When I was a kid, I got into a lot of trouble... I was always hyper, loud, impulsive and easy distracted which labelled me "trouble-maker" at home. My parents used guilt and shame to straighten me out, and always compared me to how good, respectful, obedient and quiet my older brother was. My parents were ashamed of me because I was unruly and acted like a boy.
My mom always told me I was the most selfish and insensitive because I made her look like a bad parent, and I brought shame to the family. I never understood what she meant by that. All this was when I was in elementary school. I am 26 now and I am overly sensitive to how other people feel and I am very careful not to upset anyone - even if it means that I will be negatively affected in the process. Also, I am always concerned about how people look at me, but at the same time I hate being judged and I constantly feel like I'm a let down. Before I do or say anything I always think about how it would affect those around me and if I think it's cold and insensitive I won't do or say anything. I always end up getting hurt, making excuses for anything bad other people have done, I keep giving them second chances and letting them walk all over me, but I am careful never to let anyone see me sad, hurt, angry or upset.
My friends say I'm always spaced out, too caring and too easy going and that I am naive, overly optimistic and see the world through rose coloured glasses. Whenever something bad happens, I pretend that it didn't happen. I feel like a doormat and I constantly feel like I'm being selfish and inconsiderate especially as far as my parents are concerned but my brothers think I'm too hard on myself and I try to hard to please everyone. They think I should tell my parents to stop running my life but I don't think that will solve anything and I don't really like confrontations.
I tried talking to them a few times and they made me feel like I was the most stupid, selfish and evil person to walk the face of the earth. I just feel like I have created this false person - I can not be myself and I have lost my identity. I'm so tired and frustrated of being me. How do I fix me?
Another thing is that I used to get a lot of compliments on my looks as a kid but I guess my parents didnt want to let it get to my head, and so they told me that I was ugly and fat and had a big nose. So now I hate receiving compliments and I don't know what to say when I get compliments.. so I just ignore people or change the topic when they give me compliments.
I talked to my parents about getting a nose job done but now they tell me that I'm vain and I should be happy with my looks. But my mum always tells me that I look disgusting and she doesn't understand how I have friends. Now that its summer, I've got a tan, and I put on a few pounds eating ice cream and other comfort food and my mum said that I looked like one of those black and white cows grazing in the field.
I haven't gone out since... I hate being seen in public - I feel like a walking monstrosity. I feel so torn and I constantly isolate myself from people. My friends are worried about me especially when I turn off my cell phone and camp out in my room for days on end and pretend that nothing has happened. I've just been giving them excuses about not keeping in touch with them, and calling in sick to work constantly. But I think they are beginning to suspect something amiss.
I don't know how to fix this.
Please help. I don't know what to do to and I don't know how much more I can take.
My mom always told me I was the most selfish and insensitive because I made her look like a bad parent, and I brought shame to the family. I never understood what she meant by that. All this was when I was in elementary school. I am 26 now and I am overly sensitive to how other people feel and I am very careful not to upset anyone - even if it means that I will be negatively affected in the process. Also, I am always concerned about how people look at me, but at the same time I hate being judged and I constantly feel like I'm a let down. Before I do or say anything I always think about how it would affect those around me and if I think it's cold and insensitive I won't do or say anything. I always end up getting hurt, making excuses for anything bad other people have done, I keep giving them second chances and letting them walk all over me, but I am careful never to let anyone see me sad, hurt, angry or upset.
My friends say I'm always spaced out, too caring and too easy going and that I am naive, overly optimistic and see the world through rose coloured glasses. Whenever something bad happens, I pretend that it didn't happen. I feel like a doormat and I constantly feel like I'm being selfish and inconsiderate especially as far as my parents are concerned but my brothers think I'm too hard on myself and I try to hard to please everyone. They think I should tell my parents to stop running my life but I don't think that will solve anything and I don't really like confrontations.
I tried talking to them a few times and they made me feel like I was the most stupid, selfish and evil person to walk the face of the earth. I just feel like I have created this false person - I can not be myself and I have lost my identity. I'm so tired and frustrated of being me. How do I fix me?
Another thing is that I used to get a lot of compliments on my looks as a kid but I guess my parents didnt want to let it get to my head, and so they told me that I was ugly and fat and had a big nose. So now I hate receiving compliments and I don't know what to say when I get compliments.. so I just ignore people or change the topic when they give me compliments.
I talked to my parents about getting a nose job done but now they tell me that I'm vain and I should be happy with my looks. But my mum always tells me that I look disgusting and she doesn't understand how I have friends. Now that its summer, I've got a tan, and I put on a few pounds eating ice cream and other comfort food and my mum said that I looked like one of those black and white cows grazing in the field.
I haven't gone out since... I hate being seen in public - I feel like a walking monstrosity. I feel so torn and I constantly isolate myself from people. My friends are worried about me especially when I turn off my cell phone and camp out in my room for days on end and pretend that nothing has happened. I've just been giving them excuses about not keeping in touch with them, and calling in sick to work constantly. But I think they are beginning to suspect something amiss.
I don't know how to fix this.
Please help. I don't know what to do to and I don't know how much more I can take.
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