Managing Money With Less Anxiety

[Retired]

Financial security can lay a foundation for emotional security because when one's financial state is in chaos, the frustration can lead to anxiety, guilt, anger, family tension and all that comes with it.

Sound financial planning starts with creating a budget, and living within that budget. It isn't always how much we make, but what we do with what we make that counts.

However these times have brought about unusual circumstances such as home foreclosure, excess credit card debt, job loss, shrunken investments, and rising costs.

Psychlinks may not provide financial counseling, but by offering suggestions that provide some direction, it is hoped that the stressor of financial worry can be reduced and hopefully eliminated.

If you have found yourself in a difficult financial situation lately, please share your experience by replying to this discussion, so others who may have figured out some creative ways to solve similar problems might share their experience, which might be helpful.

 

[NicNak]

I used this service Credit Counselling from Credit Canada - A Credit Counselling Organization They were fantastic! They are a non-profit organization so there are no fees involved with their services.

They went through all my debt and decided it was best for me to declare bankruptcy, as I was getting sicker and not working much.

The Bankruptcy Trustee they recommended was fabulous. The bankruptcy went through no worries and I got my full discharge in February.

With the mental issues I was facing, it was just one last thing to worry about. Bankruptcy isn't something to be taken lightly, obviously, but it came down to my health issues. I was glad to have had this option. It was such a relief, and the trustee and Credit Canada were very supportive all the way through.

 

[ladylore]

I am not an expert in financial planning by any means. I went from a great paying career to having to go on disability because of PTSD. It has been tricky but I have managed to pay all my bills and have a bit of money in the bank.

But I don't have any how to's to share.

 

[Trust]

I am like Ladylore - I'm certainly no financial wizard, but I can manage okay.

As I have aged, I have become better at sticking to a budget. Credit and the easy way to attain it (in the past) has not helped me or many others live on the concept of cash - there is such a concept isn't there? The new economy will certainly be the impetus we need to learn more about that old-fashioned idea.

I shamefully admit I have never been able to save a cent, at least not long term, so kudos to you Ladylore!

And NicNak - I appreciate your courage to share your situation with us and it may well help others in a similar circumstance!

Anyway, money is a necessary evil - we need to earn it and spend it on things to survive but if we had a little more common sense about the frivolous things we buy, we would all fare better economically, IMO. Okay for those of you whom are completely responsible and sensible about finances and credit and spending, disregard that last all-consuming comment.

I know for me I would like to simplify my life so I wouldn't need so much money to live well. And I think needs are too broadly defined these days - 900+ channels for cable tv; cell phones with endless features - does anyone here remember what a busy signal sounds like? Designer duds, gas guzzling SUVs, slate countertops; stainless steel appliances, etc. etc. We are spoiled IMO - but once we have become accustomed to a lifestyle, it is hard to do without the perks. And whatever one's perception of going without happens to be, it is not a nice place to be so I agree with TSOW that financial security does aid mental health and emotional stability - but I am not qualified to show anyone the way there.

I waste thousands of dollars a year on my addiction - cigarettes - gee that is terrible! When I quit, I want to put that money away for my retirement - tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow, it's only a day away. . .

 

[Charity]

 

[Jazzey]

$400 / month for cigarettes - right here....I'm guessing that's what the :yikes: is for Charity? A pack of cigarettes here is $12. Not a cheap addiction by any stretch of the imagination.

 

[Charity]

I actually had quite a different reaction to that last post... I just didn't want to put it into words and risk sounding... unkind. That's not something I want to do here in this special place.

Yes, cigarettes are quite expensive. I look forward to leaving that expense behind, though it's not quite as bad here-- around $5.00 a pack.

 

[ladylore]

Even before the addiction and the PTSD became prominent I was at a point where I was counting change in order to eat. I don't know how I managed to keep a roof over my head because I couldn't even afford rent. Never mind groceries, phone, electricity.

Now I am very careful as I never want to be that poor again. Since recovery I handle money much better as I guess I no how close I got to being on the street.

Now I shop daily for what I need for that day. I have a 'change jar'. I pay my bills when they come in so I don't avoid paying them out of fear. I don't have cable, I use pre-paid phone cards for long distant calls (you can only make local calls from my phone). I don't own a cell-phone.

