David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Love - Is it ever too late?
Mindscape
May 4, 2012
Love. You never know when it will touch your life. One thing for sure, from what I've seen, it can appear when you least expect it, so one should never give up hope.
I would like to share with you, two examples that particularly warm my heart.
My husband's Aunt suffered greatly in her late teens. Having been born in 1920 in Prussia, she and my father-in-law saw the days of the invasion of their town by Stalin's Army. They came in taking over their home, which was a waterfront Victorian on the Baltic Sea as their temporary headquarters, forcing them out with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They wandered, along with fellows townspeople for hundreds of miles in search for refuge.
Squatting in a bombed out farm house basement, they found whatever food was available to survive. Unfortunately, his Aunt was captured by Russians soldiers and subject to weeks of endless rape. Later, both she and my father-in-law were taken prisoner and shipped off to Siberia to work camps for the next 5 years.
Not surprisingly, in the years to follow she did not find love, nor did she seek it. A confirmed spinster. she never dated or married. I must say so, when I met her I was taken by her spirit and hardiness. A world wide traveler, she would always send us pictures from her trips. She was and still is a truly amazing and independent woman and survivor.
At age 80 we received news that she had at last met the love of her life. He was age 90; a former doctor. They married in a formal wedding among friends and family; living proof that it is never too late. Together they traveled, and enjoyed every moment together. He passed last year at age 100. Although she is once again on her own, her life has taken full circle and she has experienced the love she without question had rightly earned.
Another story is of a fellow co-worker of my husband. He had met his wife and fallen in love at an early age. They immediately set out to have a family, after all, in his day and age (the 60's) that was what was expected. Unfortunately, he was unhappy, in spite of loving his children and trying to be the best father possible. Once they were grown and had left the nest, he came to the realization that he had been living a life dictated by society and culture, but not his heart and true nature.
One day he finally had had enough. He approached his wife and said he was leaving her. It wasn't that she was a unfit wife or a bad person in any way; it's just that he had comes to grips with the fact that he was gay. After a difficult and painful divorce, he moved out and moved on. One may think this was a simple choice, however, the world (especially here in the U.S) does not make this an easy transition, let alone for an older man.
Finally one day, through an on-line dating service he met someone that he clicked with. They had much in common. Both were scientists, enjoyed the same hobbies and sports and both had been married and divorced. They began dating and shortly afterwards they became partners in a civil union. Again, you never know where or when true love will enter your life.
I tend to believe from my own experience, that it shows up when you least expect it or aren't actively pursuing it. I had been through countless bad relationships and had given up on dating, although in my case I was only 22 at the time. For a year I either sat at home or got together with friends. I truly believed that love was not in my future. Then one night, I was working out at a gym I had just joined and a young man my age walked by and said goodnight. The moment our eyes met, I felt as though I had known him my entire life. We began dating.
Within four weeks, love had blossomed and we knew we were meant to be together for the rest of our lives. Now some may say, that was far too quick; how could we know we were truly in love? Granted, if one of my children said there met someone and considered marriage that fast, I would be concerned, but here we are, 30 years later and still happily married, so I guess it was meant to be.
So be patient and never give up. Love comes in it's own due time. No one misses out unless that's what they have chosen for themselves. It can and will happen. And if you are ever feeling insecure and unsure, reread this post and take it's message to heart. Like my mother always said, "There is a cover for every pot."
Mindscape
May 4, 2012
Love. You never know when it will touch your life. One thing for sure, from what I've seen, it can appear when you least expect it, so one should never give up hope.
I would like to share with you, two examples that particularly warm my heart.
My husband's Aunt suffered greatly in her late teens. Having been born in 1920 in Prussia, she and my father-in-law saw the days of the invasion of their town by Stalin's Army. They came in taking over their home, which was a waterfront Victorian on the Baltic Sea as their temporary headquarters, forcing them out with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They wandered, along with fellows townspeople for hundreds of miles in search for refuge.
Squatting in a bombed out farm house basement, they found whatever food was available to survive. Unfortunately, his Aunt was captured by Russians soldiers and subject to weeks of endless rape. Later, both she and my father-in-law were taken prisoner and shipped off to Siberia to work camps for the next 5 years.
Not surprisingly, in the years to follow she did not find love, nor did she seek it. A confirmed spinster. she never dated or married. I must say so, when I met her I was taken by her spirit and hardiness. A world wide traveler, she would always send us pictures from her trips. She was and still is a truly amazing and independent woman and survivor.
At age 80 we received news that she had at last met the love of her life. He was age 90; a former doctor. They married in a formal wedding among friends and family; living proof that it is never too late. Together they traveled, and enjoyed every moment together. He passed last year at age 100. Although she is once again on her own, her life has taken full circle and she has experienced the love she without question had rightly earned.
Another story is of a fellow co-worker of my husband. He had met his wife and fallen in love at an early age. They immediately set out to have a family, after all, in his day and age (the 60's) that was what was expected. Unfortunately, he was unhappy, in spite of loving his children and trying to be the best father possible. Once they were grown and had left the nest, he came to the realization that he had been living a life dictated by society and culture, but not his heart and true nature.
One day he finally had had enough. He approached his wife and said he was leaving her. It wasn't that she was a unfit wife or a bad person in any way; it's just that he had comes to grips with the fact that he was gay. After a difficult and painful divorce, he moved out and moved on. One may think this was a simple choice, however, the world (especially here in the U.S) does not make this an easy transition, let alone for an older man.
Finally one day, through an on-line dating service he met someone that he clicked with. They had much in common. Both were scientists, enjoyed the same hobbies and sports and both had been married and divorced. They began dating and shortly afterwards they became partners in a civil union. Again, you never know where or when true love will enter your life.
I tend to believe from my own experience, that it shows up when you least expect it or aren't actively pursuing it. I had been through countless bad relationships and had given up on dating, although in my case I was only 22 at the time. For a year I either sat at home or got together with friends. I truly believed that love was not in my future. Then one night, I was working out at a gym I had just joined and a young man my age walked by and said goodnight. The moment our eyes met, I felt as though I had known him my entire life. We began dating.
Within four weeks, love had blossomed and we knew we were meant to be together for the rest of our lives. Now some may say, that was far too quick; how could we know we were truly in love? Granted, if one of my children said there met someone and considered marriage that fast, I would be concerned, but here we are, 30 years later and still happily married, so I guess it was meant to be.
So be patient and never give up. Love comes in it's own due time. No one misses out unless that's what they have chosen for themselves. It can and will happen. And if you are ever feeling insecure and unsure, reread this post and take it's message to heart. Like my mother always said, "There is a cover for every pot."
