Letters to God from The Dog

[David Baxter PhD]

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ?Ford Mustang? the ?Ford Labrador??

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID?s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats? food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ?face towel?.
5. The rubbish collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad?s underwear when he?s on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone?s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ?hello?.
8. I don?t need to suddenly stand straight up when I?m under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house ? not after.
10. The cat is not a ?squeaky toy? so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it?s usually not a good thing.

 

[Eye Stigmata]

Too cute! Love it! Thanks for posting!