It's tough at at times but I guess I am use to it by now.

 

[Charity]

Counting change to buy food... that sounds familiar. :hug:

Some people just don't know what it's like. I think many of them think they do, but they don't.

 

[Trust]

Hey Charity!

I'm sorry my post effected you and made you feel I don't understand poverty. Perhaps it was my comparison to how some people adopt a lifestyle of what I deem luxuries but many people these days from my vantage point consider these things needs.

I was very poor as a child. I have done well enough in adulthood through my own good fortune and effort. I have had to count change when I have been broke too - many times - and I have had worries about having enough to eat and keep a roof over mine and my kid's heads - and I have smoked all along and always managed to scrape the pennies together to feed my habit. I'm not proud of that but it is a reality - I mean the shame I feel about the cigarettes - yes even when I make light of it and joke.

Please don't ever feel you have to stifle your true opinion around me - to spare my feelings - I really can handle whatever you have to express directly to me and I don't want you to feel inhibited in any way. I can't speak for others in this regard, but for me you can tell me the truth. I hope I can do the same with you. I'm sure whatever communication thing arises we can work it out together or agree to disagree and still be "friends".

I feel bad that my words effected you and caused you to feel I don't understand poverty. I actually do understand that when people experience deprivation in any way - especially with respect to their basic needs - it has a huge impact on one's life, it is a painful experience! Sometimes when we are poor we feel less than worthy, sometimes we simply feel hungry with no way in sight to relieve that ache, sometimes we feel hopeless, we worry about everything and every worry gets magnified when money is scarce or non-existent - poverty leaves lasting scars. Believe me I do know and I am sorry for reminding you of yours.:hug: I am not poor by my own perception of poverty these days - I have enough and I am grateful, but I never forget what it feels like to be poor and constantly struggling to change that fact.

 

[Charity]

Sorry... It's just a very touchy subject for me.

Still friends.

 

[Retired]

When attempting to reset a lifestyle to conform to the new reality of limited resources, does it make sense to abandon using credit cards, and pay cash for all expenses?

In other words, under the reset lifestyle one would buy only what can be paid for out of cash on hand.

 

[NicNak]

When attempting to reset a lifestyle to conform to the new reality of limited resources, does it make sense to abandon using credit cards, and pay cash for all expenses?

In other words, under the reset lifestyle one would buy only what can be paid for out of cash on hand.

Bankrupsy has removed any possability of me using credit cards, I had to turn them over. I pay cash now for everything. I considered getting a secured credit card, where I would put an advance of $500.00 on it and keep paying it back. This would help build my credit. The bank is not risking anything since it is all really my money. I would just be showing I can manage it.

I am still not sure if I want to have a credit card now at all. I think back to how it was before and the idea of it scares me. The banks increase credit limits like there is no tomorrow. I guess I am afraid to slip again. As the saying goes "once bitten, twice shy"

 

[Trust]

Hey TSOW - Yes, I think that would be ideal - maybe not practical or possible for everyone - but it would be better than accruing heavy debts that just add more burdens to life.

For me, it will be years before I pay off my debts, and by that time the economy will probably have recovered. I have difficulty resisting using credit to buy unnecessary things and have at times used it to buy things I have needed which is not a good situation. Credit keeps me harnessed to the past - I'm constantly paying for yesterday's pleasures or needs and ideally I would like to be current - cash only would be nice but for me I don't know if that will ever be possible. Some credit is necessary for most people anyway - houses, cars - the big ticket items we need and don't have enough time to save for to pay upfront.

 

[Retired]

Credit keeps me harnessed to the past - I'm constantly paying for yesterday's pleasures or needs and ideally I would like to be current

Trust,

Are you saying you are paying minimum payments on your credit card bills, and carrying a balance month to month?

If so, you must certainly be aware of the exhorbitant interest rate being charged on that debt, resulting in an ever growing outstanding balance, not to mention the inflated cost of the purchases you made.

If indeed this is the situation, have you considered budgeting a sensible repayment program to wipe out the credit card debt in, say one or two years...the sooner the better?

