Is this more OCD or am I losing touch with reality?

[adaptive1]

I am trying to focus on other things besides this and keep busy in the hopes this medication will soon kick in, the psychologist is going to call the psychiatrist about suggestions on new medication ideas. I can hardly concentrate on anything, I start worrying about things and I have this imaginary conversation going on with my doctor the psychologist or anyone involved in what I am worrying about and now these conversations are out of control and they go on all day. I don't know if I am getting worse or if its just a different form of OCD or something more and I am dissociating for reality. I wish these voices in my head would silence,I try to let them come and go but it's so intense it doesn't stop at all anymore.

I hope it's just OCD doing that and nothing more.i don't need a twenty four hour doctor conversation going on in my head. I am really starting to question my sanity.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

We cannot, of course, know what is going on with any certainty, adaptive1. It could certainly be OCD: sometimes the OCD thoughts can be relentless, especially if your current medications are not helping as much as they should be to manage the symptoms.

I know it is difficult to be patient when you spend most of your time questioning, doubting, and wondering, but the best advice anyone can give you now is to wait for your doctors and therapists to review your symptoms and medications.

 

[adaptive1]

Thanks I know you are right and the more I focus on the thoughts the more they will strengthen their grip on me. I am sorry to be so annoying, I am trying as hard as I can to be patient. It's all pretty embarrassing too especially as I am sure my therapist will tell my doctor I am having imaginary conversations with everyone. I just wish I was different sometimes.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You're not being annoying. I know this is difficult.

 

[GDPR]

i don't need a twenty four hour doctor conversation going on in my head. I am really starting to question my sanity.

I'm really glad you posted about this.I experience the same thing.The only difference is I have been afraid to tell anyone about it. I have a hard time sleeping at night because of it,and I am having a hard time focusing on what I am doing because it's pretty constant.

I don't feel so embarrassed now that I know I'm not the only one that experiences this.Maybe I will even bring it up during my t session tomorrow.

 

[MHealthJo]

Its not annoying Adaptive! Definitely not.

Hang in there. I'm sorry..... it must be utterly exhausting. xx

 

[adaptive1]

Thanks very much for all the support. This is difficult I have to say and I feel guilty for complaining but the only place outside my doctors office And therapist i can talk about it is here. Otherwise I don't know what people would say. Even my family doesn't know about this.

lost in thought, thanks for saying you have this too, now I don't feel quite so bad either. Sometimes I think the conversations are more dissociation than OCD, like its an escape into an unreal world rather than dealing with or accepting reality. I can't figure out what conflicts I might be trying to avoid, or why this imaginary world gets more of my attention than the real one.

If I get any insight into it, I will let you know.

 

[Banned]

Adaptive I'm not diagnosed with OCD but I've experienced a lot of this in my past, especially during times of anxiety. I would stay up all night having these conversations. Not just during times of anxiety but especially during times of anxiety. The medication I'm on now has strong anti-obsessional properties and it has helped with this a lot. These long, exhausting, drawn out conversations definitely did not help my insomnia either that I struggled with for so many years.

I've been on two different medications now that have both helped with this, so a) don't feel guilty; you are not the only one and we get how frustrating/scary/anxiety-inducing this all is and b) hopefully you will get on to a medication that can help quiet your mind.

 

[adaptive1]

Thank you so much Turtle, that makes me feel so much better, you have no idea.:friends:

 

[MHealthJo]

Glad talking has helped a bit, Adaptive. Please don't feel guilty or hesitant. xx

 

[adaptive1]

I have a doctors appointment this week. I hope my doctor doesn't get mad at me for being such an idiot. I just don't think I can be on this type of medication, all I do is obsess about the side effects and it makes me want to skip meals so I dont gain weight. I know the secret is not to do what my mind tells me to do but gosh is it ever hard.

 

[adaptive1]

My doctors appointment was fine, I dont know why I worried so much about it. He switched my medication around, I am on two drugs now which I dont love but if it helps in the interim thats ok. I feel much more positive today, I have been totally exhausted by all this for so long, I am hoping that I can really do the work required to get better

 

[Cat Dancer]

Glad you're feeling more positive.

 

[adaptive1]

This drug combo practically put me into a coma this weekend,I slept almost the entire weekend. I hope it gets better next week, I am sure the tired effects will wear off. I am on seroquel 100 mg and Zoloft 50 mg. I know anti psychotics are used as ad ins, I don't know, I feel like giving up on the drugs sometimes, it is hard wondering if they will ever kick in and feeling like my doctor doesn't really have any idea either.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Is the plan to decrease the Seroquel and increase the Zoloft? If so, that should help with the sleepiness.

If not, let your doctor know ASAP what the Seroquel is doing.

 

[adaptive1]

I am not sure there is a plan and my doctor doesn't seem to know either what to do. Should I ask my doctor to tell me what his plan is at my next appointment or should we just keep experimenting in the hopes that something might work.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

If the sedation effect doesn't decrease very soon, I would call him and tell him this isn't going to work for you. I presume he's using Seroquel for the antiobsessional effects but there are other less sedating options, including Zoloft at higher doses (i.e., 100-200 mg), Prozac, and Luvox.

 

[adaptive1]

Thanks for your advice. I will do just that.

 

[adaptive1]

Definintely I will have to go back I feel so alone sometimes, pretending to the world everything is fine. I come to work everyday because I like my job and I need to make a living but I can hardly do my job right now. People are talking to me and I cant comprehend what they are saying and I try to read and I cant. I just keep smiling and hoping that my brain will start functioning now and trying to cover up how little work I am capable of and that I am getting people to pick up most of my work and no one seems to have caught on to it yet. Its hard watching the career I have built disentegrate into nothing and I just keep going along pretending to all my coworkers and people I know that I am doing great. Meanwhile I am trapped in my head and I cant focus on anything. I just sat in my car at lunch crying because I couldnt understand what was happening in the meeting this morning. I know thats not productive and I shouldnt feel sorry for myself, I just dont know what the problem is anymore and no one seems to know either. They just keep throwing more drugs at me that dont work and I am trapped in my head completely alone.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

That's almost certainly the Seroquel, adaptive1. Try and get in to see your doctor ASAP, and tell him/her everything you've told us here.