David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
How to let go and reclaim your life
by Henri Junttila for Positively Present
December 16, 2009
Letting go is easier said than done, or is it? It?s nothing new that we like to complicate things and I am no different. Making changes in your life only happens when you are truly ready. Your mind is meant to think thoughts and it can easily become overwhelming and frustrating, especially when you start to taking them seriously.
Letting go for me means allowing things to be as they are and accepting the present moment just as it is. For the longest time I wanted to control and was horrified of letting go. I am not saying that I do not do this now, because I do, but to a lesser extent. It can be hard to let go and be at peace when tough things come at you.
At those times all you can do is your best. One of the topics that gets me off-balance is money. I have a deeply rooted belief about money and being afraid of not having enough and not being able to take care of myself or the people around me. By being aware of my thoughts and just doing my best, I know that I am constantly making progress.
We live in a society where quick results are expected. To be honest, I am very impatient and get frustrated easily when things are not going my way. We all have our pet peeves and they are there for a reason. In year or three you will see how much you?ve grown. There is no rush to get anywhere and there is no competition. Enjoy the ride and have fun.
Let Go of the Past
?Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.? ~ Robert Anthony
Some people constantly think of the future, while others dwell on the past. The past is tricky, because your mind can distort and make you believe things that did not really happen, or you make the events that did happen worse. A good example is when you experience someone passing away that was very close to you.
The first reaction is to dwell on how much you will miss this person, but have you ever thought about changing your perspective? When I cannot just let go I will try different things to see if I am missing a piece of the puzzle. So instead of dwelling on what you have lost, you could think about the positive things and the moments you had that brought joy.
When you dwell on the past, you suffer now. Why are you doing that to yourself? Feeling bad, depressed and being negative is pleasurable in some way, which is one of the reasons we do it. We think it will bring us something. Being less serious about life will allow you to let go. Playfulness is something a lot of people are re-discovering, which is awesome. We have been way too serious up until now
.
Let Go of the Future
?The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.? ~ Chuck Palahniuk
Worrying about the future is my specialty. I project what will happen in the future and my mind convinces me that it is true. I won?t have enough money. No one will love me. I won?t succeed. Just a few years ago I was extremely negative, stressed and worried constantly about the future.
That was also the time I started meditating on a daily basis and reading books on spirituality, such as The Power of Now, which is still one of my favorites. When you really want to change, the tools will be given to you. It?s interesting how the universe works. We still have a lot to learn and can only marvel.
So what helps me let go of the future? The ability to question myself and realize that my thoughts are not the authority on the future. If you?re like me and tend to think about the future and not having enough, look inside and ask yourself how you can predict the future? Are you suddenly a psychic?
Playfulness is your secret weapon. So what if you end up broke and without friends? The cool thing about imagining the future is that it is most likely the worst it?s going to get. Have you ever imagined something bad and had it happen to you, and you went ?huh, that wasn?t so bad after all??
Let Go of the Fear of Rejection
?Nothing is miserable unless you think it so; on the other hand, nothing brings happiness unless you are content with it.? ~ Boethius
The fear of not being liked, of not being accepted or even respected is another big one for me. I?ve always been an introvert and always conscious of what I should and should not say. As I gathered more experiences under my belt, I started to learn that being yourself is the only thing that you can do.
Being someone who you are not takes a lot of energy and ultimately destroys you on the inside. Remember, when you?re trying to be someone you?re not, you?re attracting people that resonate with the person you are trying to be. In simpler terms: you are attracting people that do not match who you REALLY are.
I haven?t gone from an introvert to an extrovert yet, because it is always better to take things one step at a time. I have become more self-confident in who I am and letting myself be just a little bit ridiculous, because that?s who I really am. That?s who we all are. When I talk to people that have never met me they usually get that surprised look on their face thinking ?this guy is crazy? but then they usually also go ?but I like him?.
By being yourself, you are attracting those that you want to attract. If you?re looking for a soul-mate, you have to be yourself, because you are never going to meet the love of your life if you cannot love yourself.
If you are yourself and people reject you, you should be happy, because those people were not a good match for you anyway. See it as a filter. Be yourself, be playful and let go.
Let Go of Your Programming
?No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.? ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
When I got out of school at the ripe age of 18, I became a professional online poker player. It was a fun ride that taught me a lot about discipline, money, people and spirituality. There are a lot of things you have to let go of when you choose to make money in an unconventional way.
At an early age we start taking in the labels and beliefs of our parents, our friends and our culture. We are supposed to go out there, go to school, get a good job, a nice house, a nice car, get a kid or two, retire and do what we really want to do.
Why should you wait? If you?re unhappy now, then that is a sign that you?re not following your passion and doing what you truly love. I played poker for almost five years. Earlier this year I decided enough was enough. I had been sick of playing for the last few years and I was only doing it because I was afraid I wouldn?t be able to make a living doing anything else.
I jumped into building websites about topics I was passionate about. Even that wasn?t enough. Last month I started feeling like something was missing. This was not something I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life. Making money was great, but ultimately I wanted to help people grow.
If you?re waiting for something to happen, stop. There are no perfect circumstances. You will never be ready. I am not saying you have to do everything all at once. If you?re working in a job you hate and you love coffee, you can work during the day and start writing, video blogging or even podcasting about coffee on your free time.
You are the one who are responsible for how you react, how you feel, what you do and how your life looks. It?s easy to hide from that fact, which is exactly what most people do, but you are different. I can feel it.
It?s time.
Let go and reclaim your life.
