New here - looking for advice.

[Kobayashi]

Hi All,

I'm male, 36, well employed and have a beautiful family: Boy 3, Girl 5 and my lovely Wife. I never in my life thought I would be posting to a forum like this. I've been on some others recently, but they were mostly for looking up side effects from the meds I (was) on.

It all started 4 months ago. I was living my life and ran into some pretty stressful stuff at work. I began to get really stressed out and couldn't sleep. Then, all of a sudden I began having these horrible intrusive thoughts. My thoughts centered around harm, specifically, that I would lose control and hurt my children or my wife in a violent manner. I thought I was going nuts. I got quite depressed and went to see my doctor.

My doctor felt that I was suffering more from depression and therefore put me on celexa. That was a disaster. After two weeks of the stuff I became so depressed that I almost became suicidal. (Never been there before, don't want to go back). So, she took me off that stuff and put me on Cymbalta. This stuff helped at first by lifting me out of my depression, but I had to come off of it due to insomnia and all sorts of other gnarly side effects. This is VERY nasty stuff. Withdrawal has been much worse than being on the drug.

Anyway, I've been off it 3 weeks and am back where I started, except I'm not really depressed. More, irritated by my withdrawal from cymbalta combined by these intrusive thoughts.

I've been reading and discovered that these thoughts may be a form of OCD. Nobody has diagnosed me with this, but I have found some comfort by coming to the realization that I'm NOT insane, and that I would never act on these thoughts. I bought the book brain lock which has lead me to this forum.

How does one go about asking for a screening test to see if you have a mild form of OCD? I took the test in the book, and I don't have any ritualistic behavior, checking or anything - just these thoughts.

Not sure where to turn. My Doc is a pill pusher and it takes 2-3 months to get in to see a shrink in my area. Anyone have any advice? Am I barking up the wrong tree? One of my fears is that I may be encouraging the onset of full-blown OCD by researching how to get rid of the thoughts! (This in itself may be some sort of sign)..

Cheers all.

K

 

[Daniel E.]

it takes 2-3 months to get in to see a shrink in my area

I would suggest making an appointment soon. For OCD-like symptoms, therapy is usually more effective than medications alone, though not as effective as meds + therapy.

Regarding meds, you may want to ask your doctor about Luvox. You may also want to get on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist.

How does one go about asking for a screening test to see if you have a mild form of OCD?

Any psychiatrist or psychologist who has experience with OCD patients could provide an evaluation. One can have OCD without compulsive behaviors.

OCD, at the end of the day, is a form of anxiety, so I don't get too concerned about the diagnosis as it is on a spectrum. As you say, there are more milder cases of it. In any case, one can get the same treatment (like CBT for the obsessive thoughts) without having an official diagnosis of OCD.

 

[white page]

Hi Kobayashi,

Welcome to psychlinks.
I am sorry that you feel so troubled at the moment.
I cannot answer your questions , as you yourself say online self diagnosis is not a good idea , a bit like reading a medical book one just ends up feeling confused , even though it may take time to see a psy therapist or councellor , really only face to face consultation can arrive at a diagnosis , there may be underlying factors such as stress etc which have brought on these deep anxiety thoughts . a therapist will help you to find the root cause .
so maybe it would be a good idea to see one .

wishing you well wp

 

[Jazzey]

Welcome to psychlinks Kobayashi!

My doctor felt that I was suffering more from depression and therefore put me on celexa. That was a disaster. After two weeks of the stuff I became so depressed that I almost became suicidal. (Never been there before, don't want to go back). So, she took me off that stuff and put me on Cymbalta. This stuff helped at first by lifting me out of my depression, but I had to come off of it due to insomnia and all sorts of other gnarly side effects. This is VERY nasty stuff. Withdrawal has been much worse than being on the drug.

I'm on celexa. I'll admit that the first couple of weeks there were a few side effects but, I've been taking it for about 6 weeks now and it's worked out very well for me.

As for the withdrawal on cimbalta, that's usually why the doctor monitors anti-depressants pretty closely. As I think is true for any anti-depressant, the patient has to be weened off the medication gradually to avoid those withdrawals.

