, who my have a sliding fee scale.

in the hospital for a few weeks on the epilepsy ward

Are you being followed by a family physician or specialist for your mood and or convulsions and have you been prescribed any medications for these disorders?

 

[Bubbleteawoman]

Oh I see, Yes it can be quite costly. It's good that your going though, even if it's not regularly. Has she given you any work like home work to work on. Wow that was a lot of "works". Ideally it would be better if you could try to fit more sessions in there but, money doesn't just appear.

Anyway, Have you looked in to any reading material that you can do on your own? There is a link at the top of the page for some book suggestions if your interested in that.

Would that be something you would be willing to try out?

I'm willing to try anything at this point. What books do you recommend?

---------- Post added at 06:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:09 PM ----------

Why were you in an epilepsy ward? You haven't mentioned in any of your posts being epileptic.

I was in the epilepsy ward to do tests to see why I'm having seizures and they confirmed that I have temperal lobe epilepsy. It's interesting because the seizure med I take is also a mood stabilizer and I notice my anxiety/depression is a lot better when I take that med. It's interesting how epilepsy and anxiety/depression can be somewhat intertwined.

---------- Post added at 06:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:11 PM ----------

Bubbleteawoman,

Have you discussed your cost concerns with your therapist, who my have a sliding fee scale.

Yes, unfortunately, I've already been giving the lowest rate, which is almost $100 per session. I think there are free counselling at the hospitals but it's quite the wait list.

Are you being followed by a family physician or specialist for your mood and or convulsions and have you been prescribed any medications for these disorders?

Yes, I see my family doctor on a monthly basis, and my neurologist every six months. I take lamictal for my seizures and paxil and risperdol for my anxiety/ocd.

 

[Andy]

Hi Bubbleteawoman,

I know the book Feeling Good is well good lol by Burns...I was going to say George Burns but I don't think he is feeling so good. I'm sure if you Googled that you would find it. I have the book here somewhere but that's what I say about everything. There is a tab at the top of the forum that says "Books" that you may want to check out.

I was wondering if you tried Catholic family services? They are specifically for people who can't afford to pay a lot and it's very cheap.

I wish there were more places around here that sold bubbletea. Maybe more now then when I last checked.

DAVID Burns. lol

 

[David Baxter PhD]

See:

Cognitive Behavior Therapy: CBT

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/psychlin...gnitive-behavior-therapy-cbt-david-burns.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/psychlin...anic-attacks-new-cbt-book-by-david-burns.html

 

[Bubbleteawoman]

Thanks for the book suggestions! I'll be sure to check them out.