If at first you don't succeed, try try again... and then quit?

[Eye Stigmata]

I quit therapy today.

I've never felt more alone. I don't know why I do this...I want people close, but then when they are close...I push them away.
It's ridiculous. I can't accept that anyone cares about me, when people are too nice to me, I look for reasons to destroy the relationship.

I've been really depressed the last few weeks, I had therapy yesterday and my session didn't go all that well. And today I just called it quits.

My therapist was so calm and understanding...and it just made me feel guilty for leaving.

I don't know what to do....I feel like maybe I just need a new therapist, but the fear of finding a new one that I click with and starting all over again makes me want to throw up. I don't know that I'll be able to go through all the deep details of things all over again, especially since it took me months to even hint at the problems I was having.....

Any suggestions......or am I really as messed up as I think

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: If at first you don't succeed, try try again...and then quit?..

Do you think you could maybe go back? I'm sure your therapist would be very understanding and accept you back.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: If at first you don't succeed, try try again...and then quit?..

I was going to ask the same thing as CD, If you don't think you're ready to start over, perhaps you could try to talk to your current therapist about why you feel you're not making progress. S/he might be able to suggest a different approach that wouldn't necessitate finding a new therapist.

 

[Banned]

ES,

Did you actually tell your therapist you weren't coming back, or is this something you decided in your head? The reason I ask is because if you haven't said anything, then it's easier and less stressful to resolve.

Long distance therapy is really hard. I know because I'm doing it too. It's not the same as face to face, and its just...different, and harder in some ways.

Did you call it quits because yesterday's session didn't go well, or for other reasons? Not every session will be stellar. In fact, most of them aren't. I wonder if your expectations are too high? A year in therapy is not that long...assuming an hour a week, each of you takes a minimum of two weeks holidays, that's about 48 weeks/hours if neither of you ever misses a week...that's only six working days. That's not very much time at all.

Usually, leaving a therapist doesn't have to be final. I have yet to have a therapist tell me I can't go back. If you change your mind, give her a call and see if you can go back. Even if it's to discuss your fears and uncertainties.

 

[SilentNinja]

hiya

this sounds exactly like me!!! everything you said, and why i left too.
I left my Psych a few months ago now and i felt awefull. but same as you i dnt think i could go through everything again! I dont like people getting too close either...

Ive been trying to get the courage to go back and ask to see someone else, i know thats what i have to do next, for now im just glad to be apart of this site... it has helped me a little bit, And hopefully soon i wil be able t go back, and get someone who understands me, i know someone who is on there 4th psych and now they are getting on well. Maybe you should write everything down so its not all going through your head and when you feel you are ready go for it.. and you might find you get on a lot better with someone new. I just found that i was gettng no where with mine, even if i did tell her why it still wouldnt help, but as other have said you could try again with the same one, i guess not all are the same, then if she still doesnt understand then maybe think about seeing someone new.

Try not to feel so bad though.

sorry if im not much help.

 

[Jackie]

I would have a chat to your therapist. I'm sure this can be sorted out. I'm sure she will understand and try to sort something out with you.:hug:

 

[Marcel]

I have (repeatedly) quit therapy for similar reasons and each time, my therapist has accepted me back, regardless of whether it was immediately or a few months later. She understands that quitting is part of my issues, not a reflection of how I feel about working with her. And she has also offered to find me someone else should I really decide one day that the relationship is not working. So either way, I think your old therapist could still help you decide what your next step should be.

 

[why]

I was gone for two years, but I have an appointment to see her tomorrow. Your therapist will understand.:hug:

 

[Eye Stigmata]

Thanks for all the support and suggestions.

I told her I was quitting. I had been thinking about quitting for a while, but having that bad session was the last straw. I don't know why I'm feeling so down. I can't even explain how I feel...It's weird.

I think you're right Turtle...about the long distance. It's so much harder not being face to face. Not seeing the facial expressions and everything....I think I get more said over the phone than in person...but I don't think it's always about what you 'say'

I don't know.......I told her I didn't want to live anymore and that I was quitting....probably not the best terms to leave on. I'm sure she would take me back if I needed therapy, but....I feel like I just don't want anything right now.

 

[Banned]

If you don't want to live any more, that's probably a good reason to stay in therapy then.

 

[Dragonfly]

I don't know.......I told her I didn't want to live anymore and that I was quitting.....

ES - I am sorry that you believe that quitting therapy [and life] will help with your anguish and frustration. I wonder if it is actually harder to quit than to find more balanced resolutions to the problem(s). That is, it seems like you believe that "quitting" will end your emotional upset. but I am not sure that it will. However, if you choose to not quit, that leaves you with an almost infinite number of ways to soothe your discomfort. I suspect that you know many, many ways to comfort yourself - just as you know about how relationships / interdependence on others is scary for you.

take care as best you can,
df