Is it just me?

[ghost10]

Hey,
I started therapy last week. Today was my second meeting. I dont know what to do. I was abused by my sister and ex-boyfriend and saw my mom and sister be abused by my dad. Was I really abused by my sister though? My therapist seems to belittle it. Like he doesn't see why i'm struggling with it. Like it was just sibling fights. Was it? Is that possible? For me to think it was really bad and it just be normal? I have blocked out most of my life until 2 1/2 years ago. I hardly remember anything. Maybe I'm just blowing it up.
G

 

[ghost10]

any opinions? please

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Itg's difficult to comment, ghost, based on the minimal sketch you provide here. How much detail about the abuse from your sister and her boyfriend did you provide to the therapist?

When you postedf that, it was only your second session. Have you had additional sessions since and did it come up again?

 

[ghost10]

I was suppose to have my third this week but I had to cancel it. I was really sick and had to go to the doctor. I haven't said too much about my ex-boyfriend. I told him I'm still scared of him and think everyone that looks at all like him is him. I have definitely told him how bad it was with my sister. That she would beat me almost everyday. He just gets confused and is like, i dont get it? what do you want to get over?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

What sort of therapist is he?

 

[CarlaMarie]

I say patience it a virtue. That is a mighty high expectation on a therapist after two meetings for him to understand a relationship between sisters. They are not always what they seem. I speak from experience. Here is the way I approach therapy with my family stuff. If I already knew and understood what my family issues and problem were why would I be seeking therapy. What I have is a limited perspective based on limited information about a complex relationship. My Job is to give information at first not give answers. Then together we process as he can give missing information you may have that may not have perspective about. You are asking him to make a judgement. Is that realistic or do you just want him to acknowledge that you felt abused? Keep going back. Establish a relationship figure out what it is that you need from your therapist. Maybe you didn't feel heard?

 

[ghost10]

He is a counselor in my university counseling center. He's a student to be a psychiatrist. I was told they can be really good though.

CarlaMarie: It's hard to be patient. When I go home after I just cry for hours. He keeps saying that he doesn't understand what I want to get over and that it seems like i've already excepting everything. If that's true what do I still feel like this? I still think about everything that happened to me everyday. I definitely don't feel heard.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Where is he getting the idea that yopu've accepted it? Are you telling him you think you've accepted it? Or do you find yourself downplaying the abuse or talking in terms of how you've forgiven your sister, etc.?

 

[ghost10]

I really don't know. I was talking to him about my dad and how he was abusive also but how he died when I was really young. he was asking me how I felt about him dying and I said that i always feel bad saying it but It was a good thing that he died. If he didn't he would have continued to hurt my mom and sister. Right after I said that he said that that means I've accepted his abuse. And then with my sister he just keeps saying that he doesn't understand what I need to get over and accept. Like it doesn't seem like theres anything bothering me. It may have been a good thing that my dad died but it still effects me. I still think about it all the time. All the things I had to watch and had caused. I have not accepted anything.

I haven't told him that I'e accepted anything though. I tell him that I still think about things daily and that it's almost debilitating. I've told him how suicidal I was from everything and that I was anorexic. I have tried to be very open.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Maybe you need to be a little more assertive with him and let him know you don't feel like you've accepted any of it.