For years, my nickname with many of my family, friends, and even boyfriends has been and probably will be for quite some time, worrywort. Some people even figure it out about me just after first meeting me.
It's obvious though. I mean I always am a thinker. I'm always worried about worst-case scenarios, and believe that they're going to happen. I try and stay positive but it rarely ever works out for me.
For instance, my ex-boyfriend Chris, who I was with for 3 1/2 years, even lived with him for part of those years, I had emmense trouble learning to trust. His friends would always talk about the stripbars and I just could never trust him around other girls. I'd been cheated on in the past and that memory came back to haunt me always. Plus, after I would go to sleep in the bedroom, he would go onto Hentai and porn websites and start doing "his business" to them, while his own girlfriend was in the bedroom. As you could probably tell, I had alot of trouble trying to get myself to the point of believing I could trust. But when we went to an SCA event (SCA=Society For Creative Anacronism, a medieval recreation group, where flirting is highly done) he disappeared one night, leaving me wondering around the site, telling myself to trust him and that everything would be fine, and then finding him and having him tell me that he kissed another girl twice, then expected me to climb into our encampment tent and have sex with him like it didn't even matter. That just broke my trust into a million pieces.
Ever since then, my trust has always been a problem in relationships, and my worries start being amplified. I worry about money issues, family, relationships, work, college, pretty much just like any other human in this world.
My question is, when worrying starts to run your life to the point that you cannot get any control over your self-esteem, positivity, or even your mind, what do you do? How do you focus? My worries get so bad that I cry myself to sleep and it drives me to the point of wanting to run away or end it all.. (as I've posted in other forums) But this is what my MAJOR problem is, and I need help!!!
It's obvious though. I mean I always am a thinker. I'm always worried about worst-case scenarios, and believe that they're going to happen. I try and stay positive but it rarely ever works out for me.
For instance, my ex-boyfriend Chris, who I was with for 3 1/2 years, even lived with him for part of those years, I had emmense trouble learning to trust. His friends would always talk about the stripbars and I just could never trust him around other girls. I'd been cheated on in the past and that memory came back to haunt me always. Plus, after I would go to sleep in the bedroom, he would go onto Hentai and porn websites and start doing "his business" to them, while his own girlfriend was in the bedroom. As you could probably tell, I had alot of trouble trying to get myself to the point of believing I could trust. But when we went to an SCA event (SCA=Society For Creative Anacronism, a medieval recreation group, where flirting is highly done) he disappeared one night, leaving me wondering around the site, telling myself to trust him and that everything would be fine, and then finding him and having him tell me that he kissed another girl twice, then expected me to climb into our encampment tent and have sex with him like it didn't even matter. That just broke my trust into a million pieces.
Ever since then, my trust has always been a problem in relationships, and my worries start being amplified. I worry about money issues, family, relationships, work, college, pretty much just like any other human in this world.
My question is, when worrying starts to run your life to the point that you cannot get any control over your self-esteem, positivity, or even your mind, what do you do? How do you focus? My worries get so bad that I cry myself to sleep and it drives me to the point of wanting to run away or end it all.. (as I've posted in other forums) But this is what my MAJOR problem is, and I need help!!!