Missing therapy when you are sick

[Marcel]

Is being sick a valid reason for cancelling a therapy appointment?

I completely lost my voice this morning but it is back in fine croak-like frog form now so I guess I could technically still communicate during the session. But I periodically have to cough (bark!) too.

I find being sick completely humiliating (personal issue) and I can't bear the thought of letting the therapist see me sick. And yet to cancel, I will have to admit to her that I am sick. I very rarely get sick and will not even acknowledge to anyone that I am sick on those rare occasions when it occurs.

Going to therapy is the only thing I look forward to in a week - and at the same time is the very worst thing that I don't want to do or face in the week. So cancelling will mean that I miss something I really want - and at the same time let me avoid something I absolutely dread.

I don't think I am at the contagious stage so I don't think I would make the therapist sick (she is more often than not always suffering from allergies anyway).

What to do? Any advice?

PS I'm not sick by the way - this is just a hypothetical question.

 

[Jazzey]

That's very cute Buffy.

Hypothetically speaking of course, if I were sick with a raspy voice but could still communicate, and I knew that I wasn't contagious, I would go to the session. Especially since that's one of the things that I look forward to.

But I'd also bring a bottle of water so that I could frequently take a sip to sooth my voice during that session. All of this hypothetically speaking of course.

And, I hope you feel better very soon - if you were sick that is. :hug:

 

[white page]

This is a hypothetical answer Buffy, working with a therapist can only work if you are open and honest.

So if you are sick I would telephone your therapist and say that though you hate admitting that you are sick , you are in fact sick , and though you really look forward to your appointment you are in fact relieved that you are sick as you dread going at the same time, your therapist will probably make a further appointment and suggest you discuss this issue with him/her.

take care wp

 

[Banned]

If you are sick it is definitely a valid reason to cancel the app't, Buffy. I've had to cancel in the past an hour prior to my app't because I woke up violently ill. My own therapist has been extremely understanding and knows I only cancel when I"m really, really sick.

Depending on your therapist, she may or may not still charge you for the app't if it is cancelled less than 24 or 48 hours prior. My therapist doesn't, but I don't abuse it either.

I hope you feel better soon and get your voice back. That dry, scratchy feeling is terrible!

 

[forgetmenot]

HI Buffy55 hope you feel better soon. Your T will understand take care

 

[Marcel]

I called to cancel and the return message was are you cancelling because you didn't do the homework and don't want to deal with the issues. One time I overslept and was COMPLETELY humiliated that I was too late for the session - and we spent the entire next hour discussing the "real" reasons I overslept -there was NOTHING else to it except that I overslept. Now I am going to have to discuss the "real" reasons I wanted to cancel ...when the reason was just because I was sick. So I "uncancelled" and will go and discuss "a reason" that doesn't exist for an hour....

 

[Banned]

Wow Buffy, your therapist is bold! That can be a good thing, lol.

Don't discuss a reason that doesn't exist for an hour. If you didn't do the homework you didn't do the homework but if you truly believe you cancelled because you were sick then that's what you need to say. Where your therapist is coming from, though, is that often being late, cancelling, etc are signs of resistance - not wanting to face the issues. Your T obviously wants to see if there's any resistance at play and only you know that.

Good luck at your app't though - at least try to get some rest after!

 

[Jackie]

Buffy55,

If it was me and I was sick I would have cancelled end of story! Does it really matter whether you have done your "homework" or not, its a therapy session not school! As for feeling humilated about being late, again its a therapy session she shouldn't be making you feel bad, you overslept, so what, it happens. I would question the level on which she is treating you, its almost like a naughty child instead of an adult whose going to therapy, sorry just my opinion having read your post. Hope you feel better soon:hug:

 

[forgetmenot]

Hey Buffy55 I am sorry T is questioning your honesty here. Just by your raspy voice she should tell you were sick. I agree with others go and talk with her and tell her you were sick end of it. Then discuss what you need to in therapy. Take care hope you are feeling well mary

 

[Jazzey]

I have to say Buffy, if I'd received the same sort of comments, I'd be a tad miffed about it. Those kinds of question are worth asking maybe - but there is a tactful way of doing it. And doing it when you're calling sick isn't one of those ways...

It's too bad because a reaction of this sort is, for me, a very strong incentive to walk...Again, this is very personal but I lose credibility with people who treat me like a child.

I hope you're ok Buffy. Try to set it aside for now and take care of yourself. But do broach this the next time you see her. :hug: :homer:

 

[Marcel]

Thanks for your responses. It is nice to have someone listen to and support you. I really appreciate it.

Turtle, I agree with you about the therapist's motives for making her statements. And she did also indicate that I was welcome in therapy regardless of whether homework was done.

And as Turtle and Mary said, it is my responsibility to just tell her there was no hidden meaning to the cancellation and that I want to move on to other topics during the session.

But as Shuttered and Jazzey said, I now feel so humiliated and ashamed like a scolded child who has received a lecture. Maybe I should breathe germs on her to get even...oh no wait, now that would be childish....

Thanks again for the feeback.

 

[Jazzey]

Buffy, try not to worry about it for right now. Just feel better. But, as I said in the previous post, this is something I would broach with her.

But wait, before you take this on - you should know that I can be a little confrontational when I'm treated like a child...

Take good care of yourself honey :hug: :hug:

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi Buffy thanks for the laugh i needed one. "Maybe I should breath germs over her to get even Oh no wait that would be childish" Just know we believe you and I hope you get well soon. take care mary