More threads by Angel

Angel

Member
For years, my nickname with many of my family, friends, and even boyfriends has been and probably will be for quite some time, worrywort. Some people even figure it out about me just after first meeting me.

It's obvious though. I mean I always am a thinker. I'm always worried about worst-case scenarios, and believe that they're going to happen. I try and stay positive but it rarely ever works out for me.

For instance, my ex-boyfriend Chris, who I was with for 3 1/2 years, even lived with him for part of those years, I had emmense trouble learning to trust. His friends would always talk about the stripbars and I just could never trust him around other girls. I'd been cheated on in the past and that memory came back to haunt me always. Plus, after I would go to sleep in the bedroom, he would go onto Hentai and porn websites and start doing "his business" to them, while his own girlfriend was in the bedroom. As you could probably tell, I had alot of trouble trying to get myself to the point of believing I could trust. But when we went to an SCA event (SCA=Society For Creative Anacronism, a medieval recreation group, where flirting is highly done) he disappeared one night, leaving me wondering around the site, telling myself to trust him and that everything would be fine, and then finding him and having him tell me that he kissed another girl twice, then expected me to climb into our encampment tent and have sex with him like it didn't even matter. That just broke my trust into a million pieces.

Ever since then, my trust has always been a problem in relationships, and my worries start being amplified. I worry about money issues, family, relationships, work, college, pretty much just like any other human in this world.

My question is, when worrying starts to run your life to the point that you cannot get any control over your self-esteem, positivity, or even your mind, what do you do? How do you focus? My worries get so bad that I cry myself to sleep and it drives me to the point of wanting to run away or end it all.. (as I've posted in other forums) But this is what my MAJOR problem is, and I need help!!!
 
I found this information HERE How to stop worrying:

For many of us, worry is a viable emotion, a place where we work out solutions to some of the conflicts and problems we all come across.

Perhaps the worst thing about worry is that by the time you realize you're overly concerned, you're also overwhelmed by the sheer bulk of the problem.

Practically speaking, most things are easier to handle in small pieces, and worry is no exception. Often, spending some constructive time to dissect the problem is all that is needed to set oneself on the road to a solution. Here are five steps you might deem helpful the next time you find yourself a traveler in the land of worry.

1. Constructive worry begins by taking the time to look at the problem. It helps here to write the problem on paper in an attempt to get perspective. Remember, even Adam had to name the beasts before he could rule over them, and the same principle applies when trying to put your finger on what is really bothering you.

2. Once you've identified your concerns, make a list of three things you can do towards solving or at least bringing a measure of relief towards each problem. Don't hesitate to list even those things you absolutely don't want to do. Just writing them down can lessen the power they can have over you to exacerbate your worry.

3. Take one problem at a time and implement just one of your solution steps toward solving the problem. For example, I recently had a problem on my tax return. I was so worried that I'd done something to cost us extra money that I was losing sleep. I called the IRS the next day, even though it was such a scary thought I didn't want to face them. Guess what. That phone call saved me hundreds of dollars. Had I just written a letter as I originally intended, I would have spent another month worrying about the resolution to the matter.

4. Sometimes the problem is beyond us. That's when it's time to get advice and help. A wise person seeks council. Don't be afraid to get the help of a friend or professional. Sometimes, just listening to yourself describe your problem can be very enlightening.

5. And yet, in spite of our best efforts, we can't solve everything. Some things must be turned over to a higher power. In some cases, it may be A-okay to let go of our expectations, or just learn to love. Sometimes, all we can do is let go.

Worry is not the enemy. But, our inability to handle worry can wreck our health and peace of mind. By implementing these suggestions, you may be able to better handle the 'solution process.'


There's also some good stuff about anxiety here: http://www.psychlinks.ca/pages/anxiety.htm

More stuff here: http://www.ehow.com/how_13316_stop-worrying.html

And here:
http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/stop_worrying.html

I don't think it's practical to think we can totally STOP all worrying, but there are things to make life go a little easier.
 

Daniel

daniel@psychlinks.com
Administrator
A minor point: I find it a little helpful to listen to music with titles like "Let Go" (by Frou Frou), "Bring it On" (by Seal), or "Lullaby To An Anxious Child" (by Sting).
 

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