Have you talked to your doctor about your concerns about OCD? I would think that the best place to start would be to try and get an appointment with a psychologist. Can your doctor give you a referral to someone?

When I first started trying to understand what I was going through, I read a lot of information on various internet sites and magazines. The danger with this is that 9 times out of 10, you're going to relate to an array of symptoms even though you may not ever have that particular illness. Getting assessed by someone who is trained and that field is definitely what I'd do in your situation Kobayashi. Be weary of self-diagnosis, especially when you're in a bad place. We're more prone to see many other afflictions that are really not there.

Hope you are able to find a psychologist or psychiatrist soon. :crossfingers:

 

[Retired]

Welcome to Psychlinks, Kobayashi!

With regards to the adverse effects you experiences with the medication, unfortunately you were not instructed to taper the medication on discontunation. As with most psychotropic medications, there is no common dosage for all people, and some people do not respond to some meds, but do respond to another.

Finding the right medication for your particular body / brain chemistry takes time and patience.

That being said, intrusive thoughts are just that..thoughts.

Some people may experience "pure obsessional OCD" in which they report experiencing obsessions without observable compulsions.

These obsessions often manifest as thoughts, impulses or "mental images" of committing an act they consider to be harmful, violent, immoral, sexually inappropriate, or sacrilegious.

For individuals with pure obsessional OCD, these thoughts can be frightening and torturous precisely because they are so antithetical to their values and beliefs.

I don't think if you discussed these thoughts with your doctor or therapist that the therapist or doctor would be shocked.

The kind of thought pattern is not at all bizarre or unusual, according to my understanding, and is indeed treatable.

There is a long way between intrusive thoughts and acting on these thoughts.

I sense you might have reservations about having medications prescribed, which is understandable, as a young man who has been otherwise physically healthy.

Mental or emotional disorders are no different in requiring medication than diabetes, coronary artey disease, or thyroid dysfunction.

All I am saying is keep an open mind.

Finally, as has been said, self diagnosis is a recipe for disaster.

Go ahead and make the appointment for an evaluation by a mental health specialist, wait the time it takes and receive a competent diagnosis.

There is no disgrace in receiving treatment for psychological or emotional disorders.

Is there any chance your workload or schedule may be modified to relieve the stress?

 

[Halo]

First of all, Hi Kobayashi and welcome to Psychlinks :welcome2:

While I agree with all the advice and suggestions that you have been given regarding making an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist for a diagnosis. Trying to self-diagnose over the internet is always a bad idea.

So, she took me off that stuff and put me on Cymbalta. This stuff helped at first by lifting me out of my depression, but I had to come off of it due to insomnia and all sorts of other gnarly side effects. This is VERY nasty stuff. Withdrawal has been much worse than being on the drug.

While I understand that the Cymbalta has had some withdrawal side effects for you, I don't think that saying that it is very nasty is accurate but is definitely a generalization. A lot of other people have had great success with this medication and what works for one person doesn't always work for another.

I hope that together with your doctor that you can find a medication that is more suited to your needs and doesn't give you the side effects.

 

[Mashka]

Your making a very excellent step towards getting better-recognizing that these thoughts are not a product of YOU, but of an illness. I struggled very much with intrusive thoughts, and although they've slowed down, they're not gone for good. As Halo said, self-diagnosis is a really bad idea, so its best that you talk to a professional I wish you and your family the best of luck-
Kelsey

ps. something my counselor taught me; its called a grounding technique: when your having these thoughts, close your eyes, breathe in deeply through your nose for 6 seconds straight, exhale through your mouth, all the while thinking of a place you feel most comfortable in, try to imagine the textures of things in this place, the smells, things like that.

 

[NicNak]

I agree that getting on the waiting list to see a Psychiatrist is the best option too.

Also, has your doctor gave you a full check up, including blood work for thyroid check, diabedes etc? This is important to rule out other conditions that can sometimes appear as though they are mental illness.

Racing thoughts are very troubling. I hope that you can get a medical diagnosis, self diagnosis is not a good idea as so many different conditions can share simular symptoms.

