My cat was brutaly murdered by a pack of wild dogs. They attacked her at night while I was sleeping. I woke up to the sound of their barking and quickly chased them off. I thought I had saved her, but it turns out that dogs have really strong jaws. It always surprises me how fragile living creatures are. How one minute they can be fine, and beautiful, and the next be fighting for their lives with a long haul of recovery ahead of them if they are lucky to even make it. And even though someone can obviously be in a terrible condition, no amount of warning has ever prevented me from feeling shocked.
It might sound kind of petty to some maybe, that I would mourn my cat so deeply. She was a great friend though, especially when I lived alone. At one point she was the only one I had to come home to, and I live in a dangerous neighborhood, so it was important. I just wish I could have done more for her.
I was talking to my friend a couple weeks ago on the front porch over cigarettes, and told her, my boyfriend went crazy, and my cat died. And she said, "well, you can replace both of them". I know it sounds terrible, but she has a unique sense of humor, and says things that are totally out of line. It wasn't offensive to say the least.
It might be true that I could replace the boyfriend, but I will not be getting another cat to cover up silence. It's a tremendous committment anyway.
In any case, it was kind of weird, how oddly comforting the funeral was for me. I woke up to find her dead and didn't know what to do, until it occurred to me that I would have a funeral, a really small one, with probably just another person, but the digging and preparation was really comforting. I wish funerals now didn't feel so artificial. I hate the smells too. And the thought of being preserved with chemicals I find repulsive. It reminds me of the smell of frogs you dissect in biology class.
Another thing that bothers me is the make up. I remember they put make up on my mom when she died and it was just totally weird. People commented on what a good job they had done, but it's so stupid I think, and pointless.
When I die, I want to be buried in a biodegradable coffin, in the ground. No chemicals. Unfortunately I don't know if this is even legal.
Just some thoughts.
-g
It might sound kind of petty to some maybe, that I would mourn my cat so deeply. She was a great friend though, especially when I lived alone. At one point she was the only one I had to come home to, and I live in a dangerous neighborhood, so it was important. I just wish I could have done more for her.
I was talking to my friend a couple weeks ago on the front porch over cigarettes, and told her, my boyfriend went crazy, and my cat died. And she said, "well, you can replace both of them". I know it sounds terrible, but she has a unique sense of humor, and says things that are totally out of line. It wasn't offensive to say the least.
It might be true that I could replace the boyfriend, but I will not be getting another cat to cover up silence. It's a tremendous committment anyway.
In any case, it was kind of weird, how oddly comforting the funeral was for me. I woke up to find her dead and didn't know what to do, until it occurred to me that I would have a funeral, a really small one, with probably just another person, but the digging and preparation was really comforting. I wish funerals now didn't feel so artificial. I hate the smells too. And the thought of being preserved with chemicals I find repulsive. It reminds me of the smell of frogs you dissect in biology class.
Another thing that bothers me is the make up. I remember they put make up on my mom when she died and it was just totally weird. People commented on what a good job they had done, but it's so stupid I think, and pointless.
When I die, I want to be buried in a biodegradable coffin, in the ground. No chemicals. Unfortunately I don't know if this is even legal.
Just some thoughts.
-g