Losing my mind

[Ashley-Kate]

Only people with an eating disorder understand what its like when you are sick like a dog all day and the only thing on your mind is not " omg my eating disorder is hurting my body " its more along the lines of " oh*** you lazy piece of *** get up and go do your jogging" I hate myself i hate my head i hate everything about me. I hate the fact that i cant will my body to stop functioning i hate that i cant shut off the little voice in my head that is screaming at my every move or my lack of move..

 

[adaptive1]

Re: losing my mind

I know it must be difficult for you, I don't hate anything about you and neither should you. I admire your fight and courage and perseverance and you don't have to get up and exercise, you don't have to do anything but take care of yourself.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: losing my mind

I don't hate anything about you either hun You have one goal hun today that is to shut off that voice and to take care of YOU ok im sorry you are struggling hun but you said yourself you have gotten to that place of peace once you can again h un hugs

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thinking of you. I know how hard it is. Is there something you can make yourself do that would be enjoyable and relaxing like read a book or do you have a hobby or something you like? I know it doesn't make things better but sometimes it helps to get your mind off stuff.

 

[Budoaiki]

Ashley-Kate,

There are many things about you beyond the physical and beauty is so subjective, as the saying goes it's in the eye of the beholder. I know society with media depicitions of people in digitally manipulated photos creat unrealistic expectations of beauty but they aren't realistic.

I know something of what it's like to be frustrated with your body, my own problems with my back can cause me intense crippling pain.

Diversions like Cat Dancer mentioned, are invaluable and can be very productive when this happens by helping take my mind off of it. I hope I didn't overstep or offend by mentioning the whole media aspect but I know it affects a lot of people.

Maybe when you are having a good day you can make a list of things you like about yourself and things that make you happy so when you have an off day you can look at it for some levity.