"It's like diabetes"

[Grace]

I can't pretend to be an expert on the condition - I'm someone who suffers from it.

I'd like depressed individuals and, especially, the parents of depressed children to read me for a minute.

Following my not-so-recent crisis, and my continuing recovery, I've realised that I've had depression, in varying degrees, since early childhood. There was no such thing as childhood depression in those days, and I had good coping strategies.

Eventually 'coping' wasn't enough: a couple of hefty shoves from outside forces, and I was reduced to a sorry wreck. It's not necessary to describe how bad it was - it was very bad. I'm lucky to be alive now. The shoves happened a decade ago; I'm still recovering.

Before I broke down, I was a high achiever. Fit, pretty, rich, successful & popular. I felt like a fake ... familiar story, huh? I thought so too. I read magazine articles about "impostor syndrome" and kind of assumed it explained my weird feelings: I was a classic working-class girl made good; fitted the post-war/boom profile perfectly. In short, the theory offered a glib diagnosis. I now know it went a whole lot deeper than that.

At present I'm physically & psychologically compromised, taking high doses of antidepressants and starting again from a base of nothing (my holdings & professional credibility went down the drain with my mental health). My biggest problem is getting others to acknowledge that I am ill. Sometimes, I have trouble with it myself - but I've experienced what happens when I refuse to accept it, so it's a mistake I make infrequently.

Depression is not "feeling sad" or "being down". It's a systemic disorder that impacts every aspect of healthy functioning. It is, certainly, possible to suppress it for a long time - but it doesn't go away, it festers. Since it is, still, a poorly-understood and socially alarming condition, the pressure to trivialise or ignore it can be irresistible.

How to overcome that social pressure?

Depression is not like diabetes but it is the metaphor I find works best. Like diabetes, it can't be "fought against" or ignored - do that, and the condition will ultimately kill you. Like diabetes, it can be managed. Medication and lifestyle adjustments, in both conditions, must be accepted as a matter of survival.

As an adult, I've found "I'm diabetic" provides a socially acceptable reason why I can't handle a night on the booze like I used to. When dealing with concerned relatives, who want (and yet don't want) to help: "It's like diabetes" gives them license to care without obligation
For the parents of psychologically-compromised children, "It's like diabetes" can help ease over talks with nervous teachers & carers; it can even aid the child in finding sympathetic friends.

For parents, of course, there are added concerns: like diabetes, the condition may have a genetic component (danger of getting into "whose family?" arguments) ... and the greater fear of origins closer to home, in emotional stressors to the child. Yet, even here, the diabetes metaphor can be helpful. When you are able to view mental illness as a manageable condition, two things happen: you gain the comfort that diagnosis can provide (an explanation; there is treatment, and you're willing to embrace it), and your feelings of urgency are dissipated. Once your child's receiving appropriate treatment, the pressure to 'fix it' immediately goes away.

For the depressed child, this relief of anxiety can be a tremendous help. The same goes for depressed adults, who are all too easily crushed by peer pressure, just like affected children.

Grace (only allegorically diabetic)

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'll add an allegorical "Thank you", too, Grace. I've used that analogy myself on occasion.

 

[Grace]

Really? Great to know I'm in such good company :2thumbs:

 

[BluMac81]

Wow, you read my mind, such a great post here, I hope all read it :2thumbs:

To amend to your "It's like diabetes" concept, there is the realization that the stigma of being 'depressed' is still out there. It bothers me when someone asks "What are you depressed about?", because that is a fallacy, it should be "What are you sad about?", because sadness is being sad because of something, depression is being depressed for no reason or at least no rational reason. That stigma is still there, and I notice a trend in my generation and younger (80's/90's born) that self-injury has become an outward physical signal to 'prove' to others that they are impaired, at work, at school, in their social life. The need to be recognized as being disabled has become that large, because otherwise, the depressed individual will fear being labeled as 'weak', a 'flake', 'lazy', etc. I cannot stress enough how much improvement depression awareness needs, especially in the work sector. Depression will sometimes have you completely out of commission of life, in bed for half a month, of course that is at it's worst. But depressed individuals DO NOT choose this, it is as you said, like diabetes, and the depressed individual has their good days and their bad days just like diabetes patients. It is just a shame to see many mentally ill individuals being 'punished' by society, like how you said your professional credibility went down the drain along with your mental health.

 

[Grace]

Thanks for your thoughtful reply, BluMac.

I hadn't made the connection between self-harm and the need to express deep-seated psychological distress. I suppose I must have been bamboozled, once again, by the superficial opinions of popular 'experts' in the popular press.

Your teenager cuts herself? Well, that's a worry. She's not mentally ill though, the fashion magazines have made her feel fat

So much effort goes into explaining away symptoms that actually originate from depression! It's alarming and, as you say, is itself a symptom of our society's fear of mental illness - common though it is. I hope the stigma against depression will continue to be eroded. After all, diabetes was a source of silent fear to my grandparents' generation ... and, therefore, went too often untreated.

As more of us find the words to explain our condition to others, the outlook for those who come after us may improve.

All the best,
Grace

 

[white page]

I agree with everybody:2thumbs: but the good news is, depression is curable, whereas diabetes is not

 

[Fiver]

Ah, I'd take exception to that statement, WP (just because I like to be contrary with you, just for the heck of it.) Is depression "curable" or is it "controllable," perhaps to a state where it can go into remission indefinitely? Diabetes sometimes can also be controlled without the need of medication if one is careful.

See, that's how I view PTSD/Depression now. I envision the day where it will be controlled to the point where I'll no longer need scheduled therapy or medications, but I'll always need to be aware of the things that can pull me right back into The Dark Hole. The diabetic who does not necessarily need to take insulin to control her glucose levels still needs to be vigilant and aware, just as the person who has spent time in The Dark Hole needs to be aware of the signs of relapse.

Just something to throw out there because I feel like it.

 

[white page]

Clinical depression is curable, however if it is a result of trauma, it will be chronic until the root cause is dealt with. We are both right Fiver
Ball back to you.

 

[Fiver]

Heck, I was just adding food for thought. I can always have my opinion swayed by convincing arguments. Well...about most things, anyway.

 

[tallshyone]

HHHmmm White you said...I agree with everybody but the good news is, depression is curable, whereas diabetes is not
I do believe it depends on the type of diabeties as well . There are some who after say weight loss, and changes to lifestyle can be say "cured" as well.
And yes it both require monitoring as not to relapse

 

[white page]

Okay Tallshyone you are right as well