More threads by echo

echo

Member
I'm having a really hard time lately getting on with life and everything, I've been depressed since a few weeks before christmas when my parents told me that they were seperating. At first I didn't really realize what was going on but now I know that I'm depressed. Lately things have been going downhill, the panic attacks that I have are getting worse and worse, when before I was able to control them. I feel that I can't talk to my parents or my friends, except for one who's also semi-depressed. When I'm really down I find I have suicidal thoughts and impulses. I just don't feel this is going to fix itself and if I could just get a suggestion it would help.
 
I would suggest talking to your family doctor if you have one and getting a referral for a counselor. Medication could also help.

I'm sorry that you're feeling depressed. It is treatable though. There is hope for people.
 

Daniel E.

daniel@psychlinks.ca
Administrator
I agree with Janet.

I remember in college when my English professor came to class half an hour late. He was visibly distressed. The reason: He found out his parents are getting divorced. So even at his age of 40-something, it affected him deeply.
 

Eunoia

Member
hey echo! divorces are hard on everyone (not always but a lot of the time), so it's totally udnerstandable that you're feeling depressed about this. One thing to remember though is that hopefully after the divorce your parents will be able to work out their differences and have a good relationship w/ you afterwards no matter what, so maybe their divorce will eliminate some of the conflict. I know it's hard to talk to your parents about this or even friends, mayeb b/c you don't know how to word things or b/c they may not understand? but maybe you could sit down /w your parents and let them know how you feel, voice your opinion, your concerns... and hopefully they will be able to answer some of those questions to the best of their ability. I think divorce can be very difficult b/c it's such a big change and it "wrecks the happy family" but you guys will still be a family. Just not nec. living together anymore. This is their issues to work out, so obviously you're having feelings about this but don't let it get you down so much.. talking to someone will probably really help even if it is just so you can talk to someone (which it sounds like right now you can't really). They can listen to you, give you objective advice... support you. It'll take time, that's for sure.
A counsellor etc. could also help you w/ your panic attacks and sucidal thoughts etc.
I just don't feel this is going to fix itself
You're probably right, so please go talk to someone. Anyone who can point you in the right direction and find you the support you need, k? Depression is very hard to deal w/ especially on your own. You shouldn't have to do this on your own.
 

exhausted

Member
I have panic disorder but am fortunate to have a good physicians in the passed that I have found medication that keeps that under control. Depending on your age, I would say that those panic attacks will probably pass if that is any comfort. But you might want to ask to go to a doctor to treat those attacks. They can be hindering.

Other than that, instead of worrying about your parents, why don't you find something in your own life that will keep you busy doing something for your self and your future. Have you thought about starting an online support group for teenagers or young adults who's parents are separating or divorcing? That might be helpful to help others going through such time. I find that helping others often helps YOUR SELF as well.

Find something you enjoy doing that is positive. Join a swim team, soccor team, baseball team, anything thing that you can pour yourself into while your parents hash out their own problems.

You will be coming into your own soon and you might want to think about YOUR future, perhaps in an area of helping others. Helping others in the salve to your own hurting spirit.

Or start researching carreers that you might want to do when you graduate. Think of things you are interested in your own life now and find a carreer that might be similar to your interests.

Do volunteer work! Volunteer at a convelescent (sp) center and help the elderly, or volunteer at a respite program for disabled children. Maybe you could be a tutor or join the literacy to help others read.

I am not trying to minimize your feelings about your parents divorce. I know you have a lot of conflicting feelings about that. You may incorrectly feel responsible in some way... you are not. You may feel stuck in the middle, don't allow yourself to be... simply move on with your own life with positive fullfilling activities to take your mind off of your parents problems and open up your own world.

Most of all you will survive, and with any luck, grow into a happy productive adult. Use these bad times to better yourself or help others.

I hope this helps, sometimes when we are depressed, we can't see the positive things others might offer. I say this because I often can't see them either.

SusieQ
 
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