Making it on your own

[Ashley-Kate]

hey , well i am starting a new plan for myself reproducing my hospitalisation oputside of the hospital doing what they did with me making it on my own making my own healthy meals knowing wich portions are right and what i s not and my goal is to be able to eventually function normall yes i know it probably won't be easy it probably won't work right away and it will take time thati will probably fail a couple of times but i need to do this cause i can i know i can and i just have to keep my motivation high so wish me the best cause now i am sick of being this way an di have to stop and change this no one can exept for me !
ashley

 

[Into The Light]

that is great that you have decided to do this for yourself. it sounds like you are taking some control of your life, and that is always a positive. do you have friends and family that can support you along the way? these things are always made a little easier with that kind of support.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Good for you, Ashley! I wish you the best of luck in your determination. :goodjob:

 

[Ashley-Kate]

i was wrong to believe that i could make it on my own. i don't think it is all a matter of motivation anymore cause i feel trapped and i so badly want out. i know how to get out but i just can't. i feel as though i am losing too much.

ashley

 

[David Baxter PhD]

This is something that you need to talk to your therapist about, Ashley. It's not uncommon with eating disorders to have that sense of needing to hang on to it - sometimes it can feel like it's the only thing you have any control over in your life, so it's scary to think of giving it up...

 

[Ashley-Kate]

my psychologist told me that she believes that i have OCD that it would explain the reaosn i am so scared of losing this aspect of my life and soo scared to gain weight to become fat cause i obsess about it .. i even admit i know i am not fat and that starving myself is not the way to not be that way but i feel so convinced thatit could maybe work that i don't want to take the chance to start eating normally
sounds pathetic but i just can'T stand these thoughts anymore and they won't go it's constant it not even that i am fat or anything it's the fear that if i eat normally i will be fat
yours trully ashley