Just Let Me Give In

[kelsischanging]

It's too hard....I had gastric bypass 13 months ago and I lost 200.6 pounds but it's too hard...I've turned to alcoholism and I'm bipolar and my psychiatrist has suggested an after work rehab program which I'm supposed to start tomorrow but it's just too hard...when I feel like I'm gaining ground on one field, I'm losing on another....there is no point...I will never get there with my whole life...it's not just like I'm stumbling...200 pounds...that's severely falling....I don't know that I can do it....can someone with obesity that large and bipolar disorder really ever do it...really every succeed?? Every other person in my family has succeeded....I'm the black sleep...it's obvious...let me go...

 

[Banned]

Re: Just Let Met Give In

No way, Kelsey. We've talked about this. Why the doubt? Is it doubt or fear? Are you afraid of giving up the alcohol?

 

[kelsischanging]

Re: Just Let Met Give In

I just can't give it up...but I fear that if it's not alcohol it will be something else....time to go...

 

[Banned]

Re: Just Let Met Give In

One thing at a time...part of this process is learning how to handle what triggers you so it doesn't have to be something else. But you're not going to learn that in five minutes. You didn't gain your weight in an hour and you didn't lose it in an hour. You didn't become an alcoholic in an hour and you're not going to stop drinking in an hour. You've got to break it down into baby steps that are manageable and not so overwhelming. Yes you're bipolar but you also know that is properly managed with medication and probably in your case psychotherapy. None of these things are death sentences but of ourse you're scared and overwhelmed entering treatment tomorrow. That's a reasonable response but you're also not doing it alone.

 

[kelsischanging]

Re: Just Let Met Give In

I don't know why I feel like tomorrow is the overwhelming treatment phase...I have had treatment for each phase of my illnesses along the way....I guess this is the first time I have had treatment for alcohol illness and I don't know how to go about that....I mean I know I can go about that ...it's just a challenge....sometimes, it just seams easier to not deal with it than to try and deal with it....suicide....but I KNOW I was meant to live...I tried to committ suicide when I was a freshman in college and I was close but no dice...God meant me to live...

 

[Banned]

Re: Just Let Met Give In

Exactly...you are meant to be here so take things one step at a time, know you have help and support, and you'll get through it a better and stronger person. It won't be easy but it'll be worthwhile.

 

[W00BY]

Re: Just Let Met Give In

There will be other things when you give up alcohol... but they can be positive things and they could take up as much time as your alcohol does now and as much of your thought.

It's up to you what that is...mines is word games (and playing soccer) in particular scrabble which has replaced drugs I now take pride in knowing some of the strangest words out there.

Everything from here on in is up to you and like I have said to you before anything is possible look at the changes you have made already alcohol will not let you build on this and that is what you need to remember at those low moments...it's all they are and they will pass.

 

[MHealthJo]

Re: Just Let Met Give In

Please hold on, honey, and get support here when you need it like you are doing now.... And anywhere else and any other way you feel you can get support....

Harmful addictions do nothing but keep you from knowing your beautiful self... they seem to offer something, but in your journey you will discover so much more and will realise that harmful addictions give you nothing, they only take, take, take....

One moment at a time....

Is there a helpline or support line in your area for those beginning a challenging journey like this, who could offer specific guidance and support for you along the way?

Also are there skills, exercises, self-care and self-soothing that you have learned along your journey so far, that you can turn to in this scary time? CBT, ACT, etc? There is lots of info here or online; perhaps the ideas of defusion from ACT, etc? There is also wonderful free material at get.gg and actmindfully.com.au.

You do not have to accept any label your family or anyone tries to give you... You are a beautiful, special, unique imperfect human facing challenges admirably; you will stumble then get up again... You deserve love, support, self-esteem and good health. You are far too special to lose out on the good things you can have as long as you continue on the better path ...

It wont be easy and you wont be perfect but keep getting back onto the better path. You won't ever be perfect or free of challenges, and you don't need to be to be special, significant, worthy, beautiful, self-loving, and 'good enough'.

xoxo