• Quote of the Day
    "I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time."
    Anna Freud, posted by Daniel

stargazer

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Or won't let myself? The guy at the Crisis Line said to make some warm milk and do some reading. But I'm getting un-focusy from all the lack of sleep.
 

Banned

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Me too. I just took some Advil because my head hurts from not sleeping. I'm hesitant to take a sleeping pill, because then I will sleep til noon, which might not be a bad thing now that I think about it.
 

stargazer

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Well, it's about time when, in an hour or so, I'd normally have gotten up anyway, prepared to go jogging, etc. I might as well stay up to the sunrise, and not fight it. Just looking for people to chat with if you feel like PM'm me.
 

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I got about two hours more...maybe...so in total last night I slept a whopping 4 1/2 hours. I was supposed to have my car at the dealer at 7:30 this morning, but I'm going to cancel and rebook for next week. And then go back to bed. But just for an hour and a half (til 10am). Then I have to get up and paint my house...well, finish painting my house.
 

stargazer

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Haven't slept at all, two nights in a row. Am on my way down to Mental Health anyway. This is a hard one.
 

ThatLady

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Good luck, stargazer. Please keep us informed, hon. Not sleeping impacts all aspects of your life. It's really a terrible thing to have to deal with. :(
 

stargazer

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Man, this bureauracy is killing me, if nothing else is. I had to go all the way down into town 13 miles on the bus, they approved me to get some sleeping aid, then the doctors were too busy to write a script & I had to come home. All the while I was getting a big chest pain, so once I got home I went to Emergency at the local hospital where after they gave me an EKG they admitted me for 3 days and I just now was discharged. The doc gave me ambien at the hospital both nights, and I slept like a baby. However, I thought he was going to give me a bunch of them so as to continue sleeping, but he didn't. I think I'll go back & check. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

A lot of good things happened at the hospital, because I met with various social workers, and they expedited a meeting with a County doctor on Monday so I can get meds for my bipolar. I have to go down into town again, but eventually there will be local doctor visits once we work out the bureaucratic snags.

I'm way way manic right now. That's part of why it's been hard for me to commit myself to deal with all this. But after this week's hospital stay, I hope to stay motivated. Plus, I've got social workers advocating for me now, and everyone knows I'm serious.

There's more I could tell you, but maybe in private. Thanks for writing.
 

ThatLady

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All that sounds pretty encouraging, stargazer...discounting, of course, the fact that you had to be hospitalized! :yikes:

I do hope you're able to get things sorted out so you can start seeing someone regularly to help you deal with all the issues you're facing. In the meantime, give yourself a big pat on the back for trying so hard! :)
 

stargazer

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Thanks, but no pat-on-the-back is warranted, really. I actually don't try hard enough, and I get overly frustrated with the logistics of traveling from one office to another, especially when it means the long bus ride into town, dealing with the hot heat here between bus stops, the lengthy waits, and so forth. I give up too easily.

But I'm very close now to having the meds I need, so I might as well stick it out. And although I'm happy to be home, the hospitalization was a good thing. I'm impressed with the way they dealt with the situation, and really tried to get to the root of my problem, bringing in all the social workers. Also, a charity service is paying the entire bill, which last I checked was up to $7,900 USD. Probaby the total bill is around $12,000, and I qualified for payment from the charity up to $27,000. So that's all good, too.
 

Holly

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Hi stargazer,
I have had trouble sleeping before, if it happens now sometimes I try the following below:
listening to waterfalls music, soft music before bedtime. The elevator stuff...P.S. make sure you go too the bathroom first.
I also can suggest several boring books that would put you too sleep! :D
If that did not work, the bubble bath, filled with bubbles not too early before bedtime, with lots of candles in the bathroom it is so relaxing.
Have you tryed that yet?
good luck hjdesi
 

Halo

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I have to admit that a couple of weeks ago I had trouble getting to sleep. I felt like I just had too much energy to sleep. It was a first for me as normally I just crash and could sleep forever. Anyway, I thought of counting sheep in order to get to sleep but the funny thing was when I did that I started to imagine the sheep going over the fence backwards and their butts in the air which made me start obsessing about how big the sheeps butt was and I started to think that my butt was probably just as big and well....it didn't work. How thinking of counting sheep can lead me to thinking about my butt being too big...I don't know. I guess it is just how my brain works. Anyway, I just wanted to add that obviously for me I know that counting sheep does not work. I told a friend of mine this and after she laughed (and yes I laughed when I thought about it too....only after the thoughts had left) she suggested that I try to count them going forward over the fence, which seemed to work.

Okay, so why did I tell you all this... I just wanted to let everyone know that sometimes counting sheep backwards is not necessarily a good thing. :yikes:

Take Care
Nancy
 

stargazer

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I actually made it to sleep last night--pretty early, in fact. Only thing was, I got up really early too (3:30 in the morning, wide awake). But I feel rested.

A lot of this is because I let go of my project about a month ago, and in the void that remained I realized that my life no longer had any direction. So, in that complete openness to the Universe, I have not slept. Not sure if that makes sense. But I suspect I'll feel better once I'm taking care of my bipolar-hypomania once again. I had disregarded it forever.
 

ThatLady

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Nancy said:
I have to admit that a couple of weeks ago I had trouble getting to sleep. I felt like I just had too much energy to sleep. It was a first for me as normally I just crash and could sleep forever. Anyway, I thought of counting sheep in order to get to sleep but the funny thing was when I did that I started to imagine the sheep going over the fence backwards and their butts in the air which made me start obsessing about how big the sheeps butt was and I started to think that my butt was probably just as big and well....it didn't work. How thinking of counting sheep can lead me to thinking about my butt being too big...I don't know. I guess it is just how my brain works. Anyway, I just wanted to add that obviously for me I know that counting sheep does not work. I told a friend of mine this and after she laughed (and yes I laughed when I thought about it too....only after the thoughts had left) she suggested that I try to count them going forward over the fence, which seemed to work.

Okay, so why did I tell you all this... I just wanted to let everyone know that sometimes counting sheep backwards is not necessarily a good thing. :yikes:

Take Care
Nancy

I don't know if I've ever posted this here or not, but I tried counting sheep many years ago when I was having bouts of insomnia. A well-meaning friend told me not to count the black sheep. She was probably kidding but, as usual, I took her seriously. Now, up to that time there had been no black sheep. Suddenly, here they came! Black sheep! I got involved in keeping them out of the count. Before the night was out, I had black and white sheep and was in a fair muddle about whether to count them, count them as half a sheep, or slaughter them and have mutton. Needless to say, I was up all night. I've never counted sheep again.
 
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