Male Depression

[David Baxter PhD]

This one is for the guys
by Christine Stapleton, PsychCentral Blogs
March 1, 2009

A survey sponsored by the American Academy of Family Physicians found that 78 percent of all married men who visited a doctor had been influenced to do so by their wives. Which means we women - whether we like it or not and whether we are married or not - need to know the symptoms of depression in men.

Some are like ours:

• Hopelessness;
• Fatigue;
• Inability to focus;
• Problems sleeping and eating;
• Feelings of guilt and hopelessness;
• Thoughts of suicide.

Been there. Done them all.

Symptoms of depression in men often include

• violent or abusive behavior;
• inappropriate rage;
• escapist behavior, such as overwork or excessive sports;
• risky behavior, such as reckless driving;
• promiscuity;
• alcohol or substance abuse;
• and more frequent thoughts of suicide.

But wait! There?s more! It is a really biggie: Erectile Dysfunction... Turns out depression can cause E.D. and E.D. can trigger depression. The trick is knowing the difference and that is best left to a doctor, which is where we women come in.

Men need to know that for some, testosterone replacement alone can relieve and even eliminate symptoms of mild depression, Roose said. However, doctors often go overboard with testosterone replacement and over medicating with testosterone can cause more problems, Roose said. Antidepressants are effective for those guys with more serious symptoms.

Getting a guy to take an antidepressant is worse than ?suggesting? he stop and ask for directions. So, here is what men and women need to know: Yes, some antidepressants can cause ED. But - and it is a really big ?but? - MEN CAN TAKE E.D. MEDICATION WHILE TAKING ANTIDEPRESSANTS, Roose said.

Why is this such a big deal NOW? Because research has found - not surprisingly - that men who buy into the John Wayne-esque ideal of manhood and those who measure their worth by their bank account are less likely to seek treatment. There is nothing like getting laid off, losing your home, your ability to send you children to college and to have sex to drive a stake through a man?s manhood.

Finally, we need to know that while women attempt suicide twice as much as men, men are four times more successful. So ladies, we need to understand that these men are sick - not losers. They need understanding and maybe a kinder, gentler kind of hen-pecking to get them to the doctor. But we must keep trying.

Christine Stapleton has been a reporter for The Palm Beach Post for 23 years and in 2006, began writing a column entitled, Kicking Depression.

 

[Daniel E.]

Struck by lightning or slowly suffocating -- gendered trajectories into depression

Most of the men in our study considered that their bodies were suddenly "struck" by external circumstances beyond their control. The stories of study women were more diverse, reflecting all four illness narratives. However, the dominant pattern was that women thought that their depression emanated from internal factors, from their own personality or ways of handling life. The women were more preoccupied with shame and guilt, and conveyed a greater sense of personal responsibility and concern with relationships...

The narratives that characterized the depression as "Struck by lightning" were told mostly by men. In all these stories the course was described as "sudden" and the source as "external". The informants were affected by circumstances beyond their control. Examples included employer bankruptcy, stock market loss, accusations of sexual harassment or, most commonly, insufferable assignments at work. One man described a combination of these circumstances when he suddenly found himself unemployed and with huge debts:

I worked for [X-constructors] and they went bankrupt. we, the employees had bought convertibles. so I lost about 56 000 at one go. I had bought a house at the same time and they told us that because of the bankruptcy we would be unemployed.

Another man, father of two children and entrepreneur, talked about how he drove himself so hard that he almost risked his life:

I drove double races toward the end... I looked in my calendar and it's totally horrendous how I ever thought I could manage...but I was out of it... I jumped the red lights.

The informants often recalled the exact moment and situation when they "fell ill" as an unexpected and frightening experience, like a bolt from the blue, often with acute physical implications. They presented physical symptoms, such as chest pain, stomach problems, and breathing difficulties, often described in dramatic terms. One woman compared falling ill to an explosion:

I had a physical pain in my stomach. It felt like a hole, as if something had exploded, there is nothing left. I am empty.

A man recounted the moment as a collapse:

I simply collapsed. It was at night and I was going to the toilet. I jumped out of bed, passed out, fell and hit the bedpost and punctured a lung and broke a few ribs. As I did in those days, I lay at the intensive ward on Friday, and Monday I was back at work.

All informants in this category described themselves as hardworking and found it difficult to set limits. "I could've worked myself to death" was a recurrent statement. Men in this category gave priority to their work and experienced intense work-related pressure and stress. Family issues were rarely mentioned as the source of illness, although all but one man were parents and had children at home. Leisure time and family responsibilities were seen instead as disturbing hindrances to work, as one man stated:

Weekends, God, how boring. Friday was nice, but Saturday mornings I woke up and, gosh, just stayed at home for the sake of being at home in case the children needed food or...

He described further how he was unable to take pleasure in his children. He felt he was supervising them rather than caring for them.

Narratives of the two women in this category, both with careers in the academic field, touched on dual spheres – home and work. Still, it was work-related pressures that were the source of distress. One of the women saw a clear correlation between her ill-health and her workplace that suddenly had become dysfunctional with "a bullying boss and fellow workers". The illness manifested itself as totally physical:

I couldn't manage any more...breathing heavily like I'd got pneumonia...it felt like I was going to have a heart-attack and when I came to the work-place I felt like I was going to throw up.

Home and family were acknowledged and seen in a positive light:

I was happy, I had a very stable family, both my own family, that's my husband and my children, but also my old family, my siblings and so on. They could acknowledge me – that of course I was a very precious and particularly competent person (laugh).