You deserve it.
by Henri Junttila for Positively Present
December 16, 2009
Letting go is easier said than done, or is it? It?s nothing new that we like to complicate things and I am no different. Making changes in your life only happens when you are truly ready. Your mind is meant to think thoughts and it can easily become overwhelming and frustrating, especially when you start to taking them seriously.
Letting go for me means allowing things to be as they are and accepting the present moment just as it is. For the longest time I wanted to control and was horrified of letting go. I am not saying that I do not do this now, because I do, but to a lesser extent. It can be hard to let go and be at peace when tough things come at you.
At those times all you can do is your best. One of the topics that gets me off-balance is money. I have a deeply rooted belief about money and being afraid of not having enough and not being able to take care of myself or the people around me. By being aware of my thoughts and just doing my best, I know that I am constantly making progress.
We live in a society where quick results are expected. To be honest, I am very impatient and get frustrated easily when things are not going my way. We all have our pet peeves and they are there for a reason. In year or three you will see how much you?ve grown. There is no rush to get anywhere and there is no competition. Enjoy the ride and have fun.
Let Go of the Past
?Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.? ~ Robert Anthony
Some people constantly think of the future, while others dwell on the past. The past is tricky, because your mind can distort and make you believe things that did not really happen, or you make the events that did happen worse. A good example is when you experience someone passing away that was very close to you.
The first reaction is to dwell on how much you will miss this person, but have you ever thought about changing your perspective? When I cannot just let go I will try different things to see if I am missing a piece of the puzzle. So instead of dwelling on what you have lost, you could think about the positive things and the moments you had that brought joy.
When you dwell on the past, you suffer now. Why are you doing that to yourself? Feeling bad, depressed and being negative is pleasurable in some way, which is one of the reasons we do it. We think it will bring us something. Being less serious about life will allow you to let go. Playfulness is something a lot of people are re-discovering, which is awesome. We have been way too serious up until now
.Let Go of the Future
?The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.? ~ Chuck Palahniuk
Worrying about the future is my specialty. I project what will happen in the future and my mind convinces me that it is true. I won?t have enough money. No one will love me. I won?t succeed. Just a few years ago I was extremely negative, stressed and worried constantly about the future.
That was also the time I started meditating on a daily basis and reading books on spirituality, such as The Power of Now, which is still one of my favorites. When you really want to change, the tools will be given to you. It?s interesting how the universe works. We still have a lot to learn and can only marvel.
So what helps me let go of the future? The ability to question myself and realize that my thoughts are not the authority on the future. If you?re like me and tend to think about the future and not having enough, look inside and ask yourself how you can predict the future? Are you suddenly a psychic?
Playfulness is your secret weapon. So what if you end up broke and without friends? The cool thing about imagining the future is that it is most likely the worst it?s going to get. Have you ever imagined something bad and had it happen to you, and you went ?huh, that wasn?t so bad after all??
Let Go of the Fear of Rejection
?Nothing is miserable unless you think it so; on the other hand, nothing brings happiness unless you are content with it.? ~ Boethius
The fear of not being liked, of not being accepted or even respected is another big one for me. I?ve always been an introvert and always conscious of what I should and should not say. As I gathered more experiences under my belt, I started to learn that being yourself is the only thing that you can do.
Being someone who you are not takes a lot of energy and ultimately destroys you on the inside. Remember, when you?re trying to be someone you?re not, you?re attracting people that resonate with the person you are trying to be. In simpler terms: you are attracting people that do not match who you REALLY are.
I haven?t gone from an introvert to an extrovert yet, because it is always better to take things one step at a time. I have become more self-confident in who I am and letting myself be just a little bit ridiculous, because that?s who I really am. That?s who we all are. When I talk to people that have never met me they usually get that surprised look on their face thinking ?this guy is crazy? but then they usually also go ?but I like him?.
By being yourself, you are attracting those that you want to attract. If you?re looking for a soul-mate, you have to be yourself, because you are never going to meet the love of your life if you cannot love yourself.
If you are yourself and people reject you, you should be happy, because those people were not a good match for you anyway. See it as a filter. Be yourself, be playful and let go.
Let Go of Your Programming
?No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.? ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
When I got out of school at the ripe age of 18, I became a professional online poker player. It was a fun ride that taught me a lot about discipline, money, people and spirituality. There are a lot of things you have to let go of when you choose to make money in an unconventional way.
At an early age we start taking in the labels and beliefs of our parents, our friends and our culture. We are supposed to go out there, go to school, get a good job, a nice house, a nice car, get a kid or two, retire and do what we really want to do.
Why should you wait? If you?re unhappy now, then that is a sign that you?re not following your passion and doing what you truly love. I played poker for almost five years. Earlier this year I decided enough was enough. I had been sick of playing for the last few years and I was only doing it because I was afraid I wouldn?t be able to make a living doing anything else.
I jumped into building websites about topics I was passionate about. Even that wasn?t enough. Last month I started feeling like something was missing. This was not something I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life. Making money was great, but ultimately I wanted to help people grow.
If you?re waiting for something to happen, stop. There are no perfect circumstances. You will never be ready. I am not saying you have to do everything all at once. If you?re working in a job you hate and you love coffee, you can work during the day and start writing, video blogging or even podcasting about coffee on your free time.
You are the one who are responsible for how you react, how you feel, what you do and how your life looks. It?s easy to hide from that fact, which is exactly what most people do, but you are different. I can feel it.
It?s time.
Let go and reclaim your life.
You deserve it.
