Intimidated

[forgetmenot]

I find it very hard talking with my daughter's psychiatrist. He is very tall and intimidating. I just feel very small and inferior. I have to talk with him tommorrow about feeling out forms for my daughter and already fear is setting in. I hope to get in and out as fast as possible without embarrassing myself. I just wish i wasn't so afraid of people who i think are judging me.

 

[NicNak]

I will assure you, most Mental Health professionals do not judge. Most have heard it all so to speak.

Sorry you are feeling embarassed, but there isn't anything to be ashamed of. He knows your daughters situation already.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi NicNak Its not that i am embarrassed. I feel this Dr. is judging me as a parent. I feel he sees me as part of the problem. He is not friendly at all and i just feel very fearful that i might get angry at him. I fear if he says something to hurt my daughter or me i will become angry or even break down. He intimidates me i just want a form filled out stating my daughter psychological condition and i am afraid to ask him to fill it out. God i hate it that i let him make me feel so dam small and stupid

 

[suewatters1]

Mary just write it on piece of paper that you want him to fill out the form stating your daughter's psychological condition.

Then when you get in his office you pass him that piece of paper without saying a word.

Sue

 

[white page]

Hi Mary ,
Let's look at things from his point of view , your daughter is his patient , and he is probably keeping a little distance from you as any good professional would , because his primary concern is his patient .

He is not judging any one , why don't you talk this over with your therapist , I am sure your paranoia is unfounded , you have a lot to cope with at the moment , and when we are over stretched we often feel this kind of paranoia .
best wishes wp

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I feel this Dr. is judging me as a parent. I feel he sees me as part of the problem. He is not friendly at all and i just feel very fearful that i might get angry at him. I fear if he says something to hurt my daughter or me i will become angry or even break down. He intimidates me i just want a form filled out stating my daughter psychological condition and i am afraid to ask him to fill it out. God i hate it that i let him make me feel so dam small and stupid

Is it possible that he's just rather business-like and somewhat reserved? This is your daughter's psychiatrist, remember, so he has a therapist-patient relationship with her, not with you. It seems to me that he may not in fact be judging or blaming you at all. It may be simply that the fact that you find him intimidating plays into your feelings of guilt and responsibility concerning your daughter, and this in turn leads you to worry that her psychiatrist "blames" you.

 

[forgetmenot]

Thanks Sue i think that is what i will do. I just do not want him to see my emotions He knows my daughter wants me there and he allows it so he should be more receptive of it. Writing down what i want would be better then i won't have to be nervous about saying things wrong. thanks Mary

---------- Post added later and automatically merged ----------

Maybe your right. maybe is it just my insecurities coming through. This Dr. is very reserve and business like hardly smiles at all. I just want him to see my daughter is trying very hard to stay well and that i don't want to interfer with anything. I just want to keep her safe that is all. Thanks Mary.

 

[Jazzey]

Maybe your right. maybe is it just my insecurities coming through. This Dr. is very reserve and business like hardly smiles at all. I just want him to see my daughter is trying very hard to stay well and that i don't want to interfer with anything. I just want to keep her safe that is all. Thanks Mary.

I know you want to keep your daughter safe Mary. And I really do understand and appreciate your love for her. Just remember that this is truly her recovery - she needs to want this for herself. She also needs to want to do this for herself.

While you can be there to support her and listen to her, I think it may be important for her to do this on her own - that this truly be her victory...

Mary, you're a good mom. But sometimes being a good mom also requires stepping back a little to give your child the opportunity to stand on her own, to do for herself. The amount of growth there is incredible - and she needs this too.

What is your daughter's diagnosis Mary?

 

[forgetmenot]

Jazzey she has so many diagnosis. complex post traumatic schizoeffective , borderline personality disorder, dissociative disorder. attention deficit hyperactive disorder I just don't care what title they give her she is my daughter and i have to keep her safe. This doctor released her to the streets and she can't be there people took advantage. Only i can keep her safe why can't anyone see this why. She asked me today if she could stay with me fprever and i said yes as long as she needs me.

 

[Jazzey]

You'll always be her mother Mary. And you're a good mom. My post was more a way of suggesting that she needs this success for herself. I don't doubt that she needs you - not one bit. I still need my mom. But some successes have to be won on our own terms...

I'm sorry Mary, I know that you want to protect her. And I sincerely understand...You're doing right by her and this is great. But I know that you understand when I tell you that she really needs to want this recovery for herself. You just can't do this for her Mary. No matter how much you love her and want to protect her...

 

[forgetmenot]

Your right Jazzey i can't do it for her but i can show her how to succeed and do this. I fought all the odds and became someone from nothing from garbage i survived. Now i need to teach her how to do this. I have to show her that it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks she will survive she will get better she will become whatever she wants.

 

[Jazzey]

...I like the idea of you're teaching her that she will be ok Mary. And I hope that you can believe this for yourself- you too will be ok as long as you're willing to put the work into it...

And you're absolutely right - it doesn't matter what others think. We do this so that we can move forward, so that we can be ok...

Just remember to take care of you too in the process Mary. I know that all of this is taking a toll on you - you too will be ok...just keep doing what you need to do for yourself... :hug: :hug:

 

[forgetmenot]

I have increased my medication I hope it starts working soon. I just get so mixed up when it comes to my daughter. My psychologist understands I just need her here with me and i see her getting well i do. Thanks Jazzey i will get through this meeting tommorrow because i have to for her. take care mary.

 

[forgetmenot]

I hate being so afraid of people and everything. i want to call about the forms being filled out but can't. My sister called said she may go to group home in Toronto. I'm afraid for her I want her here with me. So much fear i hate me when i'm like this. Don't know if medication is right now or not. Sorry just thinking thats all mary

 

[Cat Dancer]

Why do you think you're so afraid of people?

 

[forgetmenot]

No trust people just hurt you no trust.

 

[Yuray]

Do you trust the people in these forums?

 

[forgetmenot]

The people on this forum are very supportive of me. I always have the fear that i might do something wrong or say something and someone will be angry with me.

---------- Post added later and automatically merged ----------

I guess in a way i am afraid of me of my stupidity. I don't trust me to do or say right things. I am afraid that i bring out this hatred in people. I am afraid thats all

 

[Jazzey]

You don't bring out hatred in people Mary. We feel your pain, and we empathize with it. But "hatred" never enters into the equation. I'm sorry that you feel scared here. No one here is angry with you...

 

[forgetmenot]

You don't understand Jazzey. Its me. Everyone throws me away in the end. Its me, I'm not smart enough, not good enough, i screw up and its my fault