Have you maybe considered seeing another Family Doctor to see what they think? Maybe they may have something else to offer to help you before you see the Psychiatrist.

I have OCD traits that include racing thoughts. I did take Luvox as Daniel suggested for a long time with great results.

I wish you well and :welcome: to Psychlinks.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

It all started 4 months ago. I was living my life and ran into some pretty stressful stuff at work. I began to get really stressed out and couldn't sleep. Then, all of a sudden I began having these horrible intrusive thoughts. My thoughts centered around harm, specifically, that I would lose control and hurt my children or my wife in a violent manner.

The most important thing to understand about such thoughts (I call them OCD-style fears or worries) is that they do NOT imply intent but rather anxieties or worries about the safety and wellbeing of people you love. My guess is that the extraordinary stress in your life created worries about your ability to support and care for your family and THAT is the source of these thoughts.

I've been reading and discovered that these thoughts may be a form of OCD. Nobody has diagnosed me with this, but I have found some comfort by coming to the realization that I'm NOT insane, and that I would never act on these thoughts. I bought the book brain lock which has lead me to this forum.

It isn't necessarily an indication of OCD as a diagnosis (see my comments above) but many of the things that are helpful for people diagnosed with OCD are also helpful with this sort of intrusive anxiety. The book Brain Lock is an excellent starting place. Also read some of the threads here about OCD and my comments here and there about accepting and labeling the thoughts for what they are: worries, fears, NOT intentions. Doing that can help you to understand and accept the thoughts as no more than your form of worrying, and can help you learn to let the thoughts flow through or around you so they are less disturbing.

Not sure where to turn. My Doc is a pill pusher and it takes 2-3 months to get in to see a shrink in my area. Anyone have any advice? Am I barking up the wrong tree? One of my fears is that I may be encouraging the onset of full-blown OCD by researching how to get rid of the thoughts!

No, not necessarily. I do think that medication combined with psychotherapy would be helpful but as Daniel says in the quote below (and others have also noted above) finding the right medication for you is the key.

Regarding meds, you may want to ask your doctor about Luvox.

For some people, Luvox (especially the brand name, not the generic) is helpful with the type of symptoms you describe. Another alternative is one of the newer mild tranquilizers, such as clonazepam or lorazepam, although many physicians are reluctant to prescribe this family of medications.

 

[forgetmenot]

worries fears not intentions these are great words for understanding feelings felt that are fears that i might harm someone when i am in a post tramautic episode i am so afraid i will hurt her again my daughter when she gets yelling at me i snap and i am not hitting at her i just worry alot since that one episode i try to keep myself away from conflict of any type

 

[Kobayashi]

Wow!

Thanks for all the fantastic responses!

I agree - I should not be self diagnosing. I've had intermittent bouts of anxiety in the past and I think there is a connection between my current state of anxiety along with these thoughts. I think I may be "searching" for something that I can link to my anxiety and these thoughts, thus I'm grasping at straws and trying to self diagnose. I will try to stop this. It's likely adding fuel to the fire.

Admittedly, medication really frightens me after my recent experiences. I do know that it helps so many people. This may be part of my anxiety. I'm just so afraid that I'll end up where I was on Celexa. I did taper off cymbalta according to the makers instructions, but its still not a pleasant experience. My Doc prescribed me some prozac to help me with the cymbalta withdrawal, but I'm afraid to take it. Again - anxiety. Crazy thing is - It may help me. It was probably unfair of me to label her a "pill pusher".

I must admit that after reading the first few chapters of Brain Lock, the thoughts are much less powerful. I may not have classic OCD, (I'll leave that to a qualified professional to diagnose) but the book's methods are definitely helpful with the thoughts + its an interesting read. Another book that's helped me is "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett. Its not a cure-all for anxiety, but its got some good information in it.

Thanks again for your kind advice and input.

K

 

[HBas]

I read all the exellent advice and have nothing to add but do wish to WELCOME you to one of the best and most helpful sites I have ever come across! Not only does other very caring people support you but you get to support in return! So, Welcome and be strong - you are looking for answers so I am sure you will find them.
HB