 

[NicNak]

Although I probably will need another car sometime, credit still scares me I plan to save up my money as best I can to try to pay it out as much as posssable, just incase my car gives up on me.

When I looked back to my pre-bankrupsy spending, it was way out of hand. I often spent money to buy things thinking it would make me feel better to have a new "treat", really it was only a temporary "high".

Now that I hit rock bottom and am slowly bringing myself back up. It really made me realize what is truly important to me.

Growing up, we didn't have much and my parents really struggled to keep my brother and I clothed. Mom went without a lot to provide for my brother and I. After I finished high school, I lucked into a Government position which offered me lots of room for advancement. Everything was looking great for Mom and I.
I really wanted her to have the things she sacraficed for me too.

Then various tramas happened and slowly chipped away at me. Resulting in unpaid sick time, then bankrupsy.

Maybe cause being on disability pention and being sick a lot recently it has made me feel less than secure. I always seem to have the idea that the rug could be pulled out from beneath me any day, once again. I am really too afraid to venture to credit. The banks are so eager to give it out, but when push comes to shove, they won't help us manage it when things get bad.

I remember I went into the bank I had my credit with and litterally begged them, crying to help me and they wouldn't.

I am really too afraid to trust that things will be ok, if I take credit out again. If I can even get it.

 

[Trust]

:lol: Yes, thanks, TSOW - I have a repayment plan but it will take me another couple of years to get in the clear and realistically, I don't foresee a time that I will forego completely using credit cards, or credit for ie a car. I need a car for work.

If I quit smoking I would get out of debt sooner but even thinking about that stresses me out tonight!

 

[Jazzey]

In my "better" days, I did a weekly budget of money coming in and going out. I find the visual of it all really helped. I had a strict budget for everything right down to the groceries. On Sunday, I would remove the cash needed for the week. And once it was gone, it was gone.

I'm slowly trying to get back there. As for credit, I've often been offered more than I felt I could afford and have fought the bank to bring it down to where I wanted it. Ironic...Every month, I have to advise the bank to reduce the credit limit on my one and only credit card - because I'm trying to protect my credit rating (and I'm always afraid of credit fraud).

Looking forward to getting back to a place where I know exactly what's coming and going out. That's definitely a daily concern for me - with all of the medical stuff this year, I find that it's been difficult to keep track (or to care) - but then another bill comes in and I worry about whether the amount is in the account.

 

[Retired]

reduce the credit limit on my one and only credit card - because I'm trying to protect my credit rating (and I'm always afraid of credit fraud).

There should be little or no concern about the credit limit of a card and potential for credit fraud from my understanding.

Unauthorized charges to a credit card are never charged to the card holder when reported to the card issuer; and furthermore your house insurance usually provides for a $50 deductible if the card issuer insists on charging you.

The best protection against credit card fraud is to regularly (preferably weekly) check the charges online to verify all charges.

Effective strategies to protect against credit card fraud include:

• not letting your card out of your sight when paying,such as not allowing a waiter to go off with your card unattended in a restaurant,
• when paying with a card, watch that the clerk swipes your card in only one device, to prevent cloning your card,
• when providing credit card information over the phone, make sure no one is close by either copying the information you are providing or photographing your card using a cell phone
• never paying at the pump for gas/fuel but rather in the office. Pumps have been known to contain credit card cloners
• Never give your credit card number to a telephone caller who calls you, but rather to a business to which you initiated the call
• Verify all charges on every statement with your receipts

I don't understand how keeping a credit limit low protects your credit rating. My understanding is one of the factors used to evaluate one's credit score includes the percentage of the credit limit used.

More information on Credit Card Fraud: Canadian RCMP

 

[Jazzey]

I may be wrong Steve - a friend of mine (who's a banker) explained that the credit limit is used for factoring in future liabilities when computing the ratio for credit. So, the higher the limit, the lower the ratio for 'available credit' to your name. It means that when you want a loan, the amount of the loan will be reduced because your liabilities are higher. It's irrelevant whether or not you've actually used that limit or not. So I tend to keep my limit very low for the factoring.

But again, I say this without having a real appreciation of how that credit equation really works.