Need resolution

[ecshoho]

I am so confused, lost and don't know what to do. I have been seeing my T for about 7mo. She is great. I feel as though I can trust her and be honest with her. The problem is the issue of transference. I have tried to bring this up, throwing out a little here and there, but the issue has never really been hit head on, so the problem has not been resolve. My question is, do I bring it up again? Maybe just lay it all on the table this time. I feel like I am beating a dead horse by bring it up again. The truth is though, if I don't get this monkey off my back, I don't think I can move forward. I just worry that if I continue to bring it up and she keeps skirting around it, she may become upset. Upset because she feels like this is a non issue or upset because I keep bring it up. I don't know!

Cas

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I am so confused, lost and don't know what to do. I have been seeing my T for about 7mo. She is great. I feel as though I can trust her and be honest with her. The problem is the issue of transference. I have tried to bring this up, throwing out a little here and there, but the issue has never really been hit head on, so the problem has not been resolve. My question is, do I bring it up again? Maybe just lay it all on the table this time. I feel like I am beating a dead horse by bring it up again. The truth is though, if I don't get this monkey off my back, I don't think I can move forward. I just worry that if I continue to bring it up and she keeps skirting around it, she may become upset. Upset because she feels like this is a non issue or upset because I keep bring it up.

It sounds as though you really haven't "brought it up" yet, though:

I have tried to bring this up, throwing out a little here and there, but the issue has never really been hit head on

If it's something that's distressing you, try to bring it up again in a more direct way - if it makes you uncomfortable, some people find emailing the therapist ahead of time or writing it down and handing the therapist a note at the start of the session can be beneficial.

 

[Daniel E.]

Also, as a reminder, these in-therapy issues are good to address directly since they may relate not only to therapy but to other areas of life:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-and-therapists/23582-new-to-therapy.html

 

[ecshoho]

Thanks for the replies. I did address this with my T at my session this week. This time I was sure to be direct about the issue. As always, she was very supportive and caring. We did talk about it and all boundaries were respected. The problem now is this, the talk didn't help the way I feel about her. It did help with the worries I had that something was wrong with me. But, I still have the feelings, worry about being her best/favorite client, worry about somehow disappointing her, etc... Therapy is hard enough without all of this. I can't help but wonder if I would have been better off never starting therapy at all.

 

[Daniel E.]

worry about being her best/favorite client, worry about somehow disappointing her, etc... Therapy is hard enough without all of this

Well, to go back to your previous thread, you mention there that you "suffer with anxiety, OCD." So anything that help treats the anxiety/OCD can also help allay these particular worries. (With general anxiety and OCD, for example, what one is worrying about is not the major issue. It's how one reacts/relates to such thoughts that is important, as is one's tolerance of uncertainty.)