Let me start off by letting you know im 17 (18 on oct.28! whoo!!) I'm generally an optimistic person, or try to be. and like every one else im trying to get by in life. But at this moment I feel overwhelmed. I grew up not knowing my father, and being raised by my grandma, godmom, and my disfunctional mom. My mom is and alcoholic, has been my whole life. she has had many boyfriends in my lifetime, and doesnt seem shes going to be slowing down soon. I know shes done drugs, and i have little respect for her, but i do show her respect. I have lived with my grandma, godmom, and my uncle my whole life. My uncle, however, is now mentally insane from doing extacy and acid, and who knows what else. So i've had first hand experiences of drugs and alcohol, and know thats not what i want. Around the age of 7, my mom had this boyfriend, tommy, who had a 10 yr old son, t.j. t.j. did some things to me i dont have the courage to tell a soul. And in my english class, we've been doing alot of reflecting on our childhood, and this is all i can think of. It's like a gray cloud following me everywhere. I want to tell someone, but im scared, and ashamed. I have a job at my local dairy queen. I felt the need for a job so i can help out my family with money issues, being that my mom didnt have a job (she got one a week ago). School just started and its just another load on my plate. But then I think, but if anyone else can have this life plus even more stress, and they do it, so can I. And all these thoughts go through my head, back and forth, and i dont know whats right. to feel sympathy for myself, or to keep going through with my head up high. But this secret i've held for years is starting to eat me inside. but one awesome thing happened to me this summer. I found my dad. I'll skip all the details, but I'll tell you hes great. i love him alot. I just wish I knew him before. and i found out i have a half sister, who is the sweetest 12 yr old i know. Just being a teen is stressful, or is that just another excuse? I just dont know. I dont know what to think, or how to feel. I just want to tell someone my secret, and maybe they'll understand and help me. im just lost and confused. please help.