electric_sheep
Member
I would probably be diagnosed as OCD by a trained professional. Funny how so many traits and characteristics can be so neatly summarized like that. I've never sought help, but wonder if I should. Unfortunately, I don't have health insurance. I'll have to spend some time thinking about just how much this has impacted my life, and what's due to OCD and what's not. Without a doubt my struggles with addiction of one form or another have been very disruptive. Is addiction a symptom of OCD, or a particular expression of it ?
Feel free to scan my "symptoms":
Sometimes I find myself repeatedly touching my thumb to each of my four fingers in sequence, usually accompanied by some mental counting ("2, 4, 6, 8..."). There are variations. I may spell out a word in this manner, for instance, or I may tap the desk instead. It's always quite "organized" though. I don't do this often. It seems to happen more often if something is on my mind or I'm upset.
I find myself worrying about the cleanliness of my apartment and car.
In the past I may have exhibited symptoms of hoarding when it comes to my mp3 collection. For a time I was obsessed with downloading and organizing them. Finally I realized I was spending more time downloading/organizing than listening to them.
I have perfectionist tendencies (when it comes to certain things). When I was a kid I was particularly bad. I would alphabatize my science-fiction novels. If a cover got too bent up, or some pages soiled or wrinkled, I'd actually buy a new copy. I would rip up and throw away my drawings.
I've been "addicted" to various things throughout my life... exercise, drugs, drinking, sex and porn, school, computers, etc... "Addicted" meaning focusing on it to a harmful degree.
Now for my bizarre bathroom rituals (this is embarrassing).
I often (but not always) sit while peeing due to concern that drops of pee may "fly up" and hit me. I almost always use the towel to open the bathroom door when in public. This next confession may be too much information, but I am quasi obsessed with the cleanliness of my rear, often going so far as to use a wet towel to clean it (after excessive whipping).
After showering I dry everything except my ass and my ears, as these body parts have been ostrasized (I think of them as dirty). I use tissue to dry them instead.
I usually pick up things really quick. I wish this was due to genius, but it's probably because once I get interested in something, I focus on it religiously. My friends and family are often envious of this, but I've paid quite a price.
I've been known to have obsessional thoughts,. There have been two times in my life when they have been particularly bad. When I was in graduate school there were times when I couldn't "turn off", so to speak, and would think about math problems while running, driving, and even sleeping. Sometimes I would "wake" in the middle of the night with solutions to math problems. Clearly I must not have been sleeping very deeply. The other time in my life when they were particularly bad was when my significant other let slip too much information about her past sex life (and, purposely or not, made comparisons with me). I was obsessed for weeks, reading everything I could online about what's termed "retroactive jealousy". I studied this phenomenon as if I was going to write a book on it, and indead I did write an essay or two. I started looking into yoga and meditation to make the thoughts go away. Created notecards to try and steer my thoughts in another direction. Eventually time turned out to be the best healer, though to this day I still occationally think about it.
That's probably just the quick list.
Feel free to scan my "symptoms":
Sometimes I find myself repeatedly touching my thumb to each of my four fingers in sequence, usually accompanied by some mental counting ("2, 4, 6, 8..."). There are variations. I may spell out a word in this manner, for instance, or I may tap the desk instead. It's always quite "organized" though. I don't do this often. It seems to happen more often if something is on my mind or I'm upset.
I find myself worrying about the cleanliness of my apartment and car.
In the past I may have exhibited symptoms of hoarding when it comes to my mp3 collection. For a time I was obsessed with downloading and organizing them. Finally I realized I was spending more time downloading/organizing than listening to them.
I have perfectionist tendencies (when it comes to certain things). When I was a kid I was particularly bad. I would alphabatize my science-fiction novels. If a cover got too bent up, or some pages soiled or wrinkled, I'd actually buy a new copy. I would rip up and throw away my drawings.
I've been "addicted" to various things throughout my life... exercise, drugs, drinking, sex and porn, school, computers, etc... "Addicted" meaning focusing on it to a harmful degree.
Now for my bizarre bathroom rituals (this is embarrassing).
I often (but not always) sit while peeing due to concern that drops of pee may "fly up" and hit me. I almost always use the towel to open the bathroom door when in public. This next confession may be too much information, but I am quasi obsessed with the cleanliness of my rear, often going so far as to use a wet towel to clean it (after excessive whipping).
After showering I dry everything except my ass and my ears, as these body parts have been ostrasized (I think of them as dirty). I use tissue to dry them instead.
I usually pick up things really quick. I wish this was due to genius, but it's probably because once I get interested in something, I focus on it religiously. My friends and family are often envious of this, but I've paid quite a price.
I've been known to have obsessional thoughts,. There have been two times in my life when they have been particularly bad. When I was in graduate school there were times when I couldn't "turn off", so to speak, and would think about math problems while running, driving, and even sleeping. Sometimes I would "wake" in the middle of the night with solutions to math problems. Clearly I must not have been sleeping very deeply. The other time in my life when they were particularly bad was when my significant other let slip too much information about her past sex life (and, purposely or not, made comparisons with me). I was obsessed for weeks, reading everything I could online about what's termed "retroactive jealousy". I studied this phenomenon as if I was going to write a book on it, and indead I did write an essay or two. I started looking into yoga and meditation to make the thoughts go away. Created notecards to try and steer my thoughts in another direction. Eventually time turned out to be the best healer, though to this day I still occationally think about it.
That's probably just the quick list.
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