Back story:
I have been in the lives of my step kids (Girl-11, Boy-9) for approximately 6 years now. Their mother and I recently got married (Aug 2011) and we are a same sex couple. We share custody of the children with their biological father having one week with us and then one week with their father.
We are very open with the children and communicate with them about anything they feel they need to know. They are supportive of our lifestyle and we have a loving and safe household.
My son is very vibrant and funny. My daughter is very resistant and argumentative. She has to argue everything. Even before you finish a sentence her answer is "NO". I have a harder time connecting with her as it seems like it is always a battle. If she doesn't get her way or gets spoken to for doing something that she clearly shouldn't be doing or is not listening she storms off and cries.
I know that that is prepubescent girls for you but here is where i find it odd. When she does cry she will hide her face. She will not let you see her cry. I don't know if she is asahamed? or knows she was wrong? or just is scared? i don't know why she would feel she could not let anyone see that emotion.
She also cannot be in a room where there is no one. If you are upstairs she has to be upstairs. she will not go somewhere without a parent. She hates to be alone. We are trying to get her to try staying home alone for half an hour to get her prepared for her teenage years and babysitting as we know she really wants to start that soon.
She also has to always know what is going on. If you are not talking to her and are saying something she will pry or eavesdrop to try and find out what is going on. It is quite annoying as there are some things kids don't need to know but she is always listening to everything.
When it is time for her to go to bed she always needs to have lights on in her room. She will not sleep in the dark. Nor will she sleep with the door closed. She would freak out and cry if you accidentally closed it. She also still needs to be tucked in every night.
She is a very bright girl, overweight, dependant and very sensitive. I feel like there may be something amiss. It just seems like she may be harbouring emotions that she doesn't know what they are? Could it have been caused by her parents divorce? I am worried about her as it just seems like she should be trying to spread her wings but she is soooo stuck to the adults and afraid she is going to miss something that it feels like she will never live her own life? I know shes 11 but i don't want this to manifest into something that will cause her harm later in life.
Does anyone have any advice on what to do? How can i help my daughter.. or am i just reading too much into things?
Thanks
I have been in the lives of my step kids (Girl-11, Boy-9) for approximately 6 years now. Their mother and I recently got married (Aug 2011) and we are a same sex couple. We share custody of the children with their biological father having one week with us and then one week with their father.
We are very open with the children and communicate with them about anything they feel they need to know. They are supportive of our lifestyle and we have a loving and safe household.
My son is very vibrant and funny. My daughter is very resistant and argumentative. She has to argue everything. Even before you finish a sentence her answer is "NO". I have a harder time connecting with her as it seems like it is always a battle. If she doesn't get her way or gets spoken to for doing something that she clearly shouldn't be doing or is not listening she storms off and cries.
I know that that is prepubescent girls for you but here is where i find it odd. When she does cry she will hide her face. She will not let you see her cry. I don't know if she is asahamed? or knows she was wrong? or just is scared? i don't know why she would feel she could not let anyone see that emotion.
She also cannot be in a room where there is no one. If you are upstairs she has to be upstairs. she will not go somewhere without a parent. She hates to be alone. We are trying to get her to try staying home alone for half an hour to get her prepared for her teenage years and babysitting as we know she really wants to start that soon.
She also has to always know what is going on. If you are not talking to her and are saying something she will pry or eavesdrop to try and find out what is going on. It is quite annoying as there are some things kids don't need to know but she is always listening to everything.
When it is time for her to go to bed she always needs to have lights on in her room. She will not sleep in the dark. Nor will she sleep with the door closed. She would freak out and cry if you accidentally closed it. She also still needs to be tucked in every night.
She is a very bright girl, overweight, dependant and very sensitive. I feel like there may be something amiss. It just seems like she may be harbouring emotions that she doesn't know what they are? Could it have been caused by her parents divorce? I am worried about her as it just seems like she should be trying to spread her wings but she is soooo stuck to the adults and afraid she is going to miss something that it feels like she will never live her own life? I know shes 11 but i don't want this to manifest into something that will cause her harm later in life.
Does anyone have any advice on what to do? How can i help my daughter.. or am i just reading too much into things?
Thanks
