Introductory Hello

[ConstanceWearing]

Hi everyone! I've had a long journey over the past 10 years, which was when my ex husband and I split up. I've been to university, partied hard, drank harder, started dating again, had 4 years of counselling, taken prozac, and all whilst trying to raise my children under the influences of depression and rumination.

I've straightened up a lot since then. Quit the prozac, the drinking, and the ruminating. I've worked very hard to overcome my hatred of my ex, who left me for another woman, so I'm not doing too badly in some areas. However, I've also noticed some patterns in my life, particularly in my behaviour and my choices of partner, which need serious reconsideration.

My dad was a violent alcoholic, and my mum was a cold fish. Furthermore, I was teased and bullied at school for being poor, wearing old-fashioned clothes, and having red hair. So I've grown up believing that people don't generally like me. There's no reason why they shouldn't, I just can't shake the belief that they secretly despise me. This has made me a terrible people pleaser, with all the stress, resentment, and lack of success that goes with that role.

So, that's me. And it's time it wasn't me any longer! I'm looking forward to making friends, sharing experiences, and mending along the way with you guys. Nice to meet you all

 

[Retired]

Welcome to Psychlinks, Constance! Thank you for joining us and I hope you find the help and support you might need.

I've also noticed some patterns in my life, particularly in my behaviour and my choices of partner, which need serious reconsideration.

What happens in these relationships?

So I've grown up believing that people don't generally like me.

You will be pleased to know that Psychlinks is a "No Judgement Zone" so we like you already!

Have a look around and feel free to join in any ongoing discussion or start some of your own; and, do let us know how we can help

 

[ConstanceWearing]

What happens in these relationships?

You will be pleased to know that Psychlinks is a "No Judgement Zone" so we like you already!

Have a look around and feel free to join in any ongoing discussion or start some of your own; and, do let us know how we can help

Lol that'll teach me not to be clever!

Hello Steve, thank you for replying As you can see, I can't copy quotes, but regarding my past relationships: I generally end up being totally subsumed by the other person's personality. I just seem to disappear amongst their wishes. People often tell me that they couldnt imagine me being walked over by anybody, but when it comes to somebody I love, that always happens. Even if I start off with the upperhand (say where a guy really likes me, but I am not yet that invested in the relationship) I always find it flips upside down, and I become subordinate, somewere along the line.

 

[GDPR]

Hello ConstanceWearing. Welcome.

 

[Retired]

As you can see, I can't copy quotes

Here's how to do it:

At the bottom right of the message you are reading, you have the option of "Reply with Quote" which will quote the entire post into the reply. This is a less practical method, unless you manually delete the irrelevant portions of the text..otherwise it makes a very large reply and surprisingly difficult to read.

The way I like to do it is to copy / paste the relevant text from the message of the person to whom I am replying as I did above. Next, highlight that pasted text in the reply message editor and click on the Quote Tool above the editor:



That places the BBCode tags at the beginning and end of your quote and will display as it does above.

You can always check the result before posting by selecting the Go Advanced option, then Preview the Post in the advanced editor.

When you compose a new post, you can preview your post without having to select the Advanced Editor, but when replying, you need to go to the Advanced Editor first.

To help familiarize yourself with BBCode, you might like : BBCode guide

The only tools we prefer not to use on Psychlinks are the font and color formatting tools, which would be more suitable for a more playful kind of Forum.

I've taken the liberty of editing your post to adjust for the quotes you intended...

I generally end up being totally subsumed by the other person's personality

Perhaps that has to do with avoiding to set boundaries, which can be discussed further in a discussion thread dedicated to that topic. We'll focus on welcoming you to the Forum in this thread and answering any Forum navigation questions you might have.

 

[ConstanceWearing]

Hello, Lost in Thought. Thank you

 

[Banned]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[ConstanceWearing]

That will take a few read-overs, for me, but thank you, Steve, for helping me out. I'm a bit techno-illiterate.
I will have a look around the site and try to get my bearings with everyone and everything.

---------- Post Merged at 06:10 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 06:09 PM ----------

Hello, Turtle! Thank you

 

[MHealthJo]

Welcome!

With regard to the technical aspects of the forum, if you find in the end that some things are quite tricky and a huge effort to work out, feel free to do some things in your own way - for example you could even just write: Quoting Steve - " xyz " .... then your response... Or, simply address the person by name, then respond ... it's up to you, really... The main thing is if things are basically understandable and you just do your best to keep the spirit of the forum and the forum rules in mind, you're good. We don't do the whole overly picky petty nasty thing here.

Hope that you can find lots of good information here. You've been through a lot and sound motivated to keep learning. Some authors I think you could benefit from could be Harriet Lerner, Brene Brown, Melody Beattie, and Laura Schlessinger.

Keep on truckin!

 

[rdw]

Welcome to the forum !

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi ConstanceWearing welcome to Psychlinks took me awhile to understand the computer in time you will get it Nice to meet you

 

[Andy]

Welcome to Psychlinks!:2thumbs: