I've had many OCD themes over the years and am happy to say I've been symptom free for many years now. I just wanted to share how my personal OCD works. I've discovered this through using mindfulness which is stepping back from your thoughts and observing them and discovering what your brain is doing. My bad thoughts always begin with an urge to see what kind of ugly thought I can come up with. I then feel compelled to think a bad thought as a result to see what happens. My disturbing thoughts always come from checking to see what bad thing I can think. I know I'm doing this and I also realize that it isn't coming from me but from a OCD created mental exercise which I refuse to be afraid of. Through practice I can usually do preemptive refusal to check but if I do check the thought I refuse to ruminate about it, sometimes I make the thought even worse and stay with it for a few minutes for a little ERP exercise. I know OCD controls us through fear and I refuse to back down and allow fear to creep in. I know my OCD bully and I just tell him to "bring it", NO FEAR.